[L]et’s make a distinction here. Christ and the saints exhort us to deny ourselves, to voluntarily turn away from the lure of physical comforts, to sell all we have to follow Him. He wants us to learn that we have a choice: to give ourselves over to the demands of the flesh, or to master the flesh and try, instead, to satisfy our spiritual hunger and thirst.
Christ and the saints did not exhort us to deny others, to prevent other people from enjoying physical comforts. He did not tell us to make the choice for other people. Instead, He told us, over and over and over again, to feed His sheep. And that’s what the saints did: they fed people. Yes, with plain old physical food, that poor people could eat with their bodily mouths and digest with their earthbound bellies.
Ann Coulter to Jesus: Fix Bethlehem First!
People keep telling me that I don’t understand Ann Coulter’s tone: that she speaks tongue in cheek, deliberately exaggerating her point so as to make us think.
Well, here is what I think about her piece Ebola Doc’s Condition Downgraded to Idiotic. As is often the case with a Coulter piece, it’s hard to tell what her main thesis is, so I’ll just focus on one paragraph:
If Dr. Brantly had practiced at Cedars-Sinai hospital in Los Angeles and turned one single Hollywood power-broker to Christ, he would have done more good for the entire world than anything he could accomplish in a century spent in Liberia. Ebola kills only the body; the virus of spiritual bankruptcy and moral decadence spread by so many Hollywood movies infects the world.
It seems that she believes that Dr. Brantly, who is a medical doctor, has some mysterious power as a Christian to evangelize “Hollywood power-brokers,” and it’s only his vanity (“Christian narcissism,” she calls it) that sent him off to the third world with his medical supplies, rather than — what, trotting up to Quentin Tarrantino’s gate, introducing himself as an M.D., and suggesting that Mr. Tarantino repent? And this would have been more effective than ministering to the dying in Liberia.
Let me explain something. The man is a medical doctor. He heals people’s bodies. He apparently felt the call to go far, far out of his way to minister to people in horrible need of his expert help. This is, in general, how good people operate: rather than always doing what is obvious or easy, and rather than doing something they are neither suited, nor trained, nor able to do, they do what they think they are being called to do.
Was Dr. Brantly truly called to travel to Africa and work with ebola patients? Who knows? That’s between him and God. But Coulter seems to believe that the very act of stepping across the border marks an unforgivable sin of . . . pride, I guess? Show-offiness?
But that short paragraph of hers contains a second, even more hideous idea. Coulter says,
Ebola kills only the body; the virus of spiritual bankruptcy and moral decadence spread by so many Hollywood movies infects the world.
Yes, isn’t that just like those benighted third world ninnies? So obsessed with this childish, petty desire to stay alive. Why can’t they think about important matters, like the spiritual state of people watching movies in America? No, all the time it’s, “Wah, wah, my eyes are bleeding” with them. Ugh, foreigners.
Here’s the deal, for anyone who thinks Colter is kinda sorta mean, but kinda sorta has a point: yes, it is true that there is such a thing as missionaries who do more harm than good. Yes, it is true that some people claim to be serving God, but really they’re just trying to make themselves look good.
Is there any evidence that Dr. Brantly is guilty of any of that? I honestly don’t know. I haven’t been following the story. Coulter doesn’t give any evidence in this piece that she knows any more than I do from reading headlines.
Coulter is playing to the crowd who always say, “Fix America first.” And I always say, “Why?” Are Americans more important than citizens of other countries? Is their suffering more meaningful? If we evangelize them, does their conversion give less glory to God than the conversion of an American? If they die of starvation and disease, do their families grieve less than the families of dead Americans? And if not, then what could possibly be wrong with going to help them in the way that you know how?
Xenophobia is just racism for people who think big. There’s nothing noble about turning your back on people who suffer, even if they’re people who speak a different language or live in places with silly names. If we were all just supposed to hunker down and play to the home crowd, then the apostles themselves were off to a pretty bad start, gallavanting all over Greece and Ethiopia, Persia and Turkey. Didn’t they realize there were still some people back home — their own countrymen — who could have used their help?
For that matter, why couldn’t Jesus just stay put? I guess he never heard of Fix Bethlehem First. Instead, He had drag Himself all the way to Jerusalem, and then climb all the way up on a hill, and then all the way up on that cross, as if to say, “Look at me! I’m saving everybody!” And meanwhile, I suppose His mother and his friends had to think about the hotel bills, the travel expenses . . .
Talk about a Christian narcissist. Yeah, Dr. Brantly is just like that. What an idiot.
At the Register: A New (Old) Way to Apologize
The teacher started scheduling weekly “clean-ups.”
Students relished in the opportunity to admit wrongdoing, share intent to change, and restore friendships. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing. They walked out stiff and uneasy, and returned with bright smiles on their faces.
Sound familiar? Read the rest at the Register.
My upcoming speaking gigs
I keep meaning to add this to my speaker’s page. In the mean time, here is where I will be in the next few months:
- Mary’s Shelter Summer Soiree at the Frederickburg Expo Center in VA, August, 23, speaking on what pregnant women in crisis really need
- St. Joseph Catholic Family Center, St. Marie Parish in Manchester, NH, September 26, speaking on how I got to know Mary as a real mother
- St. Paul Street Evangelization Ekklesia Project at St. Mary Catholic Church in Williamston, Michigan on October 19, speaking on the contraceptive mentality
- College of St. Mary Magdalen in Warner, NH: Parents’ Weekend in November, speaking about amazing things (tbd!)
Hope you can make it to one of these events! A little of this and a little of that.
At the Register: Chemo While Pregnant? L’Chaim!
PIC pregnant woman on chemo
Pregnant women have been successfully treating their cancer in the second and third trimesters without harming their babies for over twenty years — and yet this fact is far from common knowledge. When we hear that a woman has cancer while pregnant, the first thought that comes to mind is that she has a horrible choice to make. Why is this?
Read the rest at the Register.
What would Balzac say?
PIC ape man
[W]hen the social-media specialist for a private Provo-based English language learning center wrote a blog explaining homophones, he was let go for creating the perception that the school promoted a gay agenda.
Tim Torkildson says after he wrote the blog on the website of his employer, Nomen Global Language Center, his boss and Nomen owner Clarke Woodger, called him into his office and told him he was fired.
As Torkildson tells it, Woodger said he could not trust him and that the blog about homophones was the last straw.
“Now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality,” Woodger complained, according to Torkildson, who posted the exchange on his Facebook page.
This just doesn’t seem right to me. Isn’t there anything in the penal code to prevent this kind of thing? By firing this teacher, the school is being downright niggardly with its resources. If this were any other country, they’d have more sense, and would offer the poor man a faggot for his troubles (of course that would likely cause angina). If I were in the school’s position, I’d probably want to contain the situation — you know, stick my finger in that dyke asap. Either that, or install a spillcock to relieve the pressure.
I’m so proud/horrified (#13 is my favorite)
The other day, this appeared on the bathroom door:
It was written by my 12-year-old son, who is both very twelve, and very much my son.
Can’t quite make it out? You can either walk away in blissful ignorance, or you can read on, and prepare yourself for the next generation of Fishers. Here is what it says:
RULES FOR POOPING IN A STAIN-FREE MANNER
1. Open bathroom door and (using feet) walk in.
2. Close and lock bathroom door.
3. Walk to sink, reach across and turn on light.
4. Walk to toilet.
5. Open lid of toilet.
6. Pull down pants and underwear.
7. Place butt on toilet seat (commonly known as sitting).
8. Concentrate the muscles in the lower region (butt) until [redacted]. Repeat as many times as necessary.
9. Get wad of toilet paper and wipe away remaining poo. Repeat.
10. Reach for silver thingy on side and pull down (commonly known as “flushing”)
11. Walk to sink and turn on.
12. Rub hands with soap and put under sink until clean.
13. Wipe wet hands on pants.
14. Walk to door and open.
15. Walk out.
Congratulations, YOU POOPED!
TAKE ONE CERTIFICATE
IF YOU HAVE COMPLETED ALL ACTIONS[I POOPED AND I’M PROUD]
I am not sure what, in particular, brought this on. But I noticed that no one has taken a certificate yet.
At the Register: Prayer doesn’t make things happen
I agree, sort of.
We don’t pray for a cure for cancer and find a vial full of miraculous medicine on the table. We don’t pray to reach the moon on Christmas Eve and find a functional rocket ship waiting under the tree in the morning.
Praying doesn’t make things happen. Praying makes things possible.
Read the rest at the Register.
Little kids, big fair, no tears
(This post originally ran in 2010. We’re planning on hitting the fair this week, so I thought I’d rerun it. I’m enjoying the old pictures of my kids, all shorter and chubbier, and my husband hairier!)
The fair! Who doesn’t love the fair?
I’m talking about a country fair, with sheep and cows and pigs and rabbits, and horses pulling stuff, quilts and strawberry preserves and giant gourds on display, and a giant carnival with flashing lights, grinding gears, horrible games, greasy food, blaring music, shrieking kids, and toothless carneys. Who, I ask you, does not love the fair?
If you’re taking your kids to the fair for the first time, you are going to hate it.
It will be, second only to the birth itself, the most miserable, sticky, disappointing, and ludicrously expensive day of your life as parents. You will go home wondering why you just paid hundreds of dollars to make your kids this dirty and unhappy.
Also, you’re fairly sure you had eight children when you left the house, and now you only have six.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. We kept trying and failing to have fun at the fair, and eventually we worked out some guidelines. And this year, it finally happened: we actually had a good time! All of us, even the wimp, the show-off, the escape artist, the malcontent, the spoilsport, the worrier, and everyone.
Well, the baby actually hated it, but she kind of hates everything right now.
So here is how we managed:
MONEY
Start saving money last year. I’m serious — this is an expensive day. You have to just accept that it costs what it costs, and there is really no point in making the effort if you’re not going to go whole hog. Be prepared to shell out for admission (and possibly parking), ride tickets or passes, food, souvenirs, and possibly for special rides or shows — plus emergency cash for something unexpected, like bug spray or a bail bond.
And do some research. There are usually a few cheaper days and a few expensive days, so work out exactly how much it will cost to do everything you want to do. I recommend going on an unlimited pass or bracelet day. We tried individual tickets, and it was not only more expensive, but made us very anxious, because we had to pace ourselves and conserve tickets.
WEATHER
Check the weather report! A wonderful day can be ruined by clothes that are too hot or too cold. Once we went on a rainy day, and lost a whole hour off our “unlimited” ride time. And once we went on such a hot day, everyone just wanted to sit on a bench and suck down lemonade. Which we could have done at home for much cheaper, with slightly less of that nauseating barnyard smell.
Bring sunblock and lots and lots of drinks. The screaming, walking around, and the general excitement will make your kids even thirstier than they normally would be after a day outdoors. There will be drinks for sale, but they will be EXPENSIVE. Have I mentioned this? It’s not because I’m a cheapskate; it’s because I don’t want you to have to tell a weeping 7-year-old girl, “I know I said you could ride the pony, but Mama spent her last $6 on your fourth lemonade!”
GETTING LOST
Make sure your kids know what to do if they get lost. We tell them to first yell and yell (in case the rest of the family is right around the corner) and then they can go to someone who looks like a nice mother, and say, “I’m lost – can you help me find my parents?”
Make sure your kids know their parents’ actual names (a surprising number assume Daddy’s name is “Daddy”), and what their parents are wearing (my daughter once described me as “the one with the haircut”). Dress your kids in distinctive clothing and write down descriptions of everyone (“black sweatpants, a Jack Kemp T-shirt, and a homemade haircut”) in case you need other people to help you find them, and are too flustered to remember what they look like. UPDATE: We now take photos of the kids with the cell phone before we leave. Easy peasy.
The earlier in the day you go, the smaller the crowds will be. Know which kids are likely to bolt or wander away, and give them a special lecture beforehand. (We didn’t need one of these until kid #7 could walk, and then we needed it desperately.)
PACING
Plan for variety, especially if you need to stretch your money. Do something thrilling, then something where you sit down, then something where you wander around, then a snack, then something for the older kids, then something for the younger kids, etc. Save something primo for last, so when it’s almost time to go, you can say, “Okay, the fair is over . . . but not before we do such-and-such!” Makes your exit much happier.
Bring the roomiest stroller you have. The fair is completely exhausting for little ones, so kids who’ve outgrown the stroller might need a ride. Also, it’s helpful to have somewhere to stash all those drinks that I really, really, really recommend you bring.
FOOD
In order to make the effort and expense worthwhile, you will want to be there for several hours — which means you will be there during a meal time. I recommend packing a picnic for the meal, and spending your money on snacks, instead. Kids don’t appreciate an $8 steak sub, but they will always remember getting a cloud of cotton candy or a caramel apple with rainbow sprinkles.
We generally arrive at lunch time, but then go on rides right away before eating. The kids would have been too excited to eat at first, and would have just pecked at the meal, and then begged for snacks later. After a few rides, they were hungry happy to take a break for sandwiches and chips.
STICKINESS
Succumb to the stickiness. Your kids will be just disgusting by the end of the day: sweaty, sugary, dusty, and, yes, possibly throw-uppy (although that never happened to us, miraculously). It’s a good idea to have them wear clothes you don’t care about. Be smart about timing: they can ride the Neck Snapper, but not right after eating one of Doody’s Famous Fried Pickles.
Bring a change of clothes for the youngest kids, and plastic bags. Trust me on this. Sooner or later, you will be stuck holding something that desperately needs to be wrapped up in a plastic bag.
EXPECTATIONS (and aftermath)
Discuss expectations ahead of time. Before you even enter the grounds, let them know what they will be doing, and what they will not — and stick to it. How many rides can they expect to go on? Will you be playing games, buying a meal, buying snacks, buying balloons, buying toys, riding the pony, seeing a show, seeing the animals? Especially if you have lots of kids with various desires, just winging it will lead to someone feeling disappointed. (We skip the games of chance altogether, and just let them pick out a souvenir. Not as exciting, but cheaper, and less heartache.)
My husband and I discuss our expectations, too: we remind each other that our #1 goal is to give the kids a super fun day, and that we will both try our hardest to be patient and generous, and do our best to give the kids what they want (within reason). A day of fun is no time to teach lessons. It’s okay to be over-indulgent once in a while, as long as you’re not spoiling them to pieces on most other days.
Also, this may sound silly, but unless you’re getting home late at night, it’s a good idea to have some mild treat waiting for them at home — lollipops or a special movie. Kids are tricky, especially if they’ve been looking forward to something for weeks– and now it’s over. You will expect them to be grateful and satisfied, but they will likely feel exhausted, let down, and cranky.
So go easy on them. Tomorrow, you can go back to the old routine, but it’s nice to do whatever you need to do to keep things pleasant today. And once the kiddies are in bed, you can have a nice little drink and put your feet up.
And for goodness’ sake, take better pictures than I did. Never before have so many knees, ears, and backs of heads been captured for posterity.
There! Now you can go to the fair.
Playing catch-up
Today, I PROMISE, I will post the names of the winners for day 5 of the contest. Sorry for the delay! I won’t bore you with details, but we had a nutso weekend, and I’m still scrambling to get caught up. Please be patient as I get all the shipping and everything squared away!
As far as I know, there were no NFP Awareness Week-related homocides, so I call that a success. Thanks for joining in the fun, everybody. And don’t forget, the Baby-Comp contest is still open until 11:30 AM Eastern today!