I’m going!

to the first ever Faith and Family Mom’s Day Away in Stoneham, MA!

It will be April 2, which is the baby’s birthday.  Too bad, baby!  Mama’s going to hang out with Danielle Bean, Jen Fulwiler, and Rachel Balducci, who will all be speaking at the event:

In addition to the talks, our schedule for the day will include Mass, opportunity for personal prayer, adoration, and confession, catered lunch, select vendors, and book signings.

I happen to know that the following fascinating women will also be there:  Hallie Lord!  Rebecca Teti!   Melanie Bettenelli with her guaranteed beautiful new baby! Lisa Mladinich! Kate Wicker! Pat Gohn! Dorian Speed!  Lisa Hendey! Siouxsie and the Banshees!  Or maybe I just dreamed that!

It was kind of a long night.  The baby decided she was no longer going to fall for this ridiculous “sleeping” routine, and by the time she succumbed, I was wide awake and ready to fret the night away.  Then she woke up again half an hour before the alarm went off.  So I changed her, started some laundry, some coffee, and some cream of wheat (yes, they each ended up in the proper receptacles somehow).  Got the kids out of bed, and 45 minutes later we were all in the van, just waiting for my son.  I had seen him with his jacket and one boot already on, so I assumed it was safe to get into the car and leave him to figure out the rest on his own.

Mothers, never underestimate an 8-year-old boy’s ability to  . . . just stand there.  For any amount of time, for no particular reason.  He has other talents, but his main one is . . . just standing there.  Eventually I got the little goober out the door and into his seatbelt.  We blasted through the fresh blanket of snow that had fallen (because yes, Lord, yes — we needed more snow.  More snow is exactly what we needed) and onto the highway.

Fifty yards down the road, a truck stopped in front of me to make a left turn.  I stopped.  I really did stop.  I stepped on the brakes, anyway.  But after several seconds of dreadful, silent drift, it became clear to me that I could either smash into the truck, or into the snow bank.  The snow bank looked like it was resigned to more smashing, so that’s the route I took.

And you know what?  No one got hurt, the van was fine, I didn’t hit the truck in front of me.  AND, the driver of the truck pulled over to make sure we were okay; she lent me her phone, and while I was calling my husband, two guys stopped to help.  While one of them was hooking up a chain to the van’s back bumper, a volunteer from the fire department stopped to direct traffic.  Everyone was just lovely, and within five minutes, I was back on the road.  Isn’t that nice?

However, I believe I could use a day away, even if I have to wait for April!  And I know you could, too.  It really does sound like it’s going to be a wonderful time.  If you can make it at all, I would absolutely love to meet you there!  And yes, if I can get my act together, I will be handing out Pants Passes.

Where’s Mama? Where’s Mama?

There she is!  Oh, um, sorry, I mean, please come see me in two other places today.

Such a day!  I have a piece up at Faith and Family Livean interview with Kathy Rivet, who has been teaching Creighton Model NFP for over 30 years. Kathy has also been my instructor for about eight years, so I can personally attest to the fact that she is a woman of supernatural patience and fortitude.  Come check out what she has to sayabout the changes she’s seen in the world of NFP.

And today The Anchoress is going to Rome, and I’m not jealous at all, do you hear me?  She has very generously invited me, Danielle Bean, and Sally Thomas to write guest posts while she’s gone.  So come on over and see the video of Dolly Parton that I found!

How should I do this?  Should I post the same thing here and there?  Or should I just leave a note here to remind you to see me there?  What should I do?  Where did I put my coffee?  What’s that smell?  You thought it was okay to just step over this mess and keep on walking? And with a track record like this, you think I’m going to get you a dog???

Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to again.  Nooo, I wouldn’t rather be in Rome….

“I’m not a homosexual. I’m a man.”

Come on over and see me at Faith and Family today (for real this time!), where I have a short interview with a young, gay, faithful Catholic man.  You’ll like him — he’s so clean and articulate!  But something tells me Joe Biden would not be impressed.

And hello and welcome to Faith and Family and Creative Minority Report readers.  Stick around for tomorrow, when we will  . . . okay, I have no idea what we will be doing tomorrow.  The Jerk, who usually reviews movies on Thursdays, is taking a few days off.  I think he found himself singing along with Pat Benetar during the big climax in The Legend of Billy Jean,

and is going on a retreat to reassess his life goals.   But he will be back!

Vaya con Dios, The Jerk.