Aw, But “Mary Did You Know?” is such a beautiful song!

Yeah, well.light heresyAnd Mary said:
“My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
even as he said to our fathers.” This song is fine as a conversation starter, but as a hymn, or as an expression of Catholic theology? Nyet. Check out Mark Shea’s point-by-point analysis of why this song is “a step forward for Evangelical culture, but a step backward for Catholic culture.”

Fifty Christmas presents our kids loved

We sure do buy a lot of presents around here. Today seems like a good time to talk about the ones that turned out to be good purchases — the ones our kids actually played with, and that didn’t fall apart right away, and that seemed worth the price.

All the links lead to products on Amazon. I’ve mentioned many a time, I get a small percentage of each sale made using one of the Amazon links on my page. These little bits of sales really add up, and help our family out tremendously!

We get a percentage of any sale made through Amazon, as long as you got to Amazon through using one of my links. So, for instance, if I say, “Hey, this nose pencil sharpener really turned my life around!” and you click on that link, you hate the nose pencil sharpener, you keep shopping, and you eventually order a diamond nose studinstead, I will get a percentage of the sale of the diamond nose stud. I will then use my Amazon credits to buy many more nose pencil sharpeners, because duh.

Here is our list, organized according to price, from “Stocking Stuffer” to “No Complaints Out Of You; We Got You Rotten Kids a Trampoline, Didn’t We?”  No remarks about our little Doctor Who problem. The pediatrician says it’s within the normal range and does not technically qualify as a disorder yet.

Note: a few of the prices may have changed in the few days it took me to put this list together! Everything is more or less the same, though.

  1. Dover Stained Glass Coloring Books
    dover stained glass
     $1.39 and up.
    Oh, so nice, and available in every imaginable theme for boys and girls. I love hanging these up in the windows, especially when it gets dark and bleak outside. Tip: color on both sides of the page, to make the colors more brilliant.
  2. Spock Ears
    spock ears
    $3.50
    These Spock Ears are Spock Ears that go on your regular ears.
  3. Strongbad decal
    strongbad decal
    $3.89
    You will need this for your car window or laptop or locker door if you ever break your . . . clavicus . . . majoris.
  4. Beatles Tin of Guitar Picks
    beatles tin
    $7.99
    As advertised. Hooray for songs with only four chords! Hooray for things that come in tins!
  5. 20-40X Lighted Pocket Microscope
    pocket microscope
    $9.89
    Portable and easy to use, runs on batteries so you can bring it outside and check out bugs and whatnot.
  6. Shake ‘n’ Go Racers
    shake and go car
    $12.98
    These go really fast — and they are powered by shaking, not batteries. The harder you shake them, the faster they zoom away when you put them down. Ingenious, tons of fun, and very durable.
  7. Car Keysbaby keys
    $13.15
    Babies are not supposed to suck on your real car keys because of the toxins or something, but car key toys are usually made out of plastic, which is no fun for babies. So these are made out of safe metal (with flat edges, so they can’t cut their gums), they are heavy and they rattle, and the keychain has different buttons that make various car noises — but it’s muffled, so not terribly intrusive. (We like a lot of the toys from the B. company. They hold up well and are designed with actual kids in mind.)
  8. Set of 20 Multicolored Sky Lanterns
    sky lanterns
    $13.30
    Fine, we haven’t actually used these yet. BUT I CAN’T WAIT. Maybe if you have aTangled fan in the house, this would be an exciting present.
  9. Greek Coin Replicas
    greek coin replicas
    $14.90
    I dunno, maybe your kids would want these. We have a kid who really likes owls, so he got something similar to these, a drachma coin made into a pendant from Etsy. Neat, unexpected little present.
  10. Groovy Girls dolls
    groovy girl
    $10.00-$15.00
    Smaller, soft, colorful dolls with cute hair and nice little outfits (the clothes don’t come off). Neither trashy nor simpering.
  11. Bananagrams
    bananagrams
    $10.95
    Sort of like free-form Scrabble, you race to build up a group of intersecting words, and whoever uses up their tiles first wins.  You can vary the rules to make it a quick or a long game, and you can easily introduce handicaps so adults can play with younger kids. I never mind playing a round or two of this game.
  12. Zoetrope Animation Toy
    zoetrope
    $12.90
    For the doodler of the house. Make a simple animated picture on a strip of paper, fit it inside the wheel, peek through the slots, and watch it move. A very old toy, simple and cool.
  13. Totoro lunch bag
    totoro lunch bag
    $12.99
    For the person in your house who really, really wants a Totoro lunch bag. This one is sturdy and made of soft, water-resistant fabric.
  14. Weeping Angel Earrings
    weeping angel earrings
    $11.99
    Don’t blink. Blink and they’ll be $12.01.
  15. TARDIS pendanttardis pendant
    $14.98
    Surprisingly heavy little piece of jewelry. A lot of the TARDIS pendants we looked at were half-TARDISes, which are only half as big on the inside. No fun at all.
  16. LEGO Wii games
    batman lego wii
    around $15.00
    We have Batman, Batman 2, LOTR, Star Wars Complete Sage and Clone Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Indiana Jones, both Harry Potters, and I forget what else. Everyone agrees that Batman 2 is the best. Tons of fun, not too too loud, and they are filled with cute little weird jokes and sight gags.  They involve fighting, but the people just fall apart into Lego pieces, so no gore.
  17. Butterfly Wings
    butterfly wings
    $15.29
    All of our girls want wings, but nothing is more tragic than when the metal bends and the wings flop. These wings don’t have frames. Instead, they have shoulder straps and finger loops, so you can flap nicely with your arms outstretched. Durable and pretty. They come in purple, pink, and orange, and are responsible for melting the hearts of many a playground mom.
  18. Wooden Pattern Blocks
    pattern blocks
    $15.99
    The right kid will find these endlessly fascinating. There are many versions. This Melissa and Doug set comes with a sturdy wooden box and several patterns to try to reproduce, or you can build your own designs.
  19. Snake Oil game
    snake oil
    $16.61
    A hilarious family game, also good for parties. Blogged about it here.
  20. Tournament Chess Set with Roll-Up Board
    chess set
    $16.99
    We were SO pleased with this set. It is HUGE, the board is very tough, and the pieces are big and heavy. Great product for the price, and portable.
  21. Kinetic Sand
    kinetic sand
    $17.69
    This stuff is awesome. You can squeeze it and shape it, or you can let it dribble out of your hands like . . . wet sand lace foam, or something. You can buy kits with molding toys, but cups and butter knives work fine.
  22. Wooden Family Doll Set
    wooden doll family
    $18.21
    Oh my gosh, these dolls don’t fall apart. Their arms and legs and heads don’t fall off, their hair doesn’t fall out, their clothes don’t unravel, and they don’t have creepy faces that make you want to hurl them across the room. Great size for doll houses, and they come in a nice little wooden box. They also have African American families, royal families, etc.
  23. Magnetic Dress-Up Dolls
    magnetic dress up dolls
    $18.44
    Wow, more Melissa and Doug! I guess I’m a fan. We had a kid who loved the idea of paper dolls, but found the little tabs endlessly frustrating. These made a nice compromise: you can mix and match the outfits, and they just stick on with magnets.
  24. Schaeffer Calligraphy Set
    calligraphy set
    $18.69
    So you say you’d love to let your kids have that magical, sensual experience of writing in pen and ink, but you’re not dumb enough to turn them loose with a bottle of ink? Here is a lovely set, with 3 pens, 3 nibs, and a bunch of pre-filled ink cartridges in various colors. Also includes an introductory calligraphy booklet.
  25. Fairy Design Kit
    fairy design kit
    $19.98
    Years and years later, the girls still love these. We had a friend who had the Barbie version of these — you remember! You lay the paper over it and rub over it, and the faces, bodies, and clothes magically appear. Then kids can color it in, add details, etc. Pretty fairy vignettes.
  26. LED rope lights
    LED rope lights
    $19.99
    Makes rooms awesome the LED way. 16 feet of awesomeness that doesn’t overheat if your wiener kids leave them on all night.
  27. Curious George Tin Tea Set
    curious george tea set
    $19.99
    TIN TEA SETS. Why did we not think of this several daughters ago? You do need to dry them off so they don’t rust, but it’s so much better than endlessly gluing broken shards together.
  28. 14″ Bride, Ballerina, and Princess Dolls
    ballerina doll
    $21.99
    Pleasant faces on these dolls, who are proportioned like little girls, and not like, you know, strippers. We got three of these last Christmas, and no limbs have fallen off, and the dresses have held up for a solid year without ripping, unravelling, or even going limp.
  29. Bushnell Falcon 7×35 Binoculars
    binoculars
    $23.99
    Heavy and easy to use, with a nice carrying case. Good price for the quality.
  30. TARDIS beach towel
    TARDIS towel
    $24.07
    Big and bright — works well as a wall hanging or door cover, too.
  31. Whirl and Twirl Swingwhirl and twirl swing
    $25.20
    For little miss or mister Upside-Downer. Exactly as advertized. She whirls, she twirls, she hangs from her knees, I can’t watch.
  32. Wooden Chinese Checkers
    chinese checkersand pouch of marbles$30.56
    (and Sack of Replacement Marbles for Chinese Checkers $5.01)
    There are cheaper boards, but this one is very big and sturdy, and the marbles stay in place. Popular with kids of all ages. And for goodness’ sake, buy the replacement marbles now. You will need them.
  33. Pet Vet Center
    pet vet center
    $29.99
    Strikes the right balance between adorable and interesting, for kids who really want to play vet, not just play puppy. The stuffed puppy has articulated joints and is posable and durable. Lots of nice details, like the X-rays and the velcro bandage, and the storage case works well.
  34. Jedi Fleece Bathrobejedi bathrobe
    $30.54
    If you saw my ten-year-old son in this, you would die. You would just die.
  35. Gromit Microwaveable Plush
    gromit plush
    $30.95
    I KNOW, this is a really expensive stuffed animal! But Wallace and Gromit toys are hard to find. This one, you can put in the microwave and it heats up and smells like lavender or something, I dunno. She likes it.
  36. Dragon Sword
    dragon sword
    $32.95
    Only to be purchased by people who want to be the best parents ever. It’s not terribly sharp, but it’s not a toy, either — more of a stage or cosplay prop. Reasonably heavy and sturdy, satisfyingly long and bright, with nice details on the dragon. The chain broke pretty quickly, but we just bought some jewelry fasteners and put it back together.
  37. Doctor Who 11-piece Micro Action Figure Set
    doctor who set of 11
    $33.00
    As advertised. The first eleven Doctors in the palm of your sweaty little hand. A handy gift for people whose birthday is coming up right after Christmas, so you can set them up to expect one more Doctor . . .
  38. Buddha Board
    buddha board
    $33.99
    You use the brush to paint elegant shapes with water, and it slowly evaporates. Soothing and pleasant, comes with a little easel and water pot. This also comes in a mini version for cheaper.
  39. Make Clay Charms Book and Kit
    clay charms set
    $34.95
    Such a hit! You can follow the directions (which were clearly tested by actual people, whew) to make the various charms pictured, or you can make up your own stuff. My daughter loves making and baking little figurines, earrings, and pendants for herself and for gifts.
  40. Roller Derby Adjustable Roller Skates for girls
    roller skates girls
    $34.99
    The best skates we’ve found for the price, comfortable and durable.
  41. Chicago Adjustable Roller Skates for boys
    chicago skates boys
    $34.99
    Same review as above.
  42. Set of 9 Tempera Paints
    tempra paints
    $24.49
    Gotta have big bottles of paints, if only for that wonderful nostalgic smell.
  43. Doctor Who David Tenant Dress
    doctor who dress
    $39.20
    This really barely qualifies as a dress and not a costume, and doesn’t have much structure; but on the other hand, SHE LOVES IT. And it looks great on her.
  44. Twilight Turtle
    twilight turtle
    $39.95
    I shuddered at the price, but when you have four little girls sleeping in one room, and some of them can’t sleep with the light on and some of them can’t sleep with the light off, this is a godsend. It projects your choice of three colors of stars onto the ceiling, and it turns off automatically after the kid has a chance to fall asleep. Much beloved. This also calmed the whole family down during a recent power outage.
  45. Rody Inflatable Ride-On Horse
    rody horse
    $49.95
    Pricey but very, very durable, and cute as heck. Easier to get on and off of than hopper balls. Some of the older kids even watch TV while sitting on them, which may or may not be an endorsement. Anyway, the one we have (in lime green) has stayed inflated for years, no kidding.
  46. Steel Toe Combat Boots
    combat boots
    $59.99
    Really tough, and just as attractive as Doc Martens, in my mompinion. We looked at a lot (A LOT) of boots, even buying and returning more than one pair, before we found these, which are the best and sturdiest ones we’ve ever seen, for a really good price. My teenage daughter is really happy with hers, and they have held up well.
  47. Tribot Remote Control Robot
    tribot
    Listing this here even though I would not recommend paying the list price of $285 for it! If you can find it on Ebay or somewhere, though, snap it up. Durable, funny, easy to use, surprising, and entertaining. It is quite a noisy toy, and fairly obnoxious, but somehow endearing, and it has tons and tons of features. Its eyebrows wiggle up and down.
  48. Roller Coaster
    roller coaster
    $95.80
    Again, not sure if I would pay full price for this — unless maybe a grandparent gave me a gift card and said to buy a group gift for a bunch of little kids. We got ours super cheap when a store was going out of business, and we’ve been using it steadily for something like ten years. It has survived many winters of being forgotten in the yard under several feet of snow, and never stops being fun for little guys.
  49. iPod Nano

    pictured: Generation 5 (discontinued, but still available)

    pictured: Generation 5 (discontinued, but still available)

    (price varies) Our kids have refurbished iPod Nanos, which we found after some hunting (they sell used and refurbished items on Amazon, don’t forget; or you could check eBay, etc.)  They can play music, they can watch videos, they cannot go online. Bingo.

  50. 13-foot Trampoline
    trampoline
    with net and ladder, $279.99
    IT’S SO GOOD. YOU SHOULD HAVE A TRAMPOLINE. NOTHING IS BETTER THAN A TRAMPOLINE. We actually have a slightly different brand, but this one looks similar. We (shh) don’t have a net, and we used a stepladder for a ladder, so ours was closer to $200. Wonderful, wonderful purchase. Every single last person likes being on it. It lifts your mood. It wears you out. It’s funny and makes your hair stand on end. And you can lie down on it and look at the stars without bugs getting in your hair. Get the biggest one you can afford.

Dear Simcha, Vol. 2

irene pie

Dear Mr. Pfischurr, if that is indeed your name,

I was thinking of sending a small I mean very very large sustaining donation to EWTN last year, but then this year I noticed that you’ve been writing for the Register for something like four years, and that certainly explains a thing or two in the downturn in quality that I have definitely noticed a lot; and my accountant, that I definitely have because I am a wealthy donor, feels the same way.  It’s stealth liberals like you who are responsible for at least 90% of the souls who have been lost since the Council of Trent. I don’t know how you sleep at night.

P.S. You have yellow teeth, ha ha, why don’t you get a real job?

In His Name Plus Lots of His Blood and His Mother and His Mother’s Blood,

Albigensius Maximus

Read the rest at the Register.

Dear Simcha, Vol. 1

Happy Thanksgiving!  I know that many of you are very busy and/or really depressed today.  Some of you are alone, and many, many more of you desperately wish that you were.  So, rather than tax you with a challenging or insightful essay, I thought I’d take this opportunity to clean up my inbox and answer a few of the questions that people have asked me recently.

***

Dear Simcha,

By this time of day, I’m supposed to be basting the turkey for the fifth or sixth time so it will be golden and delicious in time for our Thanksgiving feast.  But I haven’t even defrosted it yet, because I spent all of yesterday watching Benny Hill and drinking the rum I bought to make rum raisin bread pudding.  (I also ate all the raisins, which is a separate problem.)  So now I have eleven guests coming in a matter of hours, and all I have to offer them is 22 pounds of solid turkey ice.  I can’t even get the bag off.  I think I may still actually be drunk.  I’m so ashamed.  What can I do?

Signed, Filled With Regret

Dear Filled With Regret,

Lucky for you, I’m an avid historian, so I can save your sorry hide with my expertise!  It’s a little known fact that turkeys aren’t even an authentic Thanksgiving main course, so it’s actually quite acceptable to serve something else.  Forget that boring old bird.  Instead, call yourself a purist and dish up what the original Pilgrims probably had for their main course:  a couple of juicy wild eagles.  If no eagles are available, swan is an acceptable substitute.  Just don’t forget the traditional eel-and-poopberry compote for a side dish.  And they drank hot tar from wooden cups.  Hope this helps, and bon appétit!  Or should I say (since French had not yet been invented in Pilgrim times), Huzzah!

***

Dear Simcha,

I’m eleven months old.  My mother is fairly useful, and I’ve gotten accustomed to her smell.  She can even be kind of funny sometimes, like with that noise she makes when I grab her lips and twist them around. But she has one really bad habit, and I don’t know if I can tolerate it anymore.

Sometimes, when I’m awake, she puts me down.  On the floor.  For minutes at a time.  She does this even though she knows perfectly well that the floor is a completely inappropriate and demeaning location for someone of my social standing (I basically run the household).  Also, it’s harder to bite her nose when she’s not holding me.  I’m at my wit’s end.  What do you suggest?

P.S.   Also, she sometimes tries to put socks on me.  Socks, in November!  How am I supposed to deal with this level of idiocy?

Signed, Benedicta

Dear Benedicta,

The main thing you need to keep in mind is that your mother really loves you and is trying her best, but that, because of the demands of her current schedule, she has the physical prowess and mental acuity of a damp Kleenex.  She knows, deep in her heart, that putting you down is the wrong thing to do, but she feels that she can’t help herself.

What she needs is someone to help snap her out of her pathetic, self-pitying state.  Have you tried screaming?  If that doesn’t work, have you tried screaming more?  I really think you should try screaming, followed by some more screaming.  Good luck!

P.S.  Don’t forget that thing you do, where you put your little head down and then look up with your big, brown eyes.  Once she reassembles herself from the puddle she instantly becomes when she meets your gaze, she will want to pick you up, because you are a cutie wootie wootie, oh yes you are, and Mama loves you very much, oh yes she does.

***

Dear Simcha,

We’re having relatives over for Thanksgiving.  We are polar opposites on just about every issue, and every other year, the feast quickly devolved into a screaming match, and everyone went home furious.  Grandmama has convinced us to patch things up and get together again this year.  We’ve already agreed not to talk about politics, but there are so many other divisive topics of conversation.  How can I be sure that we will have a peaceful and pleasant day?

Signed,
William Makepeace Crackery

Dear Bill,

Don’t underestimate the healing properties of just the right menu.  Here are a few recipes that might just do the trick, and will give you the happy, quiet holiday your battered soul needs.

***

Hey –

Leaving the office in a few minutes.  Will meet you at Mom’s.  Thanks for making all eleven kinds of pie.  It’s so much easier to choose which one I want when I can actually see them, you know?  Oh, some guy was selling puppies out of his trunk, so I picked up a few.  You’re so good with words — you can name the one with bowel problems.  See you soon!

love, D

Dear D,

>>The following address has permanent fatal errors:  simchafisher@gmail.com
(reason: 540 OY-001 (FEH0-GRR4-FU23)
In order to avoid being placed on a permanent block list, please reconfigure your message so that it includes no puppies, and more gin.

[This post originally ran at the National Catholic Register in 2012.]

This post is not about Bill Cosby.

If you want to talk about Bill Cosby (or Bill Clinton, or Woody Allen, or Roman Polanski) please find a conversation somewhere else. This post is about what you are supposed to do if you’ve been raped. What’s the next step?

Reading comments by self-identified Catholic conservatives in the last few days, this is what I have learned . . .

Read the rest at the Register.

Go forth and get Me butter, says the Lord.

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who was hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. She wanted—no, needed—everything to be perfect. She planned and prepped for days, chopping vegetables, rolling dough, scrubbing baseboards, and counting silverware. On the day of the feast, she was up with the sun, full of determination and manic good cheer.

As the day wore on, the good cheer waned and the manic levels rose. Pots boiled over and were turned down; ovens smoked and windows were opened. The clock ticked, and little by little, the meal started to come together. The guests would be there in a matter of hours. Could she pull off the perfect day? She really thought she could.

Then, suddenly: calamity. She ran out of butter! Real butter, creamy and fat, the fuel that makes the Thanksgiving engine run. She had to have some. She shrieked for her husband and sent him out to the store, with instructions to come back as quickly as he could with at least two pounds of butter.

Off he went. And he didn’t come back, and he didn’t come back. She grew more and more frantic and considered her options. She could cook without butter. No, impossible. She could just explain things to the guests. Unthinkable. She could burn the house down and move to Guadalajara. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Just as she began to search for her passport, her husband’s car screeched into the driveway. He was home, home with the butter! Hallelujah, the day was saved!

With trembling fingers, she snatched open the bag . . . and then fell back, the words of thanks dying in her throat. She croaked. She gabbled. She gaped.

There on the table was a three-pound tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!

“Boy, the stores were crowded!” her husband said. ”I guess everyone was shopping for Thanksgiving. But I knew you would like this, because you just wanted two pounds of butter, and this is three!”

What the young woman replied, I cannot record here. But she did point out to her husband, possibly dozens of times, that, “It says right on the package that IT’S NOT BUTTER.”

Well, Thanksgiving happened anyway. The food was hot and bountiful, the guests were jovial, and if anyone noticed that the butter was not butter, no one mentioned it. It was a good Thanksgiving.

You may think I’m going to wrap this story up with a moral about how we ought to be thankful for the best efforts of our loved ones, and that what really matters in the end is family, peace, joy, harmony, and good intentions.

But, no. What I’m thinking is, “Seriously, it said, ‘IT’S NOT BUTTER’ right on the package. Right on there! And he brought it home anyway!”

Know who that reminds me of? Me. Not on Thanksgiving, but every week, every day. Every time I go to Mass, the last thing I hear is, “Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.” God is telling us, “Look, you have one job. One job. Go and serve me.”

And I say, “Amen, Boss!” and off I go.

And then what do I do? I come back with a giant tub of “I Can’t Believe I’m Not Serving God!” And I jog back into his temple, all hopeful and proud with my ridiculous little package clutched under my arm, and I say, “See? Look what I found for you! Good, huh? Just what you asked for, right?”

It’s not what he asked for. It’s a substitute. It says right on the package that it’s not what he wants. And God opens the package, and he says…

“Close enough. Come on in, thou good enough, faithful enough servant. Come on in to the feast I have prepared for you. Sit down with your family in the home of your Father, and let us have a meal together.”

And that, my friends, is why we celebrate Thanksgiving. Not because we have it all together, not because things turned out perfectly, not because we never disappoint each other, or because we always please God. We celebrate Thanksgiving because God loves us even when we fail—especially when we fail.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love is everlasting.

***

[This article originally ran in Catholic Digest in 2013.]

Knock-knock. Who’s there? Bad Mama.

PIC Jesus knocking at door

Sound at the door: Shuffling, muffled sobbing, incompetent doorknob rattling; cries of, “Mama, Ma-maaaaaa.”

Bad Mama: Buuuuut it’s supposed to be my turn to sleep in.

Good Mama: But you’re her mother, her only mother, and they grow up so fast!

Bad Mama: I don’t think it’s going to kill her to go sit on the couch for a few minutes.

Good Mama: But remember the Gospel reading! Whatever you do for the least of my little ones  . . . so, wouldn’t you get up if it was Jesus knocking at the door? Wouldn’t you let Him in?

Jesus: Yeah, come on, sheesh.

Bad Mama: Well, Jesus, maybe You should learn how to work the damn doorknob already.

 

Yeah, yeah, I got up.

Update from Nicole G.

A few weeks ago, I posted about a GoFundMe appeal for Nicole G. I took that post down a few days later. Here is an update from Nicole, which explains why I took it down, and updates us on her family’s situation. 

****

I asked Simcha to remove her blog article about our family because it was very searchable via Google. I wasn’t worried about my estranged husband finding it. My 12 year old daughter, for some unexplainable reason, googled my name. She found Simcha’s article and the Go Fund Me page and found out the real reason her dad left our home. Up until then, only my oldest daughter who is almost 17, was the only one of my 6 kids who knew. She actually had an inkling about what was going on before I did, probably because I was in denial. My 12 year old was distraught and has spoken about it with her counselor twice since finding out and is coping better. She still has a lot of feelings to work through and is very angry with her dad. I want their relationship to be repaired, as I feel it’s important for my kids to have their dad in their lives, even with the issues he is dealing with. He definitely needs prayer also, that he gets his life together and gets right with God.

Surgery update. I had my first surgery on November 13th. The surgeon removed my right ovary & fallopian tube along with the 3 cysts. He got the pathology report back and it showed pre-cancerous cells in my ovary. He sent the tissue off to a pathologist who specializes in gynecological issues for a second opinion. If that dr shows the same results, I will have to have a complete hysterectomy and bladder repair. I am coming to terms with the fact that my fertility has come to an end, even though with no husband it was kind of a moot issue, but the finality of it all is saddening. IF the second opinion comes back saying there are no pre-cancerous cells, I will still have to have an ultrasound of the left ovary once every 6 months to watch it for any changes.

Next week, I am having a GI procedure with a specialist who does a procedure called a balloon enteroscopy. No one in our area does this, so I have to drive 250 miles to the nearest big city with a GI doctor who does this. It is a 2 hour procedure in which I will be under general anesthesia. Prayers are appreciated. My hope is that he can cauterize the source of bleeding that we *know* is present and most likely is the cause of the anemia I’ve had for 5 years, for which I had iron transfusions last spring. He also is going to investigate what the “abnormality” in the length of 15 cm in my small bowel is. My hope is that it is something that can be diagnosed and treated with medication (such as Chron’s, even though who hopes for Chron’s?) as opposed to something more invasive needing to be done. If he finds that the section needs to be removed (which was the recommendation of the GI doctor I see here) then I will undergo surgery in December to remove that 15cm + a little extra and then resection the small bowel. This will require a 7 to 10 day hospital stay. I’m most concerned about the logistics and finding someone to watch my children overnight (they will be in school during the day).

Update on legal issues: Thanks to your generosity, I was able to retain a very good attorney. I have given her so much paperwork I’ve gone through 3 ink cartridges already, with more to print off this weekend, lol. Our plan (and she is ok with this) is to wait until I know the results of my GI procedure to file the paperwork with the courts for a temporary order of support. My estranged husband has started giving me $400 per week, which is well under what the state will have him pay, but at least it is something and pays the bills, but with nothing left over. My FEAR is that once he is served with papers and the temporary support order, he will stop paying any money at all. Oregon doesn’t give non-custodial parents a choice in how they pay, they automatically garnish wages, but the system is slow and could take one month to 6 weeks before they garnish his wages. If he stops paying anything, because he is angry, I will have a month to 6 weeks of no income at all, even to pay bills.
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I have also applied to the local community college and am going to start this spring (if all goes well with my medical issues) with ONE class, just to get my feet wet. I’ve never been to college, so I’m a little nervous on how it’s all going to go. Then next fall I will be starting an associates degree program so that I can get a well paying job when I am finished. The class I am starting with this spring is a pre-req to that program. I am busy filling out financial aid applications and scholarship applications, but none of those will go toward this spring class, they will all be for the 2015-2016 school year.

I decided to have my friend remove the Go Fund Me page for the same reason I asked Simcha to remove the blog posts about our family, even though we didn’t reach our goal. If you’d still like to help, any amount is appreciated. I also understand that a lot of people can’t help, but the most important type of help we need is prayer, and everyone can do that. If you’d like to help financially, you can do so through PayPal. My paypal address is nicolegrimesavon@gmail.com. You can also e-mail me if you’d like me to answer any questions or just to offer support. We don’t live near family and at times I feel so alone. Small words of encouragement help to lift my spirits.

Thank you all for the help you’ve given us and for all the prayers that have been said. God bless you all.

Nicole G.

They keep telling me to look at the fruits of the Legion of Christ.

Well, the harvest keeps rolling in. Here’s the latest installment:

An Irish-born Chilean priest convicted of sexually abusing a minor while chaplain at a school in Santiago was sentenced to four years of probation Tuesday.

A court in the Chilean capital also banned the Rev. John O’Reilly from any job near children and ordered that his genetic data be added to a registry for abusers.

O’Reilly, who has denied any wrongdoing, was not present during the sentencing. Prosecutors had asked for a 10-year prison sentence.

The court found O’Reilly guilty last month, saying he abused a young girl while he was the spiritual guide at the Cumbres school in the affluent neighborhood of Las Condes.

Relatives had accused the priest of molesting two pre-teen girls between 2010 and 2012. The court absolved him in one case.

O’Reilly arrived in Chile in the mid-1980s and was granted Chilean citizenship in 2008.He is a member of the Legion of Christ, the once-respected conservative order that fell into scandal after it was revealed that its founder had fathered a child and had sexually abused seminarians.

Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down, salt the earth, give the victims of LC and RC support, and beg their forgiveness . And remember that the victims include not only the thousands who were sexually, emotionally, and spiritually abused, but also the good men and women who had the bad fortune to get their religious formation from Maciel’s fundamentally perverse and corrupt design. They are victims too, and should be given a way to escape the nightmare world that Maciel built when he designed the Legion specifically to facilitate predators like himself.

There is nothing that LC and RC did or can do that cannot be done by some other order. Shut. It. Down.

 

What’s wrong with message art?

PIC 3d crucifixion tattoo

If you’re a Christian artist, and you want to use your skill to make the world better, I’m begging you: never lead with the message. Instead, listen with your inner ear until something hits that special note. You don’t even have to know why it resounds for you; just listen, and tell other people what you heard. Hone your skills, stay close to God in your personal life, always be looking and listening for new things . . .  and above all, take off that delivery man’s uniform. That’s not your gig.

Read the rest at the Register.