Or something else entirely? His story stinks to high heaven, and if the priest has another one, I doubt he’s free to tell it.
Link doesn’t seem to be working for everyone. If you can’t access the story through the link above, you can cut and paste this:
http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/gay-man-refused-last-rites
There are plenty of memes that want to know all about your book history and your all-time greats and your grand ambitions, but let’s focus on something more revealing: the books you’re actually reading now, or just read, or are about to read. Let’s call it The Immediate Book Meme.
Aww yiss! I hate having to come up with the top ten most important or most influential books. It happens that I was heavily influenced by books that weren’t very good. And it happens that I can’t think of anything besides what everyone else already put on the list. This one, I just have to shove my bed away from the wall and rummage around on the floor to make my list. Here’s the questions, with my answers:
1. What book are you reading now?
(I do almost all my reading in the 20 minutes before I fall asleep, so there is a lot of variety under my bed, to accommodate how tired I happen to be.)
2. What book did you just finish?
3. What do you plan to read next?
4. What book do you keep meaning to finish?
5. What book do you keep meaning to start?
Introduction to the Devout Life by Francis De Sales. I’m gonna, okay?
6. What is your current reading trend?
I’m making an effort to read books I’ve never read before, rather than re-re-re-re-re-re-revisiting old favorites. Working my way through more non-fiction than usual. Pro tip: it’s easier to read non-fiction if it’s about sex.
Okay, now your turn! And thanks, Darwins!
ZENIT: “Would you place your book in the context of the New Evangelization?”
SIMCHA: [runs and looks up ‘New Evangelization’]. “Yes.”
A handmade wooden machine that mimics the motion of a drop of water hitting a puddle:
h/t Ebaumsworld via Ameetha Widdershins. Built by Dean O’Callaghan
From a reader:
question – do you know of a writer similar to yourself who writes from the perspective of infertility after having had kids.what i mean about a writer similar to yourself is that real world, humorous view of life & kids & God’s will. i need to read someone who writes from the perspective of someone who has had kids but is currently going through some kind of infertility but wants more kids but is struggling with God’s will in the matter. i don’t know if i’m making any sense. every writer i come across is all very holy & pious and “Imma offer everything up” and while I appreciate that view, it’s totally not me. I need someone who says, “Yes it sucks that I’m going through this and it sucks to try to live with God’s will in this.” haha. any suggestions? do you think your readers would have any suggestions?
Anyone?
I had a great interview with the witty and insightful Scott Eric Alt of Logos & Muse yesterday, and he incorporated parts of our conversation into his review, Seven Reasons to Read Simcha Fisher’s Book on NFP. This question came up:
Why should we trust this mother of nine to make the case for NFP? That’s a fecundity beyond all reason! Either she’s not using NFP at all (oh the deceit!) or it does not really work. Nancy Pelosi infamously said that you call NFP-users “mama” and “dada,” and Simcha Fisher is exhibit A.
He’s not the first one to delicately inquire how I presume to write about NFP, when I’ve had so many kids in such a short time. The short answer is that even exclusive breastfeeding is no match for my incredible, invincible, almost inexplicable fertility. I’m not kidding. You will just have to take my word for it that I do know what I’m talking about when I talk about abstinence.
The other answer is that this book is not based solely on my own experience. I was lucky enough to belong to a message board of NFP-users for many years, where men and women felt free to complain and console each other through the trials of NFP. Not only did I learn about other people’s experiences, I learned that one’s own experience is not necessarily The Experience.
Check out the rest of the interview here. We also talked about how God’s will works with free will; how NFP is not another kind of contraception, but another kind of life; and why I chose to write around NFP, rather than writing about NFP.
***
Next, Peter of Lightly Salted has written a really nice review in which he appreciates various points I made . . .
… but all these things do not make the book as valuable as the main thread of her argument that runs through each chapter.
Fisher’s main point is this: sex is for grownups. So if you want fantastic sex, you need to grow up! When we are childish, petulant, selfish and lazy in our approach to sex, it will be disappointing to say the least. So the struggles with married life are a gift in that, learning to be a grownup in our most intimate relationship not only makes that relationship much more fun, frolicsome and fulfilling, it teaches us to be grownups in every other aspect of our lives. In short, marriage helps us grow in holiness.
Right on. Then Peter asks the second question that has come up more than once: why isn’t there more in the book directed at men? He says:
I can hardly fault Simcha for writing from a woman’s perspective. After all, she writes as a woman who has listened carefully to men and seems to understand the basics. But I wanted a chapter for men! A chapter from a man’s perspective might have rounded off the book as an even more excellent resource for couples than it already is. I don’t mean that she is hard on men. I think she is too soft in places. Sometimes it takes a man to tell other men to ‘man up’, and give some practical tips on how to go about it.
The book has a lot of chapters which are addressed equally to men and women, and then several which are addressed to women, encouraging them to understand, express themselves to, and encourage communication from their husbands. This was deliberate.
The first reason I addressed women more directly is that women are more likely than men to buy and read a book about relationships, so I designed the book for women to read and then share with their husbands. I did paint in broad strokes when describing how men and women usually think, and what most men and most women need. (My editor made me take out a lot of tedious “of course, this may not apply to you”s and “naturally, there is a lot of variation”s.) The goal of the book was not to tell men and women what women and men are thinking, respectively, but to encourage them to find out what their particular spouses are thinking. In general, women are more motivated to broach that territory.
The second reason is that the book was already extremely personal, and I really didn’t want to write a chapter that would inevitably come across as “10 Things Simcha Wishes Her Husband Would Understand; Sheesh, What Do I Gotta Do, Write a Book?” or “Mistakes that Husbands Such as Damien T. Fisher, 39, of Southern NH, Make When Dealing with Their Wives.”
Okay, three reasons: my plan original plan was to sell maybe 250 copies of a self-published ebook and that would be the end of it, so I wasn’t really attempting to put together the definitive compendium of NFP-related issues. But I fervently hope that my book will be the first of many about NFP, and I would love to hear more from and about men.
***
Thanks for the great reviews, Peter and Scott, and for the opportunity to answer those questions! Readers, if you’re not already familiar with Logos & Muse and Lightly Salted, you’re missing out.
Chatting on Facebook about how nice it would be to hear more from men about NFP — and how tricky it was for me to try to address men, as someone who is not their wife or mother. We had the following exchange:
Barbara Cobb: “In general men are more willing to accept direction from other men rather than women, including or especially their wives. I think that’s why God in His wisdom set up an all-male priesthood.”
Me: “Wow, I never thought of that. How many men would go to a woman priest for confession?”
Jenny Townsend: “None. If they want to be corrected by a woman, they will call their mom.”Me: “And women don’t always like hearing direction from a man, but rather than avoiding it, they will tell him when he’s wrong, and then demand absolution. Yep, it’s a good system.”
As requested, here are pictures of the finished valentines my kids prepared to give out today(although it turned out to be yet another snow day):
And here is the valentine mailbox my son made:
I’m so proud. Yes, we carefully screen and censor the few episodes of Futuramathey’re allowed to watch! I’m not altogether thrilled that Bender is such a captivating role model for them; but at least they laugh when my husband says, “OK, kids. It’s 9:00. You know what that means: Daddy’s sick of looking at you, so go to bed..”
As for the adult plans, we are (as I mentioned) watching House of Cards and eating the rest of the chocolate I bought. He likes the gross gooey ones, and I like the gross fruity ones. And that’s why you need two people in a marriage.
For the first time I can remember ever, I am looking forward to Valentine’s Day. Netflix will be releasing season two of House of Cards, hooray! I didn’t like every single thing about this series, but it was always interesting, and sometimes brilliant. It was juicy. I liked it.
After we binge-watched season one, we went ahead and found the original, British version, and enjoyed that, too — although, predictably, in a different way. James Fallows at The Atlantic (who hastens to reassure us that he’s “not a subscriber to the ‘Oh, the Brits do it all so much more suavely’ school”) thinks that the British version edges out the American one:
There are lots of tough breaks in Kevin Spacey’s House of Cards, but in the end there is a kind of jauntiness to it. People kill themselves; politicians lie and traduce; no one can be trusted — and still, somewhere deep it has a kind of American optimism. That’s us (and me). USA! USA!
It’s different in the UK version. Richardson’s Francis Urquhart reminds us that his is the nation whose imagination produced Iago, and Uriah Heep, and Kingsley Amis’s “Lucky Jim” Dixon. This comedy here is truly cruel — and, one layer down, even bleaker and more squalid than it seems at first. It’s like the contrast between Rickey Gervais in the original UK version of The Office and Steve Carell in the knock-off role. Steve Carell is ultimately lovable; Gervais, not. Michael Dobbs, whose novel was the inspiration for both series, has told the BBC that the U.S. version was “much darker” than the British original. He is wrong — or cynically sarcastic, like Urquhart himself.
I’m not so sure “optimism” is the right word for the American version; and I think I agree with Michael Dobbs that the American version is darker.
The British version is most certainly more naked.
You know how British TV and movies are allowed to use actors who have real faces like real human beings, rather than the uniformly plasticized sparkle people that populate American casts. Oh, that dry British hair! Oh, those British pores! The story is presented the same way: one vile action after another, right there on screen. You are fairly sure that when Francis speaks directly to the camera, he means every word he says. Maybe I’m just too dumb to catch on (and maybe I’m missing some nuance, not knowing anything about British politics) but the British version often appeared strangely artless to me, with its constant replaying of the scream “Daddyyyyyyy!” On the other hand, when you watch the final episode, you see that the whole series has been building, with very British patience and reserve, to . . . well, the final episode. You gotta watch it.
The American version
has more ambiguity — characters are more in flux, and their motivations are more confused — which leaves the viewer in a much more precarious place. When Francis speaks to us, we are really not sure that he’s telling us, or even himself, the truth. At the same time, the show aims for a level of purely entertaining stylization, signaled with the blood-and-thunder opening sequence and the bombastic theme music. It is clearly setting out to relish every last sleek, cynical second, and occasionally seems a little taken aback (yes, the show itself. Look, I watch TV when I’m tired) when it dips into true horror — which makes those moments all the more horrible. Oh, I was so glad when that awful little reporter suddenly decided to clean up her apartment. That was good.
Anyway, very interesting stuff, right up my alley. Have you seen both? What do you think?
News flash, Cecile: Abortion is not and never has been #WhatWomenNeed.
(Our pipes have been frozen for a few days, and my hair is in desperate need of washing; so my vanity won’t let me post a picture of myself holding a #WhatWomenNeed placard. But if you want to join in the fun with New Wave Feminists, where you can find a template for the placard, my suggestion for What Women Need is “PEACE IN THE WOMB.”)
