Our pandemic precautions were worth it — but yes, we have been harmed

With most of our family fully vaccinated and the rest getting there as soon as we can, we’ve been talking over what we can restore to our daily lives: Where we can go, what we can do, who we can get close to. Like so many people, we gave up a lot over the past year, and we’re now cautiously figuring out what we can start taking back.

I’m finding it fairly easy to assess activities and behaviors. We’re still leaning toward the cautious end (my most medically at-risk kids are either partially vaccinated or still unvaccinated), but we’ve pieced together what seems like a rational way to assess risk; and the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter by the week, making it easier to wait patiently for the things that aren’t back to normal yet.

But I’m finding it harder to re-adjust my mental attitudes. I feel like parts of me have been permanently crippled by the psychological grind of what we had to do. I don’t have any regrets. But I’m facing the reality that what happened to us caused real harm.. Read the rest of my latest for The Catholic Weekly

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59 thoughts on “Our pandemic precautions were worth it — but yes, we have been harmed”

  1. It is beyond out now that the so-called vaccine is actually an untested experimental gene therapy that was designed to maim and kill, with tens of thousands of deaths already reported and hundreds of thousands of serious injuries. You Catholic mothers who vaccinated your children are despicable in your stupidity and recklessness and sinful fear. You just love the propaganda don’t you. Makes you feel so superior. Children have a 0% chance of catching this flu like virus, (it was never a pandemic but a casedemic, as Reiner Fuellmich has shown) and there are many many children now who are dead or with serious life long health problems. Shame on you. How utterly disgusting. You have played Russian roulette with your own children. They will most likely be sterile or will get very sick and perhaps die when the next flu comes around. That was the design of Gates and Schwab et al.

    Wake up and repent now: https://celiafarber.substack.com/p/following-the-science-into-the-grave

    1. Susan,
      Nobody is trying to kill you or your children. For your own good stay away from websites that rely on clickbait for prophet.

      Scientific methods that pertain to the growth of food and the defeat of pathogens have saved untold millions.

      As the great St. John Paul used to say: Be not afraid.
      Our life here is just a blink of an eye.

      Paranoia comes from only one source.

      1. Amen Anna Lisa. How sad that Simcha’s comment thread is being hijacked by a paranoid ignorant troll.

        1. Hi Claire,
          I know a lady like Susan. She’s very bright, but her paranoia has literally hijacked her life and is decimating her dental practice.

          She’s positive that pedophiles that eat people rule the world, and that the Russians are about to take over. Not kidding. Poor lady. I have to admit that she’s very entertaining however. She is good at what she does, and multitasks well. My kids love her awful stories. But it’s sad. She’s Catholic and wears holy medals to protect her. She is often at daily mass–and yet she still thinks that there is this giant plot afoot to hurt her, and her family. I think that the right wing of the Catholic Church feeds the paranoia of people with chemical imbalances and the people profiting from this are going to have to face Jesus for their exploitation of the vulnerable. It’s a spiritual crime that has hurt SO many people.

          1. Oh my gosh Anna Lisa, that is so sad. I’ve encountered people like that online, but never in person. I can’t even imagine.

  2. I’m going to read the article now.

    I have a few observations about vaccinations:

    1. I would rather err on the side of sacrifice when my fears threaten to undermine both my intellect and my morality.
    (What if there are long term side effects? What if it messes with hormones? What if the Devil is trying to kill us all?)

    Being crucified had long term side effects on Jesus, messed with his hormones, and was what the Devil initially was aiming for.

    If we try to save our lives at the expense of others we lose our lives.

    2. Many years ago when I didn’t want to immunize my children, my (Catholic) pediatrician said, “then they will live their lives huddling under the umbrellas of those who DID immunize their children, –and actively helped create a society with herd immunity”.

    3. Six of my 8 children are vaccinated, but we decided to wait a bit longer on the 12 and 14 year olds. My kids are late bloomers, and don’t go through puberty as soon as other kids
    (long term breastfeeding can delay puberty.).

    When studies show it is safe to vaccinate prepubescent children, we will vaccinate them as quickly as possible.

    The kitchy slogans are right: We are all in this together. We can’t be in it for ourselves. That mentality is literally killing people. It is a luxury of the first world.

    “Greater love has no man than to lay down his life for his brother.”

    4. My husband’s cousin just died of Covid in Colombia. Widespread vaccination hasn’t happened there yet. It is too late for so many.

    1. It is beyond any doubt now that the so-called vaccine is actually an untested experimental gene therapy that was designed to maim and kill, with tens of thousands of deaths already reported and hundreds of thousands of serious injuries. You Catholic mothers who vaccinated your children are despicable in your stupidity and recklessness and sinful fear. You just love the propaganda don’t you. Makes you feel so superior. Children have a 0% chance of catching this flu like virus, (it was never a pandemic but a casedemic, as Reiner Fuellmich has shown) and there are many many children now who are dead or with serious life long health problems. Shame on you. How utterly disgusting. You have played Russian roulette with your own children. They will most likely be sterile or will get very sick and perhaps die when the next flu comes around. That was the design of Gates and Schwab et al.

      Wake up and repent now: https://celiafarber.substack.com/p/following-the-science-into-the-grave

    2. The vaccines are ineffective, mere panaceas. The limited trials were flawed as nobody was exposed to the virus during the relevant studies; indeed, the actual numbers show there is no such thing as a miraculous vaccine. Pfizer math purporting trial success rates has been shown to be radically unconvincing if not deceptive. In any event, whether the vaccines are effective or not, they are clearly not safe. Adverse symptoms will routinely be blamed on “anxiety” or some other emotional reaction, or some pre-existent medical condition. As Stacey Lennox writes discussing traumas of this nature and the staple explanations adduced by professionals, “There are no words strong enough to describe how cynical and dismissive these medical providers are.”

      The surge in “cases,” predictably assigned to the always timely arrival of new mutations, may be the result, as dependable sources have claimed, of the vaccines themselves via a condition known as antibody-dependent enhancement. Prominent French virologist and Nobel Laureate Luc Montagnier, the bête noir of the leftist establishment, contends that mass vaccinations are “an unacceptable mistake… they are creating the variants.” The virus is cleverly adaptive and will find a way to circumvent the vaccines or, as noted, even use the vaccines to aid in adopting new forms. Similarly, the top-tier medical journal Vaccine has warned that the vaccines may exacerbate rather than attenuate viral infections, and remains skeptical of their viability. Additionally, previously infected persons who have been vaccinated, warns Pennsylvania immunologist Hooman Noorchashm, could suffer a “re-ignited critical inflammatory disease or blood clotting complications.”

      Not to be denied, the media and official organizations will argue that growing case numbers are attributed to the stubborn resistance of a minority cohort of anti-vaxxers. The W.H.O has even now called the unvaccinated “Covid variant factories” who may prolong the pandemic, an assumption there is no way of proving but which is obviously intended to lay the groundwork for future vaxxports. Moreover, given the vast numbers of vaccinated people who are or should be immune and the fact that young and healthy people are naturally resistant to serious complications, the assumption is highly implausible. Nonetheless, the conjurations and hexings proceed apace. The shamans and medicine men have spoken.

      The palpable fact is that the vaccinated, who are now presumably shielded, should have no fear of the unvaccinated. It doesn’t seem to matter. I have met many of the jabbed who diligently avoid those who have demurred – even close relatives – though if the vaccines they swear by were potent, they should clearly have acquired immunity and be assured of their security. They are confident, yet frightened, a perfect instance of cognitive dissonance of which they remain unaware.

      And there’s the rub. Such people are not governed by reason but by a species of magical thinking, a kind of voodoo conviction. Despite whatever inner tremors they feel or doubts they may have struggled to suppress, they insist on the soundness of the vaccines and rush to the inoculation booths. These confections are like magical elixirs, bunches of dill or lavender laid at the door to keep out demonic beings, or talismans affixed to the lintel to ward off the angel of contagion.

      If the sorcery doesn’t work, it could only have been improperly invoked or may demand a more powerful form of juju. After all, the signs and portents are everywhere. Time for a booster, and then another, ad infinitum. The U.K. has already announced a third jab for vulnerable populations to be offered beginning in September. Johnson & Johnson may require annual vaccine shots—even though longitudinal studies are years from completion and the vaccines remain in the experimental stage.

      We are an advanced society, a highly civilized and increasingly secular people. On the surface this is true, but in essence we are as primitive and credulous as our stone age ancestors. Magic, not reason, remains the psychological default. Amulets and incantations will keep us safe, our tribal elders are repositories of arcane wisdom, our witch doctors are acknowledged to be clinically infallible, and the practice of exorcism will banish the evil spirit that has possessed us. A passion for the occult supersedes the reliance on reason and common sense.

      As Amelia Janaski observes in the American Institute for Economic Research, in regard to the issue of “excess deaths” owing to bungled COVID policy responses, “epidemiological models have largely failed to predict real-world outcomes…plans often end up based on a pretense of knowledge rather than real-world evidence or understanding.” This is certainly true not only with respect to mask mandates and periodic lockdowns but equally to what has become a therapeutic obsession, to wit, the prevalent vaccine cult and fetish. We believe in the enchantment of “models” and the charm of cryptic statistical artifacts the way we believe in the apotropaic force of totems and idols. Vaccinology carries the day.

      We might say that we are idol worshippers, votaries of Francis Bacon’s four Idols of false reasoning and superstition, laid out in the Novum Organum: the Idols of the Tribe, The Cave, the Marketplace and the Theater. We are currently prone specifically to the Idols of the Marketplace, which refer to proclaimed opinions that are ephemeral or manifestly not sensible, given the available evidence; and to the Idols of the Theatre, which refer to belief in groundless scientific theories and presumed facts in the absence of valid empirical confirmation.

      Proneness to idolatry is par for the human condition, as is the susceptibility to magical thinking. But in the present age and, especially, in the “COVID moment,” idolatry and magic have become psychological vectors that govern our response to the real world. And, as always, and to our detriment, reality will have the last word.

      1. None of this is based in fact.

        Spewing this is disrespectful to the scientists and clinical providers on the frontlines desperately trying to alleviate suffering and death.

        Vaccine science is not idolatry nor magical thinking. The vaccines are not designed to sterilize, kill, or otherwise harm. Epidemiological data shows the vaccines are low risk and effective.

        May God lead you away from the liars who have you propagating bullshit conspiracy.

      2. New cases of Covid are 99.2% in the unvaccinated.

        When my Mom was a kid, her parents wouldn’t let her go to a movie theater because of Polio. We were always amazed by that, but who could blame her parents when the possibility of an iron lung was a variable?

        Science, and scientific minds are a great blessing from God. Many notable scientists that have changed the course of the world, saving millions of lives with breakthrough vaccines and therapies have been faithful Christians.

        They are a gift.

        We are all going to die. The natural dread of death afflicts all humans. Conspiracy plots are just a mind trick– a diversion from the ultimate, inescapable reality.

        I find it helpful to pull the loose strands from my hair, let them fly away in the wind, and offer my body to God, knowing that my soul is in the palm of his hand, and someday he will resurrect my body as he promised.

        The words: “holy intransigence” have been going through my mind a lot lately.

  3. You are definitely not alone, you articulated so many of the exact same thoughts I have had myself. As we have moved from being “all in this together” to what feels like 75 percent of people back to business as usual, it’s lonely being in what feels like the careful minority. I am grateful my church has kept a social distanced, masked section but have only ventured back in person twice with one child to Mass – my husband and two other kids are still too nervous about being in a mass gathering. I do feel like there are going to be long term harmful effects of all this and I am trying to see my fellow humans with less suspicion because I don’t like walking around with so much fear and judgement, it’s exhausting. It’s going to take time though.

  4. Just one more “you aren’t alone,” Simcha. As Annie noted above, not everyone is at the end. I have a child who is too young to be vaccinated yet, and I am still struggling with a lot of these feelings on a regular basis. It was helpful to see them so clearly identified in your writing.

  5. Amen! I think the psychological burden of seeing how family members acted is one I don’t know how to grapple with. How my brother endangered my elderly mother who he lives with, how she and his son got Covid because of his actions, how he still refuses to get himself or my nephew vaccinated, even when it would likely mean he would die or become disabled.

    People acted like they were making decisions for themselves alone when their actions endangered, killed or disabled others. If 25+ percent of transmission is asymptomatic, you “feeling fine” and living without precautions had an actual impact on others.

    Lord, have mercy. We did not show love of neighbor or concern with the least among us.

  6. Definitely not the only one. I struggled with a judgemental attitude before the pandemic and now I feel as if its magnified by 1000. I live in the south so people cast off their masks months ago. The visceral reaction to seeing unmasked people or large crowds has waned for me some but I still find myself making snap judgements about people when I am out and about much more than I did before. I am still very much pushing against being gas-lit about the entire pandemic though and I am actively avoiding people who I know will dismiss how incredibly hard the last 16 months has been for those of us who took it seriously and made life altering decisions to keep others (and ourselves) safe.

    1. B, I know it’s been a year+ since you made those life-altering decisions, but would you be willing to describe what you saw and heard that made you decide as you did? I chose differently than you, but I’m very keen to understand what caused people who chose as you did to do so. I want to understand what convinced you and others that life-altering decisions were necessary.

      If you have some time to help a stranger wrap her head around that, she’d appreciate it. 😉

      1. Hi There, I know you didn’t ask me, but I can tell you that I heard from my Christian & Catholic ‘friends’ and family comments on social media — not necessarily directed to me personally, but about those “sheeple” who wear masks, take precautions, choose vaccination, etc…. that we are hurting ourselves and our children…..living in fear…..not trusting God….the relentless sharing of “plandemic” type pseudo-science…literally getting in other people’s faces (not distancing) in order to make a point…..insisting on not taking safety measures at mass (making it difficult for other more cautious people to go)……dismissing the fact that it’s just “old people” that die from covid…saying that those who are vulnerable should just stay home so that others can live their lives (apparently with no concern that they may have to be out and working and serving people who are at risk). I could go on, but that seems sufficient. I will also say that my teen and young adult children were absolutely shocked with these behaviors from Christians.

        1. Would you agree that you can’t make assumptions about people’s handling of the situation unless you know them? I would be very bothered by many of the situations you described, and if confronted with them would probably react the same as you. But not everyone who isn’t getting vaccinated is also out spitting in peoples faces and name calling. I’m very bothered by the idea of seeing a stranger without a mask and making a snap judgement even though we can’t possibly know the personal situation of every unmasked stranger.
          We no longer wear masks or require our kids to. We also have made the very *personal* to us decision to not get vaccinated at this time. Do we fall into the same category as the people spitting at others to make a point? If you see me in public without a mask, will you assume I’m selfish? Are constant masking and taking the vaccine the *only* ways to care for others ? I would hope people could assume the best of others, just as I do not assume that just because someone is vaccinated or wearing a mask, that does not tell me everything I need to know about that persons character.

          1. Just to clarify. I did not observe anyone spitting on anyone else – thank goodness!
            As far as judging others for not taking precautions with the virus (I think that is what you are asking)…it really depended on whether it was someone I knew or a stranger in public. I just basically ignored the people not wearing masks, or avoided places where it was not enforced. I did judge people who bragged on social media that they wouldn’t wear a mask for so many reasons that ultimately had only to do with their individual freedom or were based on faulty information. I judge people for leading others astray with fake science. I also judge the person I know well who is distributing fake vaccine cards. Yes, that is selfish and dishonest and possibly an endangerment others. Nice Christian witness. Blech.

            1. I don’t know why I read your original comment as someone spitting on someone else 🤦‍♀️ Lol sorry. I completely agree with you and would be frustrated with those behaviors as well. I think these are private personal decisions. I wish we could all just get back to a world where we assume the best of one another and not the worst.

              1. M

                Why is it a personal decision? It’s a public health emergency and you can follow the guidelines (get vaccinated OR continue to wear masks and distance) or you can choose to not follow the guidelines and endanger yourselves and others.

                It’s not like you’d endorse this as a decent personal decision in any other realm of life—I am not going to follow the laws against drunk driving and I’m instead choosing to drink and drive home from a Christmas party.

                Opting out of any precautions when the virus is airborne and new variants spread much more quickly with little contact is choosing to not be aware of your actions and not regarding the consequences. You are choosing not to act when you need to act and not using a well informed conscience to be moved by care for others (and yourself, frankly).

                A friend died of Covid-induced cardiac arrest as the virus was in New York and we didn’t know it yet. I wish she had the choice to know and protect herself. She died because we didn’t know anything. Don’t be the reason someone now dies or is disabled.

                1. I had a response typed out and chose to delete it, because I don’t feel that anything I could say to defend myself or explain my reasoning and the other precautions my family has chosen instead will make any difference. People want to talk about charity towards their communities and love of neighbor, but then are totally willing to assume that a stranger on the internet doesn’t have a conscience or care about others because they’ve made a different choice than you. You’ve made up your mind regardless of what I have to say on the matter. I can see that vaccinated = good person and unvaccinated = bad person. There’s really nothing more to say then is there?

        2. Hi Jennifer! I don’t care that you responded to my question that wasn’t to you; I appreciate your answering it. Thanks.

          I want to make sure I understand your answer, so let me summarize what I think you said and you tell me if I got it right: It sounds like you are saying that you made life-altering decisions because your friends & family were making choices that seemed to endanger the health and safety of your family. Is that a fair summary of your response?

          1. No, not correct. Our family made life-altering decisions because we were paying attention to the recommendations of our doctors and the scientists who were giving professional advice based on evolving information regarding a novel coronavirus. We were paying attention to the communicable spread of the virus in our local community. We did not make life-altering decisions because of the choices of friends and families.

      2. Hi MargoB. I’m not the original commenter, but I also made life altering decisions. At first, I made them because there was a possibility that they *might* be necessary, as we did not know enough about the virus yet. My husband and I discussed and decided that that was enough to make it worthwhile to go into total lockdown. We literally only left the house to get groceries or go for walks around the block with our two kids.

        As the pandemic progressed and more knowledge was gained by everyone and the nature of the disease was becoming a little more clear, we changed what we were doing. We began to be in contact with my parents and in-laws, who were also isolating from other people as much as possible, because we weighed the risks and felt that by doing this, we would not be doing more harm than good. Again, we didn’t know, but made the best decision we could.

        We wore masks in public places because they may help and are a small inconvenience to pay for the possibility of saving lives. My husband is lucky enough to be able to work entirely from home, so he did. We listened to the medical consensus, and tried to follow the directions as best as we could. Not because we believe they’re always right, but because the experts in the field are the only real thing we have to go off. If they had told us to do anything that we thought was immoral, we wouldn’t have done it, and as such, I can understand those who don’t want vaccines, although I disagree with them.

        As long as there is a distinct possibility that we can stop the spread of this deadly, and life-altering disease, I believe it’s our duty to try. I personally know young people who were in perfect health who are still dealing with the effects of covid months after getting it. Nothing can convince me that it’s just like the flu, because that narrative doesn’t fit the facts.

        Maybe time will tell that our precautions were overkill, but the current course of the disease suggests otherwise.

        1. Hi Helen,
          I appreciate your answering my question, even if you weren’t who I addressed it to.

          I think you are saying that you listened to those you knew as experts and made the best decisions you could, even as more information came to light. Is that a fair sum up of what you said?

          1. Hi MargoB, I think that’s about right. We also followed the law to the best of our ability, which I also think is very important.

            We have friends (and they’re still our friends!) who had different responses, and who took different measures for different reasons (both more drastic and less drastic). Some I think were misguided, some reasonable, some even deeply irresponsible, but I do think that they were all trying to do the right thing, whether or not they succeeded.

            We’re in Canada, so the lockdown is just in the process of lifting now, and a lot of people are suffering from burnout. That is not the best mindset for making good decisions, which is another reason that I think the best thing to do is to listen to the medical consensus and follow the law.

            Also, I could be wrong about this, but I get the impression that this issue is a lot more political in the States than in Canada? Maybe that had an effect on people’s responses.

            1. Hi Helen,
              Thanks for the confirmation & for expanding.

              Yes — quite unfortunately — the entire pandemic situation here in the US of A seems to have been greatly influenced by state and federal governments, and by political parties.

              Thanks again!

      3. Not the OP either, but as I commented below my husband nearly died in his 30’s from a severe infection with a common virus. He survived because of an open-heart surgery, but has a sort of injury to his heart as result of either the surgery or the initial infection (I lean towards caused by surgery.) It’s been interesting to see how easy it is for people to dismiss events that aren’t a part of their own experience. My husband was in good health and young, not overweight, not a smoker, etc, when he contracted the common viral infection that nearly killed him – and after 2 additional procedures to mitigate the effects of his injury, is now 40 something, healthy, not overweight, not a smoker, etc. What happened to him was rare: about 350 people (of any age, but the mean was 57) per year in the US had his sort of complication between 1998-2008. By contrast, there have been 49, 878 hospitalizations for Covid JUST IN HIS AGE RANGE nationally this year. Because my husband’s body, even after treatment, does not handle excess heart strain well, making some life-altering decisions to avoid Covid exposure was a foregone conclusion.

        I don’t discuss my husband’s situation to invite pity or because I am feeling sorry for us. He survived – although he had a lot advantages that made it possible: good health insurance, help from his family and employees, to keep his small business afloat during months of illness and months of recovery, and much more – and God brought a lot of good out of his illness. He was fortunate. We were fortunate. Other people without his advantages might have died, been permanently disabled, lost jobs, etc. And even with his advantages, my husband has lifelong consequences of his infection.

        So, I can’t take the attitude that severe viral infection is “no big deal” without denying reality as I experience it. Even if the numbers of people severely affected by Covid is a minority, I don’t see that I have a choice to ignore the danger posed to others, especially the vulnerable. Others certainly don’t have my experience, but I wish we had more imagination and goodwill as a society.

  7. The vociferous reaction of Catholics and Evangelicals denying the threat of the virus, refusing masks and vaccines, “prolife people” literally saying that only old people die of covid, and sharing fake ‘plandemic’ idiocies….has had grave effect on the gospel message.

  8. You’re not alone, Simcha. I’ve been bewildered by the attitudes/behaviour of pretty much everyone within our Catholic friends circle. Because my family has taken the safety protocols seriously, we’ve been pitied for what “sheep” we are, gossiped about, and almost ostracized. My husband and I are really struggling emotionally with how to come back into relationship with them. Also, we’re in a particularly awkward time because all these friends refuse to get vaccinated, but we’re trying to protect some of our vulnerable family members (who were also in this “friends” circle) who CAN’T get vaccinated. Brutal.

    Thank you for sharing your story throughout this pandemic, Simcha. It made me feel less alone, and reminded me I wasn’t nuts!

  9. As one of those apparently behaving “selfishly and carelessly” it’s amazing how differently people can experience a common event. I’m surprised and bewildered, and a little taken aback by the underlying hostility to those that chose to take a different approach to protecting themselves and their family. Parents and individuals make these risk (not just from a physical stand-point) choices everyday and understand that other parents will not make the same choices and that’s ok. Parents choose differently in terms of what’s safe from a spiritual, emotional and physical stand-points all the time. My kids miss out on stuff they want to do when I don’t think it’s a healthy activity, but I don’t judge the other parents or wish them harm. Those not acting the same as you were also ‘just trying to protect their children’. Half the country hasn’t had a mask mandate for a while. Many states have been wide open for the better part of 9 months. My family has been going on 9 months now almost as we were in 2019. We’d wear masks where required and be considerate of others wishes and made accommodations with other parents when they had a higher level of concern. We felt the risk of harm to our kids being isolated was greater than the risk of Covid. If I felt my kids were at high-risk of harm from covid (extremely rare) I would have chosen differently. And, if I had chosen differently, I can’t imagine I would begrudge the others that didn’t and wish them harm. It would be difficult yes, as watching your children suffer always is, but it’s not the fault of the other kids out having fun and living their lives. (The ones outright lying to you are a different story, that would be hard to deal with, although I don’t really understand how you missed events because they lied. Sounds like if they told you the truth you would have skipped the event.) My first impression reading your article was there is whole lot of envy in your perspective. Or maybe it’s regret and a sinking realization you could have done things differently and you chose not to and your family suffered? Maybe it’s misplaced anger? Other people living their lives didn’t change anything for you except for provide a medium to direct your anger and guilt. Instead of directing your anger at those that didn’t see things the same way as you, maybe direct it at those who used psychologically controlling tactics to deliberately induce fear in as many people as they could. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/05/14/scientists-admit-totalitarian-use-fear-control-behaviour-covid/ . My unsolicited advice would be to keep looking inwards, get some help, and keep trying to figure out what the real issue is, because it’s not other people’s choices on how to best protect their families that’s causing you to be led to anger and paranoia. On the bright side, you should know that those “selfish” people have missed you tremendously and are genuinely excited to welcome you back — so embrace it, embrace them, and let’s move forward.

    1. Only someone who didn’t have to work in the middle of the worst, watch families die, and send 4 year olds with inflammatory heart damage to Childrens’ hospitals would have the audacity to say their decisions to participate in behaviors provably known to drive transmission and mutation could possibly write this with so much passive aggressive vitriol.

      Those behaviors *are* selfish- not *were* and yes, there’s a lot to parse out about one’s allowable boundaries.

      1. *participate in those behaviors and justify them as an equally valid “parenting” decision, and only someone that wilfully ignorant could possibly write this with so much passive aggressive vitriol.

        Pardon, my phone ate a chunk of text that I didn’t see until after publish.

      2. Wendy, No I didn’t know any 4 year-olds with inflammatory heart damage from covid because it’s extremely rare.

        FACT: Kids are more likely to die of influenza than covid-19.
        FACT: 1/3 of deaths were in nursing homes, which are already isolated from me and my kids and I have no control over their policies. Our same public health agencies that were shutting down low-risk groups and activities were intentionally sending covid patients into our most vulnerable populations. Unpack that.
        FACT: Suicides / drug-overdoses / depression skyrocketed in the 15-55 year-old age groups. That’s on the lock-downs and deliberately induced paranoia.

        Some good info in here (and no it’s not any conspiracy crap) if your interested: https://freopp.org/comparing-the-risk-of-death-from-covid-19-vs-influenza-by-age-d33a1c76c198

        I think imprisoning our young and middle-aged was selfish and senseless based on the data, but I have no ill-will to those that think differently. I genuinely don’t understand the anger, bitterness, and borderline wishing harm on those that don’t agree.

          1. Claire, that’s an inconvenient fact, how dare you? Lol.

            AB- I’ve seen ONE case of Kawasaki in my entire career, and I and my colleagues have treated dozens of MIS-C in less than 12 months. And one was the child of a friend, with labs one should *never* see, and long term impacts poorly understood.

            Also. One more time for the back row: if you are using mortality instead of morbidity and debility as your metric for danger, you are seriously missing the forest for the trees. We have a growing group of younger individuals suffering from autonomic dysfunction and POTS, that is debilitating. We’ve seen many, many cases of post COVID stroke (one of which permanently disabled my mother’s best friend) and pulmonary embolism. Stroke is the #1 cause of disability, which has huge societal and economic impacts.

            So yes. Those of us who actually understand the full range of impact are angry at being gaslit and told we are overreacting. GTFO with your self-righteous nonsense.

    2. Wow, what an unhelpful comment. It seems as though Simcha’s piece elicited a strong response from you in feeling like you have to defend yourself to the point of analyzing Simcha’s “envy” and “misplaced anger,” which, as a total stranger on the internet, you are in a perfect position to do.

      I’m sure that I probably made some different choices than Simcha did as my husband and I discerned how to best care for our family in the pandemic — what we were comfortable with, what was allowed in our region, and the risks and benefits of each activity. We had a baby in November, so we didn’t go or do much at all this winter or early spring. Like Simcha said, I’ve also had to make the mental adjustment to seeing people maskless, and now it seems normal again — but when I did go to Mass, for example, and see fellow Catholics disregarding the mask requirement, especially people who I know are anti-vaccine and bought into the “plandemic” conspiracy, I had to fight my desire to judge them. It was so disheartening to see Catholics seem to care so little about protecting other people. They probably thought that, like you, they were making fine decisions for their families; but what about caring about how those decisions impacted everyone else around them, especially “the least” of us?

      Yes, everyone has had to make difficult choices these past fifteen months, and we will have to deal with the aftermath for a long time to come. How much can I trust my fellow parishioners to care about my family and not just their own? If a global pandemic couldn’t induce them to act with others in mind, what on earth would?

    3. AB, your point of view is the one that most resonates with me in this combox.

      I do wonder about the perspective that nudges people to call certain behaviors “selfish and careless” *while covid-19 has been affecting people and in the news.* There have been other diseases affecting large parts of the population in the past 30 (let’s say) years, and surely some less-than-ideal responses to them. Was the interpretation of *those* responses “That’s selfish and careless.”?

      I do wonder how much our perspective of the dangers of covid-19 vs the dangers of the other diseases has been affected by the thousands of news/media stories about it, and the fact that many news and media sources kept putting the dangers of covid-19 in front of us regularly.

      1. I can’t remember one time during this pandemic that I thought “selfish” when I saw someone without a mask. Your comment was very charitable. Thanks for making it, I don’t feel this comment section is a friendly place to voice disagreement, which is sad.

  10. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way- the change in the last month has come at what feels like a lightning fast pace. And knowing an activity is reasonably safe now doesn’t stop me from being suspicious and worried. We’ll get there.

  11. Yes, I heartily agree. And we aren’t at the end for the very immunologically vulnerable and small children.
    Thanks for sharing.

  12. Yes, I feel this also. Commenting here and not on Facebook for the sake of anonymity. It’s been a surreal year and a bit, as my husband almost died in his 30’s from what we presume was a coxsackievirus varient. Coxsackie B is also a non enveloped single-stranded RNA virus, but I know very little about viruses, so that might be like pointing out that a bat and a rhino are both mammals. Much like the cause of this pandemic, coxsackie B is usually not severe, but very rarely can cause meningitis and a variety of heart difficulties, only this novel coronavirus is life-threatening much much more often than coxsackie B. Open-heart surgery saved my husband’s life, but it also left him with a sort of heart injury that means his body doesn’t tolerate heart strain. So we made a pretty serious effort to avoid exposure to Covid-19. I expected I would have to work around people-at-large, since many people aren’t necessarily at risk of severe illness from this virus, but I cannot get over my appalled-ness at and lost of trust in my fellow Catholics. Catholics who say they are pro-life, who were upset at the suspension of Mass last March (waves at Deanna above, since I’m also in MD), but who also not only didn’t comply mitigation efforts in church, but openly advocated against them. I think I may be permanently appalled. Please pray for me.

  13. You certainly are not the only one who feels this way. I do, too, and some friends have said they do. Thank you for your honesty and for your beautiful writing.

  14. I feel this so much. Especially as I’m in Canada and the lockdown is just beginning to be lifted. I’m lucky that my immediate family and my husband’s family both took the threat seriously enough that we never had to fight them on our decisions, or make choices that would alienate anyone, but I’ve never felt such a toll on my mental health before, and I’m not dealing well. My mother has been a volunteer at church, handing out sanitizer, reminding people to wear masks, and signing people in (we’ve had either no access to the sacraments, 15 minute communion services, or 15-30% capacity restrictions for well over a year now), and although she has not had anybody be unpleasant, she’s heard the most insane conspiracy theories from people on their way to Mass. It’s disheartening.

  15. Thank you! Yes! Yes! Yes! I still am not sure but feel like I should keep wearing a mask at Mass, at the grocery store, in public, etc. ! Even though I’m completely vaccinated. Because, well…..CDC. Call me a sheep!

  16. Our family is going through the same thing in Maryland. I am angry still about acquaintances’ behavior and I don’t know what to do with it. I am hoping that time will be the great healer. It is just the getting there…

  17. These words are so true and real and bring pain to my heart. Our family relates as we have health issues and a complicated life that caused us to quietly and cautiously make choices just like your own. I cannot even begin to comprehend how some of the most uncharitable irresponsible words and behaviors came from Christian friends and family. I get that everyone was navigating the risks with different considerations and I tried to give wide berth to others’ different choices, but it was the outright anger and lack of any care towards others that was the most hurtful…..all because they “knew better” and didn’t feel at risk personally. Working to forgive. Peace.

    1. This. And outright dismissal of scientific evidence and the heartbreak of moral injury that will have decades of consequences for our healthcare staff… some days I wonder why any of us have stayed.

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