Some vaccine incentives that would work on me

Here in the US, more than half the population is fully vaccinated against Covid.  In my state, it’s even higher. But in some regions, people are resisting getting the vaccine for a variety of reasons that range from understandable to supremely bogus.

I’ve read a few chin-stroking articles dedicated to teaching people how to overcome vaccine resistance, but a few state governments are cutting out the middle man and appealing to that most American of traits: Naked greed. It goes beyond the odd free donut here and car wash discount there. One state, for instance, is entering all vaccinated citizens into a lottery with a cash prize of a million dollars.

But these are strange times, and so many of our old values have been upended. Why not roll with that? If I hadn’t already signed up to get vaccinated within minutes of the announcement that I could, here are a few things that might get me off my keister and into the clinic line:

Flash your vaccine card, people have to wink at you. I may be the only one who would value this particular incentive, but I think winking is hilarious. It’s such an unnatural thing for most people to do with their faces, and it would keep me entertained through the darkest day.

The opportunity to access local birth records and fix the spelling of my kids’ friends’ names. I’m sorry. I know it’s insensitive and elitist. Blame the 5G chip. But still, phonics exists. Letters have meaning. It would benefit the entire community if no one was ever exposed to a Caedynne or a Jessieighkah every again.  Or a Rachael. I said what I said… Read the rest of my latest for The Catholic Weekly

Image: Tim Chambers, CC BY 2.5, via Wikimedia Commons

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9 thoughts on “Some vaccine incentives that would work on me”

  1. I actually DID get vaccinated, but I completely understand why some people are reluctant to get the vaccine & respect their decision. In my opinion, a big part of the issue is that (a) the FDA has given only emergency authorization for the vaccine, not final approval and (b) the vaccine isn’t covered by the national Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP).

    People are told to “trust the science” when it comes to Covid-19: some ARE by actually waiting until the arm of the federal government tasked with determining the fitness of a vaccine finds that the vaccine is safe. These citizens are merely more risk-averse, and — if we truly believe that the FDA is attempting to search for the truth regarding the vaccine — then their position is just as valid as that of the “early adopters” of the vaccine.

    Second, Covid-19 vaccine makers were granted protections pursuant to the PREP Act. Any injuries sustained pursuant to a Covid-19 vaccine are compensable ONLY via the Countermeasures Injury Compensation Program (CICP), not the VICP. The CICP restrictions are significant when compared with the VICP:
    * $50,000 cap on loss of income versus no loss of income cap on the VICP
    * No award for pain & suffering versus up to $250,000 award in the VICP
    * No coverage of attorney fees versus payment of reasonable attorney fees in the VICP

    Members of the public may reasonably wonder, “What does Congress know about the Covid-19 vaccine that is keeping Congress from making the vaccine a part of the VICP?” Note that the VICP is a creature of Congress, so the Covid-19 vaccine could have been made part of the VICP at any time during the last 18 months; indeed, the VICP requires a 75-cent per dose excise tax, so Congress is the only body that can act to “fund” the program.

    All this is NOT to say that one should NOT get vaccinated. I did and — so far — have suffered no negative side effects. However, I also do not agree with vilifying those who do not wish to get vaccinated at this time, since they can point to excellent scientific and legal/economic reasons to justify their decision.

  2. My nephew who used to be a personal trainer, who dropped out of his own band called “Drop Out” and is currently the on again off again “mannie” to a capricious 20-something y.o. billionaire heir to a zit cream fortune, just recovered from the Delta variant.

    He caught it at Disneyland. He says that in the two weeks he battled Covid he felt like he was going to die. We were all like, “why didn’t you just get the shot?? (Why didn’t he get the shot??)

    His response was just as lackluster as his ability to pay rent at 29(30?)

    “The shot is scary.”

  3. “The Catcher in the Rye” is hideous drivel and it baffles me that it is chosen for teenagers to read over Salinger’s much better and more interesting “Nine Stories” and “Frannie and Zoey.” I shunned everything Salinger for years because I thought it was going to be the same old {redacted} and when I finally read them I was actually angry. How dare they have made me read such trash in high school when there was a decent option BY THE SAME AUTHOR available???? Still mad.

    1. It’s the story of a depressed boy dealing with the unresolved trauma of losing his brother. He tries to fill his emptiness with sex but realizes that will leave him unfulfilled. We see his inability to protect the girl he loves from predators. There’s all that and more in the story for teenage boys to unpack. I used to think it was a ridiculous book but now I’m glad all my sons (so far) have had to read it.

      1. The problem is, teenage boys don’t read it. We were made to read “Catcher in the Rye” when I was at high school…three girls read the book. The rest relied on Spark Notes etc. I was one of the girls who read it and I hated it with a passion – all that unresolved trauma and empty sex didn’t move me one jot as the guy himself went on my nerves so much.

  4. Hah! I’m with you on the rodents.

    I have a confession about Catcher in the Rye. Every time one of my children has had to read that book, I’d say how I thought it was the dumbest book ever assigned and what a phoney good old Holden was. But a few months ago, one of my kids had to imagine The Catcher in the Rye as a movie and his assignment was to choose a musical score and support his choices by juxtaposing song lyrics with quotes from the text. As soon as he got the assignment, my son decided he wanted to do the whole thing in Johnny Cash, so he turned to me for assistance/discussion since I’m the one who turned him onto the Man in Black in the first place. I have to admit, reading the book as an oldster gave me a new appreciation for it. I actually saw it as a worthwhile read for teens and even felt empathy for Holden.

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