This isn’t a new story; maybe you’ve heard it before. That’s kind of the problem. It’s been going on so long.
My dear friend Kyra Matsui, the brilliant and gifted creator of chain mail jewelry, rosaries, and other handmade goods at Iron Lace Design, is facing one big, definitive court battle in January of 2023. This is when she hopes to compel her soon-to-be-ex-husband to pay meaningful child support, the tens of thousands of back support he owes, and to contribute to the massive ongoing cost of medical, therapy, and educational expenses for their four kids, whom she cares for most of the time, who have complex special and medical needs.
He has been paying a paltry amount and fighting every step of the way, and frequently dragging out the process, making her involve her lawyer in petty struggles like whether or not to give their children melatonin. If I described a typical day in Kyra’s life for you, you would crack in half with exhaustion just reading about it. She only sleeps a few hours most nights. Her children are wonderful and beloved, but they are massively challenging and exhausting, and there are four of them. It would be an overfull plate for a committed, functional married couple to manage, and she’s doing it alone, and has been for years, with constant sabotage.
But it doesn’t end there. Her ex also wants to take her house away. Some people have expressed doubt that such a thing could legally happen, so I am going to explain as well as I can.
This is the house her mother bought before she married Kyra’s dad, and where Kyra grew up, in a safe, beautiful neighborhood, and it’s the house where she and her four kids are now living, and which allows them to access the special schools and services Kyra has laboriously secured for them.
When Kyra’s father died, he willed the house to Kyra, who was then a stay-at-home mom with no income. The house needed massive renovations before they could live there safely, so she briefly added her husband’s name to the deed to get a loan to fund the repairs.
Now this is the part of the story where I don’t want to get legally attacked, and lose my own house. So I want you to imagine what would be going on in a marriage, that would compel a gentle, loving, faithful stay-at-home mom of four young children to tell her husband that he must leave, even though she has no income and no car. I want you to imagine what could lead up to that, and what many things she might endure, and what many things she might attempt and beg for before it got to that point. I want you to imagine how a man in such a situation might possibly act, leaving behind a string of massive credit card debts, bar and dojo receipts, and alternative lifestyle proposals. Use your imagination. Don’t hold back.
And now imagination time is over. In real life, this man now says that the house is his, and that the court should force Kyra to sell it and give him half the money, take the four children, and go live in a rental space. They live in Toronto, the most expensive city in Canada.
So this is the other thing the court trial is about. We are hoping the judge will hear Kyra’s story, see all the evidence, which is copious and horrifying, and rule that he must start supporting his children, and he must not make them homeless.
Kyra has a good lawyer. Good lawyers are expensive. We don’t believe Kyra should be forced to sell her family house and give the proceeds to a man who has refused to accept his most basic responsibilities. Kyra is not naturally an aggressive, combative person; just the opposite. But this is the time to fight, and she needs an army behind her.
The trial is in January. Please consider giving a small amount if you can (or large! Large is good!) and please share. I vouch for her to the moon and back, and I wish I could legally share more information, because your hair would stand on end. Thank you.