Pretend you’re Starbucks.

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So far, I have met zero Christians who are mad at Starbucks. My Facebook feed has, however, been overrun by Christians who don’t care what Starbucks puts on its cups, and are embarrassed by the few noisy meat heads who say they feel persecuted by having to drink their $11 lattes out of a red cup rather than a red cup with a light red reindeer on it.

Which leads me to believe that this is one of those Big Fat Nothing stories, and the more noise we make about denouncing it, the closer to Something the story becomes. Cameramen at ballgames turn away when there’s a streaker on the field, so let’s do the same, eh?

I do wonder, though, what you would do if you were Starbucks, and you really did, for whatever reason, want to make “the holiday season” (Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa/What Have You) more pleasant or meaningful for the world. Let’s say you have tons of money and nothing but good intentions. What gesture would you make, big or small? Could be something commercial, or something for your customers, something for your employees, something secret, something global, or whatever. What would you do?

Best answers will be read on the air this evening at 5 Eastern, as I chat with Mark Shea on his show Connecting the Dots. You can listen to the show live on Breadbox Media here. I’m Mark’s co-host every Monday, and you can hear podcasts of previous shows with me and Marks four other co-hosts (one each weekday) here.

Bagels from Heaven, very imperfect contrition, and conversations with the dead

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These are all topics we discussed yesterday during Mark Shea’s radio show,Connecting the Dots, where I am a co-host every Monday. I keep forgetting to remind people about this show, but it’s lots of fun! Here is a podcast of yesterday’s show, where we answered reader’s questions, including “Should we pray for the conversion of Satan?”

The Stupids Get On Board the Potty Train

Sorry for the bloggy silence lately! Lots of writing deadlines coming up (if you could spare a prayer I do a good job, I’d appreciate it very much!), plus birthday parties, doctor appointments, potty training, and July 4th (which we’re having at our house, and which is bringing out the Marney in me).

Maybe you’re wondering where I was on Monday, during my radio spot with Mark Shea. Well, I was lying down, because I forgot it was Monday. Sorry. It wasn’t because I didn’t feel like talking about gay marriage, honest! But I wasn’t heartbroken that I missed that opportunity, either. Anyway, you can hear podcasts of Mark’s shows here. He has four other co-hosts, and they’re so fancy, they know what day it is.

Speaking of radio, Jennifer Fulwiler was kind enough to invite me back on her Sirius XM radio show for a segment tomorrow (Thursday the 2nd) sometime around 2:15 eastern. (You can find podcasts of Jen’s show here, including the show where I explained how the Church is like a TARDIS.)

Oh, you want to hear more about potty training? Sure, fine. All you have to do is wait until your kid is 3-1/2 and hanging obscenely out of her size 6 diapers.

This is the advantage of having ten children. I don't even think, "This doesn't bother me, because I know I have good reasons for doing things the way I do them." I just think, "Yep, I'm a bad parent. Oh well. Hey, maybe she'll give me some of her candy!"

(Via Sanctimommy.)This is the advantage of having ten children. I don’t read things like this and think, “This doesn’t bother me, because I know I have good reasons for doing things the way I do them.” I just think, “Yep, I’m a bad parent. Oh well. Hey, maybe she’ll give me some of her candy!”

Then you spend six weeks loudly moaning and groaning about how disgusting diapers are. This does not require acting lessons.

Then you wait until your teenager daughter goes on summer vacation, wave $20 in front of her face, and arm her with a pack of My Little Pony panties, three pounds of assorted bribe candy, a new potty shaped like a pink ladybug, and a giant “surprise present” (fittingly, a water table) to be earned as a grand prize for when the kid not only uses the potty regularly, but stops bursting into tears when we insist that she dump it out herself. It took maybe a week, but miss soggy bottom is all potty trained now, and I didn’t have to clean up any puddles of anything. Ta dah!

The general rule for potty training is: you can potty train them when they’re ready, or you can potty train them until they’re ready, but either way, it won’t happen until they’re ready. (In our case, Benny was ready, but she didn’t know she was ready; hence the disparaging remarks and the candy.)

Well, bye! And remember, as a married woman you are now required to contribute on an adult level. And bring a serving spoon, not a soup spoon. A serving spoon!

 

On the radio with Jen Fulwiler today!

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Around 1:20 eastern, I’ll be on the great Jennifer Fulwiler’s SiriusXM radio show.   With an eye to the approach of mother’s day, we’ll be talking about how important it is for all you ladies to follow one rigid, clearly-defined plan to achieve Perfect Catholic Motherhood. OR WILL WE?

Also, I keep meaning to remind you that I am on the radio every Monday from 5-6 PM eastern, with Mark Shea with his show, Connecting the Dots. All the shows are archived, and you can listen to podcasts here.

Hope you can tune in!

On the radio today: ERRYTHING

I blame the baby!

I blame the baby!

I’m not gonna lie to you: ever since I had the baby, if you took all of my thoughts and put them in a bag and shook it hard, nothing would happen. Because the bag would be empty! Nothin’ in my noggin.

Which is not to say that I’m going to stop talking. Today, just for de heck of it, Mark Shea is going to humor me and let me ruin an entire hour of his radio show, Connecting the Dots, by talking about . . . errything! I already have a long list of topics, but as my grandmother always used to say, more is more. So call in to join us at 1-855-949-1380.

Listen live here from 5-6 eastern. You can also hear podcasts of previous shows here.

5-6 PM Eastern! Listen live here at Real Life Radio.

Hope you can join us, and maybe call in. 1-855-949-1380

connecting the dots

Mark has a different co-host each day, Weekdays at 5PM EST
Saturday at 8AM EST;  Sunday at 10PM EST

Mark Shea’s “Connecting the Dots” takes a look at everything from pork to pyrotechnics as we explore this delightful, tragic, ordinary, extraordinary, sinful, and redeemed world through eyes of Catholic faith and seek to live as intentional disciples of Jesus Christ in his one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church.

New radio show! Connecting the Dots with Mark Shea and me AND…

connecting the dots

. . . Tom McDonald, Dale Ahlquist, Jason Stellman, and Steven Greydanus. Mark’s new radio show, Connecting the Dots, airs on Real Life Radio from 5-6:00 PM Eastern, five days a week, and I’m thrilled to announce that I’ll be co-hosting with Mark on Mondays. You can listen live online here.  About the show:

Mark Shea’s “Connecting the Dots” takes a look at everything from pork to pyrotechnics as we explore this delightful, tragic, ordinary, extraordinary, sinful, and redeemed world through eyes of Catholic faith and seek to live as intentional disciples of Jesus Christ in his one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church.

The weekly schedule: Monday: Simcha Fisher
Tuesday: Tom McDonald
Wednesday: Dale Ahlquist
Thursday: Jason Stellman
Friday: Steven Greydanus

This is going to be a good one! It is a call-in show, so I hope you can join in. P.S. I have no idea what we are going to be talking about.

Damien and I be chatting with Mark Shea on Radio Maria this evening!

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Mark has the details:

Fellow Patheosi and National Catholic Register blogger and all around Catholic pants expert Simcha Fisher and her rambunctious crew will be on the radio with me today at 6 PM Eastern talking about all things Christmassy (and maybe Hannukkahy too).

To listen to Catholic and Enjoying Live! on line go here at 6:00 PM EDT. The show is live, so feel free to call in at 1–866–333–6279 and you can chat.  And if you want to hear archived shows interviewing such folk as Sherry Weddell, Brandon Vogt, Steven Greydanus, Tom McDonald, Dale Ahlquist, Tricia Bolle, Kevin O’Brien, and Elizabeth Stoker-Bruenig, go here.

I literally can not think of a literally better way you could spend an hour of your Christmas eve, and I mean that literally. Would love to chat if you want to call in!

I’ll be on Radio Maria’s “From the Rooftops” Wednesday morning

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Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers was tons of fun to talk to last time, when we discussed NFP and my book. Tomorrow at 11 Eastern, we’ll be discussing various issues that crop up in marriage and family life. Okay, fine, I don’t actually know what we’ll be talking about! Not vaccines, though!

You can listen online here.  Hope you can tune in!

I’ll be live on Radio Maria Wednesday, 11 eastern

on the “From the Rooftops” show. Follow the link so you can listen live. Hope you can tune in!