How do we keep our celebration of Christmas from getting too materialistic?
I have bad news: If it is this point in the year and you are just now worrying about it, it’s probably too late. The way we celebrate Christmas tends to reflect the way we live in general.
If you and your family are constantly thinking about shopping and upgrading and keeping up with TikTok influencers, then Christmas will be the same, just with more jingle bells. If you and your family rarely think of people in need, and then you suddenly decide halfway through December to throw some money at a toy drive or a food pantry, then it will feel artificial and performative because it is. If Mass and other religious practices are something you grudgingly fit into your ordinary life if you have time and are in the mood, then that is how the Nativity of the Lord will be.
We are more consistent than we realize. Your Christmas will look the way you have decided to live. So, if you are materialistic all year long, then yes, your Christmas will almost certainly be materialistic. Sorry!
But I did say “almost certainly.” The reason is this: I know very few self-identifying Catholics who really celebrate Christmas in the hyper-materialistic way I described above. I read about such things online—kids flipping out because their new Audi isn’t the color they wanted or wives refusing to come out of their rooms because last year’s diamond was bigger—but in real life, all the people I know who are worried about materialism swallowing up Christmas really just mean: “Presents are a big part of Christmas at our house, and that makes me feel weird.”
Don’t feel weird. It’s O.K. Presents are nice, and they are a normal and morally neutral way to express love to each other (and sometimes, a way to keep the peace in the family, and that’s not necessarily wrong either). Just because money has changed hands and wrapping paper is involved, that doesn’t mean you have violated the spirit of the Incarnation.
What I used to tell my kids, back when they listened to me, was that Christmas is baby Jesus’ birthday, and the only present he wants from us is for us to be good to one another. But there is no reason that being good to one another cannot take the form, in part, of buying or making presents. That is part of incarnational living: Expressing love through physical means. Buying or making a thoughtful, meaningful gift that you can reasonably expect to bring happiness to someone else is a far holier thing than dourly insisting that our Lord and savior is sick and tired of all this merriness.
We do need to remember the poor (on Christmas, and every day), and we do need to worship the Lord (on Christmas and every day), and we do need to be good to each other in intangible ways (on Christmas, and every day). It is also perfectly fine to mark the season by having fancy cookies and buying electronics for one another. It is a big holiday. There is room for a lot of different ways to celebrate.
There is more good news … Read the rest of my latest for America Magazine.