At the Register: This Law Is Not Pro-Life

We all want to get tough on people who hurt babies. But this new law in Tennessee is the exact wrong way to go about it. This law is not pro-life.

I was also relieved beyond belief to hear that “risks of narcotics to newborns have been exaggerated, according to medical authorities who say that withdrawal symptoms, if they occur, can be treated with no long-term effects.”  Via the New York Times, here ismore information from National Advocates for Pregnant Women. Obviously we’re not hunky dory with the idea of drug addicts raising babies, but I was under the impression that a baby born addicted to drugs was doomed. Not so.

Update on Robin’s Goatmilk Soap business!

Time for an update! Robin is thrilled and grateful for the wild success of her GoFundMe campaign. She is working on assembling supplies and starting an Etsy shop. In the mean time, I would be so grateful if you could follow up your material generosity with some prayers for peace and encouragement as she launches this new venture!

I will keep you updated — and again, thank you so much for all of your help.

****

We’re looking at mid-June and the soaps I plan on having are in the list below.  Yes, some did change, based on new formulations of fragrances from my fragrance supplier, Bramble Berry, and because of what I understand people preferring now.  I have yet to name a few of my soaps, and you can be assured that, yes, one will have a German named.  Ha!  Of course!

1.) Baby Yourself soap, with yummy oils that are SO GOOD for the skin.  I will be INFUSING calendula into my olive oil for this one – read for yourself why it is amazing. http://personalcaretruth.com/2011/02/calendula-in-skin-care/ I am guessing mothers of babies and people who just want a yummy for your skin soap will be buying this one.
2.) Sunshine soap with yuzu and calendula, my only soap that will have added color because it absolutely is the sunshiniest, cheeriest soap I have ever seen.  I can not wait to make this one.  Added color and fragrance oil.
3.) Super Gardener’s soap, loaded with good stuff.  Natural clays and essential oils, calendula, coffee grounds, kelp, a SUPER amazing soap that I am excited to make.  This will be a favorite, I am sure.  no fragrance oils or colors.
4.)  Lavender soap, a combination of lavender essential oil AND lavender fragrance oil (needed to anchor the lavender and lavender essential oil would run me about $40.00, plus shipping per 24 bar batch if I used it alone.  Essential oils are expensive.  I had to consider prices, even with the funds to start, for future batches.  I have to be able to afford the ingredients in the future, so no point in making something super expensive now that I can not continue. 5.)
5.) 100% goat milk unscented soap, no added color or fragrance
6.)  An ocean-y type soap, scented with fragrance oil, no added color. (is described on the site as “
Salty marine notes and fresh rain mingle with lily of the valley, jasmine, leafy greens, pine and musk.  Experience the beautifully mastered essence of the thunder of waves crashing against the shore, the salty air in your face and the soft crunch of seashells beneath your feet. Imagine yourself at sea, with your face being lightly sprinkled with ocean spray.”
7.) Whipped shea butter that is whipped with jojoba and vitamin e and lavender essential oil.  This was *extremely* popular last time I made it at the old house.  I will only have a LIMITED number of these, as I am using cobalt blue glass containers that I bought several years ago from Sweetcakes, an online distributor, and they are not cheap!  I believe I will have 20.  Very scrumptious stuff, to be sure.

Next Year in Jerusalem

Have you taught your children that, while Christmas is very important, it’s really Easter that’s the greatest feast of the year? Do they buy it?

When I was little, this point of doctrine was obvious: All during Holy Week, my father could be heard practicing the Exsultet to chant at the Easter vigil, as my mother fried and ground up liver and onions in preparation for the Passover seder. The fragrant schmaltzy steam of the chicken soup, the palm leaves, bags of jelly beans for Easter Sunday and the boxes of jellied fruit slices for the seder—these were all equally essential for Holy Week. We drooled over the growing heaps of luscious Passover food as we suffered the final pangs of Lenten sacrifices. My mother covered her head to bless the candles at the start of the seder, and then a few hours later, hovered over us in the pew to save us from singeing our hair on the Easter candles. I can’t imagine eating leftover gefilte fish without a chocolate bunny on the side; and I can’t imagine hearing “Christ our light!” without echoes of “Dayenu!” – “It would have been enough!” still lingering, both exultant prayers of thanksgiving to the God who always gives more than we deserve.

You might be pardoned for imagining some kind of schizophrenic clash of cultures in my house, but that’s not how it was. My parents did struggle to synthesize the incongruities between Catholicism and Judaism (and for a hilarious read, check out my mother’s account of interfaith communications). My parents were raised secular Jews, and went through a long and strange exodus through the desert together, and eventually converted to Christianity—and then, when I was about 4, to Catholicism.

But for us kids, there was no incongruity: Growing up Hebrew Catholics just meant having much more FUN on Easter than anyone else. My Christian friends wore straw hats, ate jelly beans, and maybe dyed eggs if their mothers could abide the mess. We, on the other hand, whooped it up for an entire weekend as we prepared for and celebrated the Passover seder, the ceremonial feast which Jesus ate with his disciples at the Last Supper. At our seder, which we held on Holy Saturday, there was chanting and clapping, giggling over the mysterious and grisly ceremonial roasted egg and horseradish root, glass after glass of terrible, irresistible sweet wine,

special silver and china that only saw the light of day once a year, pillows for the chairs so we could “recline,” and the almost unbearable sweetness as the youngest child asked, “Why is this night different from all other nights?”

It was different because, every single year on that night, there were laughter and tears. The laughter was always more: I waited with bated breath for my father, after drinking his third or fourth ceremonial glass of wine, to trip over the Psalm and say, “What ails thee, o mountains, that you skip like rams? And o ye hills, like lung yams?” And then there are the tears, when we remember the slaying of the first born, and a drop of wine slips from our fingertips onto the plate.

Most Catholics are familiar with the idea that Moses prefigured Christ: Baby Moses was spared from Pharaoh’s infanticide, as baby Jesus was spared from Herod’s; Moses rescued his people from slavery, as Christ rescues us all from sin and death; the angel of death passed over the houses whose doors were marked with the blood of the sacrificial lamb, just as death passes over the souls of those marked with the sign of baptism. Moses brought the Jews on a generation-long journey through the desert, during which God showed constant mercy and forgiveness, and the people demonstrated constant faithlessness and ingratitude—a journey which is mirrored in the lives of everyone. And Moses eventually brought the people within sight of the promised land of Canaan, as Christ has promised He will lead us to the gates of Heaven.

I will always remember my father pausing in the middle of the ceremony, and holding up the broken afikomen matzoh to the light of the candles. When he had the attention of all the children he would ask, “Do you see the light, shining through the holes? Do you see it?

It is pierced, just like Jesus’ hands, feet and sides were pierced. And do you see the stripes? Just like Jesus was striped by the whip of the Romans.” And then we would replace the matzoh in the middle compartment of a silken pouch. This special pouch held three sheets of matzoh (a Trinity?)—and the middle one would be hidden away (as if in a tomb?). Until it was taken out and consumed, we couldn’t have dessert. All the sweets that were waiting in the other room—the chocolate and honey sponge cake, the fruit slices, the nuts and blonde raisins, the halvah and the macaroons—all of these had to wait until that middle piece was found and found (resurrected?) again.

But what always stopped me in my tracks is something my father discovered one year. Imagine, he told us, the Hebrews in their homes, painting their doorpost and lintel with the blood of the lamb as the Lord commanded. They would raise their arm to brush the blood on the top of the door, and then down again to dip again into the blood; and then up to the left, to mark the post on one side, and then to the right … does this sound familiar?

Act it out: up, down, left, right.  It’s very possible that, thousands of years before Calvary, the children of God were already making the sign of the cross.

Make of it what you will. At our house, what we made of it was that God loves us, has always loved us, and always will love us. “I have been young, and I have grown old, and I have never seen the righteous man forsaken or his children wanting for bread” (Ps 37:25). We are all the chosen people, and God speaks to us each in our own language, through our own traditions.

And I believe that he laughs and weeps along with us when we say with a mixture of bitterness and hope at the end of the seder, “Next year in Jerusalem.”

————-
[This post originally ran in Register in 2011 – re-posted at the request of several readers]

At the Register: A Little About Catechesis of the Good Shepherd

I’m working on a fuller article for the future, but here is a little introduction to one of the greatest gifts we’ve encountered in our parish: Catechesis of the Good Shepherd.

Suddenly I really want to be a train conductor

BAM.

Maria Divine Mercy Officially Condemned, Duh.

In case the vapidly hysterical tone and nakedly heretical content weren’t persuasive enough …

PIC two comets will collide prophecy meme

 

the semi-literate and painfully obviously phony visionary known as Maria Divine Mercy has been condemned by the Archdiocese of Dublin:

Archbishop Diarmuid Martin wishes to state that these messages and alleged visions have no ecclesiastical approval and many of the texts are in contradiction with Catholic theology.

These messages should not be promoted or made use of within Catholic Church associations.

Good. Not that anyone dumb enough to be duped will be smart enough to listen to the archdiocese.

Sometimes you come across bogus visionaries who appear sincere but genuinely insane. I block ‘em all the time on the Register.  This Maria Divine Mercy person, though, whoever she is, always came across as very cynical and calculating. Exploiting people’s fears is always awful, but doing it in the name of Our Lady is so incredibly odious and offensive.  Man, you do not want to mess around with God’s Mama. I suppose we should pray for the hoaxster, along with all the people she’s duped.

I also suppose we’re back to spotting Betty Grable Our Lady on grilled cheese sammiches.

PIC OL of Grilled Cheese

 

Somehow this seems preferable. There is something touching in the witness of a person who knows she is going to be mocked, but goes ahead and insists that Mary kinda came to her anyway, right on her plate. (Of course this particular sandwich sold on eBay for $28,000.)

My favorite detail about this relic is that it has a bite out of it! Ha. We need a Catholic version of McGruff the Crime Dog, who can go around sniffing out deviant mysticism, and biting it.  In fact, I volunteer, because I am hungry. Stupid diet.

At the Register: Show Your Weasel Spirit Who’s Boss

Ten tips for finishing Lent strong, you weasel!

The mailman must wonder . . .

What is the deal with these people?

We wonder, too, Mr. Mailman. We wonder, too.

Seven Frozen Takes, in which yes yes yes, Simcha sings “Let It Go”

 

–1–

As I may have mentioned, last night I sang everybody’s favorite song in the world that is easy to sing and that no one is at all tired of hearing, because Robin met (and beat!) the $4,000 mark for her soap-making enterprise.  I did practice, kind of a lot.  I’m telling you this now, because you definitely will not be able to tell.

 

–2–

Yesterday, I told the kids that if they did their evening chores really quickly, we would be able to watchFrozen, which they hadn’t seen yet. Note: my eight-year-old daughter was on kitchen duty last night. So this morning, I open the cabinet, and find this shoved in the back:

If you can’t tell, that is chili and sour cream.  A pot full of it, plus four bowls full of it.  And it smelled great at 6:15 a.m. after sitting out all night, oh yes it did.

 

–3–

I really liked the movie! I don’t think there was any homophiliac undertones — or if there were, they were the right ones:  hey, maybe you’re born with something that makes it really difficult to interact with other people; but the solution isn’t to just cut yourself off from life.  You’re lovable and valuable, and your job is to control and channel the thing that makes you different so that you become stronger.

Anyway, it could just as easily have been about being autistic, or artistic, or having a weird sense of humor, or whatever.  Things clearly went bad (for herself and everyone she cared about) when she just let her unbridled interior self go on a rampage, so I honestly don’t see what’s to argue with, here.

My only other commentary on this movie is: what did she eat when she was in her frozen castle? She can make ice skates and whatnot with her mind ice, but can she make hamburgers? What was the long-term plan there?

 

–4–

Despite what you will hear me warble, almost nothing bothers me more than being cold. I was blue and oxygen deprived when I was born, and my thyroid is stupid, and I am cold cold cold all the time. When I open the windows to catch a little bit of that sweet springtime breeze, I turn the heat on, because I do no to want to be cold, not even for one second. Well, now they know.

 

–5–

Benny was big-eyed throughout the whole movie, and periodically cried out, “Poor Elfa!  Poor Elfa!” and occasionally, “Poor mottster!” (What the heck was that snow monster for, anyway? They totally didn’t need him.) I thought it was funny that she couldn’t pronounce “Elsa,” which isn’t really hard to say. Then I remembered that I was teaching her the Greek alphabet for a parlor trick the other day.  Alpha! See, she is listening to me! Just not when I say, “Please stop punching Mama’s head, Benny.”

 

–6–

Now I’m just stalling.

 

–7–

And now I’m not.  Just remember, this hurts me more than it does you.

Well, if you think we’ve all suffered enough, why not drop a few bucks in Robin’s goatmilk soap fundraiser?  If we hit the $5,000 mark, I solemnly swear, with the internet as my witness, that I will never again record a video of me singing a power ballad for the purpose of raising money for a goatmilk soap fundraiser. What more could you possibly want?

At the Register: The Evil Child’s Guide to Holy Week

Parents say “Holy Week”; kids hear “Whatcha got?”