I go back and forth . . .

about whether to consider myself a feminist.  Then I read something like this, and I think to myself, no way, Jose.  Someone else is gonna have to rehabilitate that word.  I’m not getting within 100 yards of anyone so insanely prickly.  How do they even function when they’re bristling with rage all the time?  How do they even manage to get enough oxygen circulating through their wizened little hearts, when every breath they take is saturated with toxic levels of imaginary sexism?  What a cold, hard world it is for people who . . . really get off on thinking it’s a cold hard world.  My stars.

 

STEALY KILLY

The other day on the Register, someone commented,

What is the point of blogging about your personal life?  So you don’t like to camp and your dog took a crap in your filthy house.  Very nice.

Yeah, well, the difference between this lady and me is that, when I write unpleasant, pointless stuff that nobody cares about, I get paid for it.   Ha ha!

But I have actually been making an effort to defilthify my house lately, going so far as to clean out what I think of as “passive granola” that has accrued in my cabinets.  I also put away the snow pants that everyone has been stepping over to get out the front door, because it’s August already, and winter is practically over.  Fancy, eh?

I worried a little bit that, if I keep up this pace, I’ll lose all the street cred I gained when I wrote one of my most shared posts ever:  Seven Decorating Tips from House Horrible Magazine, which documents the exact moment when we abandoned home school and just started teaching the kids poker.

But I should not have worried.  My seven-year-old daughter picked some berries, and wanted to reserve them for herself.  I suggested putting a lid on the container, and maybe leaving a note.  This is what she wrote:

I really like the quiet menace behind “Boys change your mind.”  I see a bright future for this kid.  If we can only figure out some way she can get paid for writing this stuff . . .

Seven Quick Takes: The Stupids Go Camping

 Here is how our little camping trip went.

1.  Several people asked about the yurt we rented.  This particular one was in a state park, and so it was ridiculously cheap:  something like $40 a night.  (At that price, you need to book it many months in advance.)  It has wooden floors, electric outlets, and an overhead fan, and came with a table, shelves and — get this — eight sets of wooden bunk beds.  This pic doesn’t capture the atmosphere, but it gives you a general idea of the structure:  So the baby slept in her portacrib, and the other kids each had their own top bunk.  We did bring a fan, which was a good call, but no other appliances.  We kept perishable food in a cooler.

The sides and roof of the yurt are insulated canvas, with a wooden lattice frame holding them up, and there are screened windows and doors.  The top is a domed skylight, which you can crank open with the use of a long pole. It is cool and airy, and completely gorgeous as the light changes, like living in a bower made by very intelligent birds.  We were surrounded by pine trees, and the campsite had several picnic tables, in-ground and above-ground firepits and grills for cooking, and our own personal port-a-potty.  There was a water spigot fifty yards away, and a dumpster down the road.

So it was perfect for our purposes:  just inconvenient and outdoorsy enough to be entirely different from living at home or staying in a hotel, but with enough conveniences to make life bearable.

2.  I don’t care what my husband says, that was definitely a bear.  We also heard some owls making really lunatic noises.  This is where I was especially happy to have more than a mere tent to get inside of.

3.  My favorite part was actually the shelves. I absolutely hate rummaging through boxes to find things.  Being able to put things in order — having  a “medicine chest” shelf, a pantry shelf, a utensils shelf, etc. –  made me feel sane.  That and a laundry basket for all dirty clothes, and a clothesline for hanging wet stuff.  And a garbage can, and lots of garbage bags.

4.  Our favorite meal was “walking tacos.”  I brought some cooked ground beef in disposable pie tins, which we heated up on the campfire.  Each kid got two little bags of Doritos, to which we added the meat, shredded cheese, cherry tomatoes, and salsa.  IT WAS SO GOOD.  Possibly because we were starving by the time the meat was hot.

We also grilled corn on the cob.  You just throw it right on the grill with the husk still on.  Sweet, juicy, and fantastic.

We followed up this meal with a silly dessert:  you take ice cream cones (sugar cones, with the pointed ends) and stuff them with peanut butter, banana slices, chocolate chips, and mini marshmallows, wrap the whole thing in tin foil, and put it on the grill until the insides melt.  It was a little too much work for the results, but the kids liked it.

5.  For some reason, I thought it would be silly to bring forks and spoons.  We’re camping, after all!  So I brought one spoon, feeling fine and pioneerish.

Well, next time I’m bringing forks and spoons.  And pot holders.

6.  As I mentioned in the Register, the swimming hole was scary.  The trails in the park were also pretty lousy — full of stinky bogs and felled trees, and very poorly marked and maintained.  So instead of swimming or hiking, we ended up going back, over and over, to the waterfall spot I described.  The kids will remember it forever.

7.  And here are some more pictures!

Benny in her outdoorsman outfit, with her Benny face.

What I plan to do next time I consider starting a discussion about the contraceptive mentality or circumcision or vaccinations or homeschooling.

Monsters that we are, we insisted that the kids get out of the van to go to this boring, lousy, not-fun place, because we are jerks.

Some people were very much in their element.

 

“Look, Mama, I’m a mermaid!”

 

I mean good grief, what a gorgeous spot!

Intrepid.

 

Helping Daddy grill corn in the rain

some interpersonal relations during lunch

Yay, we went camping!

Okay, that’s going to have to do!  Check out Conversion Diary for all of this week’s other Seven Quick Takes.

NFP Awareness Week: Book Cover Reveal + Open Thread

I am aware of NFP.  Are you?  I’ve been aware that it’s NFP Awareness Week for some time, now, but I’m kinda tired of NFP.  I even wrote a book about it basically so I could stop thinking about it already.

I’m so darn lazy, I don’t even have the energy to put together a list of helpful links – but honestly, that’s why we have Google.   Seriously, you guys, I had a margarita last night at Theology on Tap, and then two, what do you call them, Angry Pirates.  That’s not what they’re called, but either way, the sugar and the booze is making me dumb.  I spent the whole morning assembling my daughter’s new flower pressing kit, and then I realized we could just go ahead and use a big dictionary.  And it turns out I’m supposed to make supper today, or whatever.

So I thought I’d just ask you guys:  any questions, for me or for other readers?  OH, do you want to see my book cover?!? The book is coming out in November, but I can show you the cover!  John Herreid designs covers for Ignatius Press, and because he’s my brother-in-law’s brother, he did my cover for free, possibly not realizing that I was going to be an indecisive, vague, controlling lunatic about it.  This is what we came up with.  It absolutely slays me.

So, if you were considering buying this excellent book for your parish, would the side boob dissuade you?  TOO BAD.  I love this cover so much.  Check out Adam’s hairy legs!  And the priest is like, “WHAT the–”

Oh, and a rejected book cover

I forgot about this one.

John reminds me that he also offered to  “draw an angry cartoon guy shouting ‘DIS WOOKS WIKE COWNTWACEPTIVE MENTAWITY!!’ to add in the margins alongside controversial passages.”  Maybe for the hardcover edition, eh?

Finish your Wednesday right . . .

With The Carlos Danger Name Generator.

I entered “Ron Mexico” and came out with “Dario Kill.”  Hard to argue with that.

The Stupids Are Prepared

Every once in a while, someone writes to me looking for advice about how to run a large household with thrift and efficiency.

Why don’t I?  Because of things like this:

What?  I had a dream.  It’s going to be a bad scene, folks — the great ketchup famine of ’14.  Be prepared!  Plus, it’s not often that I come out looking worse than Mrs. Pig,

At least she bought all that ketchup on purpose. I, on the other hand, just suck at making shopping lists.

 

“In retrospect, it was ‘really stupid …’”

Oh my sisters and brothers, here is the best story you will read all week.

Product review: Pet Vet Center

I don’t usually do product reviews, but I’m so pleased with the birthday present we just gave our six-year-old daughter! It’s the Pet Vet Center by Lakeshore Learning Materials.

I thought it was kind of pricy at $29.99, but ordered it anyway because I was in a rush.  Turns out it’s really high quality.  The puppy is extremely sturdy and much bigger than I expected, and the legs are jointed, so you can pose it.  The cards and other accessories are heavy and durable.  The biggest surprise was the stethoscope.  It actually works!  We’ve had a LOT of doctor sets in our day, and the stethoscope usually works about as well putting a glass on a wall.  But with this one, the sounds are very clear and very loud.  You can hear your heart beating and your gut swishing around.  Very cool.

It doesn’t come with a carrying case, but the box is very strong and looks like it will last.  Overall, a very nicely designed toy, very appealing and sturdy, and made with actual kids in mind.

I ordered it through Amazon.  As with all the Amazon products I link to, I get a small percentage of any sale made (including any product on Amazon.  So if you click on a link I post on a book review, browse around, and end up ordering Epsom salts and a package of underwear, I still get a percentage).

Soon you’ll have to opt IN to get porn online in the UK

Says David Cameron, the Prime Minister:

Children can’t go into the shops or the cinema and buy things meant for adults or have adult experiences – we rightly regulate to protect them.

But when it comes to the internet in the balance between freedom and responsibility, we have neglected our responsibility to our children.

My argument is that the internet is not a side-line to ‘real life’ or an escape from ‘real life’; it is real life.

It has an impact: on the children who view things that harm them on the vile images of abuse that pollute minds and cause crime on the very values that underpin our society.

He is introducing a number of measures to make it harder for people to look at child porn and depictions of rape.  And pornographic images will automatically be filtered out by default, unless you deliberately opt out of the filter.

But what about free speech?  I’ve been around and around that mulberry bush more times than I can count, so I’m no longer surprised when people imagine that a free society entitles them to shit all over the whole world — and that it’s parents’ job to shovel a little path through the shit for their kids, if they’re going to be super uptight about it.

This law doesn’t outlaw pooping.  It just acknowledges that shit is shit, and it should be treated accordingly.

It should be hard to find porn.  It should be embarrassing.  Using it should make you feel nervous and guilty, because it is bad for you, bad for your family, and bad for society.  And if you are enslaved to it, you should be grateful that the public and private sectors are working together to make it less accessible and normalized.

How I wish we could see laws like this in the United States.  It’s still a parents’ job to protect children, and it’s still up to the individual to fight back against the flood of porn.  But making it a little less normal, a little less accessible, is a wonderful thing.

For help in breaking an addiction to porn, or for dealing with it if your spouse is addicted, see these resources:

Integrity Restored

Matt Fradd’s The Porn Effect

Fight the New Drug

Porn No More

Marcel Lejeune’s list of strategies.

Feel free to add your own recommendations in the comment box.  Porn is powerful and corrosive, but the fight against it is by no means hopeless!