Coming up: radio spot, FB live chat, and conference in Burlington, VT

Busy busy! Tomorrow at 1:30 eastern, I’ll be on America This Week (Sirius XM Catholic Channel) talking with Fr. Paddy Gilger, Fr. Eric Sundrup and America Senior Editor J.D. Long-Garcia about my July cover article, How the church can help (or hurt) women in abusive marriages.

What priests say to women in abusive relationships can be life-changing.

Many women in abusive marriages struggle to share their experiences with anyone. Women of faith turn to priests who often do not know how to advise them. What options are left for women in these situations? How can the church be more helpful?

In this week’s Behind the Story, Senior Editor J.D. Long-García speaks with Simcha Fisher, author of “How the church can help (or hurt) women in abusive marriages,” from our July 9th issue. They’ll be happy to address your questions during the conversation. Please comment below, send us a Direct Message or if you’d rather remain anonymous, please email behindthestory@americamedia.org.

No one wants to admit they are in an abusive marriage, but there are options available for those who are ready.

Thursday at 12:30 eastern, I’ll be on Facebook Live to discuss the topic again, and you can participate in this chat by commenting on this Facebook thread or emailing behindthestory@americamedia.org. You can click on the link to get a reminder for the live chat.

 

Finally, I’ll be at the Year of the Family Conference in Burlington, VT, on August 25. I’ll be giving the afternoon keynote address: The Family as Icon, and also an interactive breakout session: Supporting couples who use NFP: How to help, and what to avoid. The breakout session is intended for those directly involved in teaching and supporting the use of NFP. There are ten breakout sessions, and attendees may choose two. Register here ($30).

My kids have been busy, too. Here is what they did yesterday. My only contribution was to say, “No, you may not use caramel sauce and red food coloring for blood.”

I’ll be in Manchester, NH, this Saturday

. . . delivering one of my favorite speeches, “Beautiful Stranger: Making Contact with the Mother of God.” Short notice, I know! My host is the Women of Mary group, which meets at Ste. Marie in Manchester, 378 Notre Dame Ave.

PDF of flyer here

Donation is $5 to join in.

Here’s the schedule:

7:15- 7:45      Mass at Ste. Marie Church.

7:45-8:00       Women greet one another; have coffee, tea, and light breakfast, fellowship with one another at tables.

8:00-8:10       Opening songs led by our Music ministry. Welcome new members.

8:10                Announcements

8:15                Decade of the rosary

8:25-9:00 (or 9:15)  My talk

9:15-9:25-9:30.       Closing song by our Music ministry.

All are welcome! It would be lovely to see you there.

***

 My speaking schedule for the rest of the year still has some openings. If you’d like to book me for your group, conference, Theology on Tap, or other event, drop me a line at simchafisher at gmail dot com, and let’s work something out!

The speaker you need is Simcha J. Fisher!

Planning a conference, retreat, lecture series, or any other event that needs a speaker? I’m pretty sure you’re looking for me, and I have some open spots on my calendar.

I have several years of experience, and have given talks at every kind of event, from enormous conferences drawing audiences in the thousands, to a gathering of a dozen ladies in someone’s living room, to the monthly meetings of various Legatus chapters, to pro-life fundraisers, to the World Meeting of Families. I’ve spoken in Portland, Wichita, Syracuse, and everywhere in between, and I’d love to come to your city next.

My speeches are funny, passionate, and sincere, and they aim to entertain you, make you think, and come away with a practical plan. Some recent popular talks include:

Your Family Is an Icon
What did I learn from having a photographer follow our family around, documenting large family life? My family — and yours too — is an icon, a beautiful and powerful evangelical tool to bring people closer to God. And it is so because of its imperfections, not despite them.

Beautiful Stranger: Making Contact with the Mother of God Mary, to me, was Our Lady of Maybelline: pretty, demure, pristine — and nothing to do with messy, slobby, crabby me. One terrible year, everything fell apart, and I abruptly came face to face with the actual Mother of God. Here’s what happened.

Swimming in the Dark: Spreading the Good News When You’re Feeling So Bad Pope Francis has made it clear that evangelization is an obligation, not an option. But what if we’re not feeling joyful right now? What if we’re shy, or depressed, or suffering? How do people like us evangelize?

Not what you’re looking for? I have several more talks prepared, or I’d be happy to tailor one to your audience.

Drop me a line at simchafisher@gmail.com and let’s see what we can work out. And spread the word!

Blog housekeeping, updates, issues, tissues, damned lies, statistics, and no end of stilton cheese

A little housekeeping today. Ha ha, no, not in my actual house. That’s crazy talk. Just blog housekeeping.

LINGERING SERVER ERRORS A little over a week ago, I switched to a self-hosted (well, brother-hosted) server, to gain more control over this site. In the process, whacky things happened, and not everyone could access my blog. If you’re still having trouble getting to the site, please add a “www” before simchafisher.com, or if there is an https in the URL, try taking out the “s.” These issues should be just about ironed out, but it may take another day or so. You may need to update your bookmark. Sorry about that! Thanks so much for your patience. The internet is tubes. The internet is tubes.

EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS I seem to have lost all my email subscribers in the migration. Boooo! If you want to get an email every time I post, you will have to resubscribe, using the form on the right sidebar. I miss you! I want you back!

PODCAST The weekly podcast continues apace, whatever that means. Starting yesterday, I’ve switched from Soundbutt to an integrated WordPress media player, so you can listen right from this site, and you can now download the podcast to hear later. The podcast is open to lovely subscribers who have pledged their support through Patreon, which is how I’m currently funding this blog. It’s fun! You should come along!

FEED The feed is a mess. Just a mess. It is on my list!

OTHER WAYS TO KEEP IN TOUCH Every post I write goes on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Tumblr, so you can follow all my nonsense in any of those spots. I have a personal Facebook page, where I post photos and all the silly stuff one posts on social media, as well as all my blog post. My personal page is maxed out on friend requests, but you can still “follow” me. I also have a professional page, which only shows blogs posts, which you can “follow” and “like” to keep updated.

EMAIL I am approximately seventy-three years behind in my emails. I am sorry. I read everything I get, and if you asked for prayer, I definitely prayed. I am working my way through the backlog. Please don’t take it personally! If it’s urgent, it couldn’t hurt to email again.

SPEAKING I am still scheduling speaking engagements for 2017! Shoot me an email at simchafisher[at]gmail[dot]com and let’s make some plans. For you, I’ll even wear heels. Here are a few popular recent talks:

Your Family Is an Icon
How your family as it is right now is an icon, a beautiful and powerful evangelical tool to bring people closer to God, because of its imperfections, not despite them.

Beautiful Stranger: Making Contact with the Mother of God One terrible year, I was forced to get past my silly ideas about Mary and finally get to know her — and let her help me.

Swimming in the Dark: Spreading the Good News When You’re Feeling So Bad Pope Francis has made it clear that evangelization is an obligation, not an option. But what if we’re not feeling joyful right now? Do we still have to put ourselves out there?

AMAZON As long as I’m mentioning All The Things, have I reminded you lately that you can help my family out a ton by using my link when you shop on Amazon? I’ll have a sidebar button soon. In the meantime, please consider bookmarking this as your Amazon page. It will be exactly the same shopping experience as usual for you, but I will earn a percentage of every sale. This helps us pay very important bills! Thanks!

NO END OF STILTON CHEESE
10 PRINT “STILTON CHEESE”
20 GOTO 10
RUN

Ask your parents, kids.

What’s for supper? Vol. 6: In which we enjoy the World Meeting of Families by eating

whats for supperWe took the baby and drove to Philadelphia on Thursday, so I could speak at the World Meeting of Families on Friday. Philadelphia, it turns out, is far away, and it takes a long time to drive there. The baby thought this was bullshit, even despite the crackers and rice rusks and wagon wheel puffs we kept throwing at the back seat. We have decided that next time we decide to drive to Philadelphia with a baby, we will change our minds, and not. Anyway, here is what we had this past week, before, during, and after our adventure:

SUNDAY FROZEN PIZZA AND ICE CREAM

Sunday we went apple pickingcorrie appleswith my parents, my sister Rosie and her family, and my brother Jacob and his family.apple orchard familyLovely day! Long ride home, frozen pizzas hit the spot.

MONDAY ZUPPA TOSCANA AND PUMPKIN BREAD

This was one of those days where I kept on finishing up some task and then saying, “Okay, NOW I can get started on supper,” and then the phone would ring and I would have to throw the kids in the car and drive around for another forty minutes. As a result, I rushed and scrambled and screwed both recipes up six different ways, but they both survived, and will both stay on the rotation. The Zuppa Toscana is one of those Olive Garden copycat recipes. I didn’t have any bacon for the soup, and used half and half instead of cream, but it was still mighty tasty. I bought sausage in casings and squeezed the meat out, blushing heavily the whole time.zuppa toscanaHere’s the pumpkin bread recipe. I foolishly tripled the recipe, which was way too much even for us. It made two loaves, a dozen muffins, and a giant casserole, plus a bunch of batter that I just lapped up like the hungry, batter-eating dog that I am. Here’s a picture of Benny helping me make this recipe a year ago, when I had my shit much more together:

benny-muffins

She was saying, “Look at me, Mama! I greatest.”

In the blog post where this photo appeared, I said:

Today we were short a few eggs, so we just mushed up a couple of bananas in their place. Sometimes I put demerara sugar on top, sometimes I add wheat germ, sometimes I add walnuts, almonds, or (to everyone’s chagrin) raisins, but mostly I just make the recipe as is — except I double it, which yields 24 muffins and two loaves. They are lovely and moist, and very good for adding to the kids’ lunches; and while, okay, they are essentially cake, pumpkin is a vegetable! It’s a vegetable.

Wheat germ? Settle down, lady. Isn’t it weird when you read something you wrote not long ago and think, “Who is that?”

TUESDAY SPAGHETTI CARBONARA, GARLIC BREAD, HOT FUDGE SUNDAES

Tuesday was my daughter Clara’s birthday. (She’s having a Hobbit-themed party in a few weeks.) Spaghetti al carbonara is a magnificent dish, so easy to make, so easy to accidentally eat several gallons of. We follow the Fannie Farmer recipe. I fried up the bacon ahead of time, then disguised it in about eleven layers of tin foil and hid it in the back of the fridge with a threatening note attached. Once that was done, the rest is really quick to throw together. Really good company dish. For the sundaes, I couldn’t find hot fudge sauce at Aldi, so I made this quick chocolate sauce recipe: Mix together in a heavy pot 12 oz. of chocolate chips and 12 oz. of evaporated milk. Heat slowly while stirring until it’s all melted and smooth, then add 2 tsp. of vanilla. It turned out a little grainy, probably because I kept wandering away from the pot; but it was still rich and yummy, and the birthday girl10556926_10152488408707029_7695607588346500453_opronounced it good.

WEDNESDAY CHICKEN NUGGETS, HOT PRETZELS, ASPARAGUS

Asparagus is the natural choice for a meal like this, because you suddenly remember there is asparagus in the house, and it’s not getting any younger. Whenever my mother would serve asparagus, my father would say, “Look, kids, see how much Ima loves you? She took the time to braid each individual asparagus tip!”

ima and abba

my parents

My only other comment is that few culinary events are sadder than overcooked asparagus. It should be really crunchy when it’s done, so it doesn’t lose that nice nutty flavor. I just put a half inch of water in a pan, boil it, throw in the asparagus with a loose cover, and cook it for a few minutes, and then sprinkle some lemon juice over it. I could eat a bushel of it. Then my husband went out and bought a bag of popcorn and a bag of sugar, and then my mother-in-law came over. Then we left town!

corrie driving

ciao

And then the dress I ordered came in the mail. Humph. We managed to get to New York just before the Pope did on Thursday, then we got to Philadelphia just as the World Meeting of Families was wrapping up (I think my talk was the last one) on Friday, then we left Philadelphia just before the Pope got there on Saturday. Because that’s how we do, stuff, okay? We stopped in New Jersey and bought a solar powered waving pope and some salt water taffy for the kids, because certain three-year-olds had extracted certain promises from me before we left. I wish I could tell you more about World Meeting of Families, but I really only went to my event! No time for anything else. We didn’t even get there in time to see the vendors, and we had to leave before everything shut down completely for the Pope. Everyone I met seemed to be having a splendid time, though. Back to the food!

THURSDAY HOT DOGS, CHIPS, RAW PEPPERS and HUMMUS if you’re a kid stuck at home

I think this is what they ate.  We had some kind of overpriced pizza with tons of things on it for dinner. First pizza with anchovies on it. Tasty.

corrie hotel

Corrie settles in to her hotel bed; wonders where her parents will be sleeping.

FRIDAY RAVIOLI if you’re a kid stuck at home

Buck-a-shuck raw oysters, and then cheesesteaks, if you’re in Philly

oystersWe’d never had raw oysters before, and we weren’t super hungry yet, so we got a bunch of buck-a-shucks at some place called The Olde Somethinge. Verdict: they taste fine. They are pretty good with horseradish. No regrets, but no particular reason to ever order raw oysters again, either. (The chicken and fries were for Corrie, after the waiter tipped us off that it would be cheaper to buy her a whole kid’s meal than just fries.) Then we walked around the city for a while

You people of Philadelphia, you live like gods.

You people of Philadelphia, you live like gods.

until we got hungry enough to look for cheese steaks, which turned out to be yummy, being as they were made out of cheese and steak. Good one, Philadelphia!

yummy little cheesesteak

yummy little cheesesteak

SATURDAY I dunno. Pretty sure people ate things.

meal plan (1)So, Philadelphia! We briefly met some wonderful people, caught glimpses of some gorgeous neighborhoods, and had the impression that it’s an awesome place. I heard someone speaking Spanish with an Australian accent, and watched some Franciscan friars in patched robes patiently, kindly engage a sweaty man with a giant “NEW ‘CHURCHES’ ARE CORRUPT” protest banner. After driving seven hours with a screaming baby who somehow didn’t need to sleep at all that night, and arguing with a front desk clerk who insisted that our room wasn’t paid for, and getting on the wrong train repeatedly, and going to the wrong door repeatedly, and then ending up in the wrong building, and calling people who said they could be called for help, and hearing that their voice mailbox was full, we found ourselves dashing around the Convention Center, which is the size of Rhode Island, trying to figure out where, if anywhere, my credentials were. Seeing our plight, a woman came up and said, “I’m from Philadelphia. Want some help?” She then walked us alllll over the place until she delivered us to the right spot, pointed out the best-stocked bathroom, and disappeared. If I get to Heaven and my guardian angel has her face, I won’t be surprised. Here’s a few pictures my husband took during my speech while he held the baby (him holding the baby was kind of a theme that weekend):wmof 3  That is Bishop Gainer of Harrisburg, much-beloved of his flock.wmof 2Here is where the audience’s attention started to wander, so I just started singing show tunes:wmof show tunes  And here I am on the street afterward, suddenly realizing that I’d rather get Pennsylvania Hookworm than spend another second in those heels:wmof shoes off  Oh, one more: Here is us finally meeting Tom McDonald, who was covering the event for the Register. Corrie could not take her eyes off his hair:wmof with tomWhew! What a week. Then we came home and went shopping so we could eat this week, too, and then watched one of the Pope’s speeches*, and picked the grapes before they withered on the vine, and even caught the lunar eclipse. All Hail my mother-in-law, Helen Mary, who kept everyone happy, healthy, and whole while we were gone; and all hail to my husband, for making the crazy drive and dealing with that crazy baby and crazy me, and carrying a million bags all over creation. He even took a picture of my eyeliner so I would believe him when he said it wasn’t smudged. I think I’ll skip the link-up this week. Let’s do this again on Friday! *** *Me: We’re going to listen to the Pope’s speech now.
Irene: What if I don’t understand all the words he uses?
Me: Just keep listening. Anyway, he’s not one to use really big, fancy, complicated words, like . . . like . .
Irene: Like “metamorphosis”?
Me: Yeah. Wait. Irene, you know what metamorphosis means.
Irene: Oh, yeah.

Off to Philadelphia!

World Meeting of Families-SM

Hope to see you there!

My speech is Friday at 11:45. The official title is “Go Forth: Evangelization and the Global Community” but the title of the talk I’m actually giving is: “Swimming in the Dark: Spreading the Good News When You’re Feeling So Bad.”

Here’s a nice eyewitness account from my sister Devra, who was at Mass with the Pope in DC yesterday. And if you haven’t heard it yet, he stopped in to visit the Little Sisters of the Poor. A nice counterpoint to Obama’s classless choice of dissident Catholic guests as a welcoming committee.

Okay, wish us luck! It’s going to be a long drive with an angry baby, but I know it’s going to be wonderful once we get there. If you’ve written to me and haven’t heard back, I’ve been kind of hung up on preparations and sick kids, so I hope to get caught up on correspondence next week. Thanks for your patience.

10 rules while I’m in Wichita

kids on pier

Far from this opera for evermore. Actually just for the weekend, for the Midwest Catholic Family Conference!

My kids have been extra, extra squirrelly the last few days, and I’ve had to make a few new rules, which I can only hope they will abide by while I am gone:

  • No spreading peanut butter on balloons.
  • No snapping while saying the rosary.
  • No sucking on the dog’s tail.
  • No more calling Donald Trump.
  • No propping ladders against the house to spy on your brothers while they do . . . whatever it is they do in their room.
  • No more saying, “Or IS it?!?” every time I say something is something.
  • No putting the gerbil in the Cheerios box while you’re cleaning out his cage. At least not until everyone’s done with breakfast.
  • No taunting, harassing, or otherwise impeding the progress of people learning how to use nasal spray.
  • Seriously, no more calling Donald Trump, you guys.

And the greatest of these is:

  • No singing Mulan songs in the voice of William Shatner.

These are, of course, rules for my kids, but you might want to consider adopting them for yourself. Also, no opening an email to me with “Attached you will find a copy of Heaven and Hell by Swedenborg (original text in Latin, translated to English)” in lieu of the customary: “Howdy! Attached you will find a copy of Heaven and Hell by Swedenborg (original text in Latin, translated to English).”

Manners, manners!

Hope to see some of you in Wichita! And I would be so grateful for prayers for easy travel, and for an easy time for my husband back home, who will have all ten kids, and their snapping, and their peanut butter balloons.

Will I see you in Wichita?

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One thing I gave short shrift to in my book is the idea of the contraceptive mentality. Where did the phrase come from, what did it originally mean, how is it used most often today, and how much should you be freaking out about it right now?

I’ll be talking about all those things in Wichita in a few weeks at the Midwest Catholic Family Conference. I’m thrilled to be joining a truly illustrious group of speakers and presenters, including Tim Staples, Pia di Solenni, and Matt Maher.  I’ll also be giving one of my favorite talks: “Beautiful Stranger: Making Contact with the Mother of God” — about how a non-Marian person like me learned to know, love, and run to Mary, grubby hands, snot nose and all.

The conference runs August 7-9 and there is still time to register. I can’t wait to meet all my midwest friends in real life!

My speaking schedule for 2015

I’ve finally updated my speaker’s page to include my schedule for this year! It includes:

Midwest Catholic Family Conference, August 7-9 in Wichita, KS “The Contraceptive Mentality: What it is, what it’s not, and why you probably shouldn’t sweat it” and one other talk, tbd

World Meeting of Families – Friday, September 25; Breakout session address “Go Forth”: Evangelization and the Global Community

Diocese of Syracuse, NY  Women’s Conference   November 7, 2015  – “Contagious Joy”

Are you looking for a speaker for your church, conference, event, group, retreat, gathering, or ladies sodality fight club? Let’s chat. simchafisher[at]gmail[dot]com.

I’m speaking at the World Meeting of Families!

Good grief, I totally forgot to tell you!ermahgerd

Don’t ask me how, why, or how, but they asked me to give a presentation at one of the break-out sessions of the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia in 2015. My fellow Catholic Patheosi Diana von Glahn and Greg Popcak will be there, too!

Look, I’m on the list and everything. Uhh, you may have to scroll down a bit, down to page fourteen, during the lunch hour on the last day, which is where they totally feature the crowd-grabbers. You’ll see it says that my topic is “Go Forth: Evangelization and the Global Community.” I think you’ll agree that this title, while certainly guaranteed to attract attention, sucks. I’m pretty sure that that’s not the title I submitted, but then again, I’m pretty sure I left my turkey sandwich on the kitchen counter, and where is it now, eh?

So, youse  guys gotta help me come up with a better title. Remember, it has to do with families and evangelization, and it has to be about something that I can at least pretend to know about for about forty minutes, and the Pope is totally going to be there. Go!