Shout your damnation

Marriage as an institution may be public, but the love between husband and wife is, by definition, private. You inside me. It does not get any more private than that. And yet this reality show is part of a push to turn marriage inside out—to publicly share and spotlight that most intimate of betrayals, infidelity.

And that is what makes my blood run cold: how public Mr. Gasby and his mistress have made their deeds. Why have they done this? Because they know the power of the word “destigmatize.”

Read the rest of my latest for America Magazine.


Image: modified detail of U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Stephen J. Otero

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7 thoughts on “Shout your damnation”

  1. This is just horrifying. Are there such things as social workers who intervene on behalf of abused elders, like with abused children? The poor wife cannot give legal consent to any of this, and is being shamelessly exploited for money and fame. It seems like a court action begging to happen.

  2. “I love my wife, but I can’t let her take away my life.” That is the saddest thing I have read in some time. That’s exactly what love does. All love. Any love. If you love, you give your life. How sad that he doesn’t know that, and that (I guess?) so many people don’t know that. I wonder what on earth they think love is?

  3. You know I love your writing and your thinking. This one is what my fearful, selfish heart needed to remember today. Thank you.

  4. How horrible and undignified the whole thing is. The poor wife – my grandmother had Alzheimer’s, with the accompanying confusion and disorientation, I remember how horrible it felt for her to be around people who always seemed new and unknown. And this poor woman has to share her house with a person whose identity she must be confused about.

  5. Really great, thank you. I especially like the part about the fear of being stigmatized. It is natural to recoil from pain, but Jesus shows us what to do after that! It reminded me of something Peter Kreeft once wrote about love: if we try to grab at the light, we darken it.

  6. Well put. This idea of openly reveling in one’s vices, of being fashionably “transgressive”, hunting for ever weirder and more disturbing taboos to flout, is a way of hammering home the domination of moral relativism as the established religion of the modern West. Not only can you not tell me how to live (fair enough), but you can’t take any position or offer any critique on *any* freely chosen moral act, by anyone. Who are YOU, anyway?
    For some, this total freedom from shame or criticism pertains most especially to what they do in regard to sex, and for others it pertains especially to what they do with money. Neither likes talk of moral obligation, community responsibility, or transcendent meaning concerning their chosen vices.

  7. Simcha, You are a great writer. I can get from the start of this article for America Magazine to the end in a straight logical line. Were you ever on a good debate team? Anyway, I agree with you totally. Marriage is private. So much of my love for my husband is private, even from our children. I agree with you about the shouting of things, that it de-stigmatizes the things.

    I am your fan.

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