Betcha wish you were me, don’t you? Nine kids, fifteen years of parenting under my belt, confident, levelheaded, never get rattled, never overreact, that’s me.
And that, my friends, is why my husband and I spent three hours in the emergency room with the baby last night, to come home with this official diagnosis:
On the plus side, I, um, oh.
Arista Pasta! Isn’t that a great name?
My brother-in-law’s brother Benjamin Herried (yes, the same family who produced John Herreid, who did my book cover! Ridiculously talented bunch of people) has been selling fabulous handmade pasta products at their local farmer’s market, using local sustainable produce. Delicacies like Caramelized Fall Pear and Gorgonzola Ravioli and Sweet Potato and Roasted Garlic Gnocchi.
Pardon me, I need to mop the drool off my keyboard.
So, it’s been very popular, and they could be doing so much more, but the only have use of a commercial kitchen once a week. If they could find their own kitchen and get some equipment, they could really take off. But starting a business in Washington State is an expensive and cumbersome process, I hear. Lots of fees from state and local goverments, lots of hoops to jump through.
So they’re launching a Kickstarter Campain to raise some funds for Arista Pasta. Check out this video, that begins with a still of one of their five lovely kids enjoying her daddy’s pasta, with the lovely jumble of family life behind her, with the lovely rosary draped down the side. (If the video isn’t showing up, you can see it here. It’s short and sweet!)
I only made pasta once in my life, with the Junior Catholic Daughters of the Americas, and it was not an elevating experience. Ben Herreid, though, is all about detail, all about doing it right. For instance, he’s using these gorgeous bronze pasta dies for the best texture:
Sorry, I’m immoderately fascinated by the bronze pasta dies. I want some.
Benjamin’s wife Anne Marie told me,
I want people to know that if they contribute even five bucks they’ve made our day, we aren’t looking for massive bank breaking support. We’re hoping for a bunch of little support and of course prayers. I really loved the recent reading about the guy who goes and bugs his neighbor for a loaf of bread in the middle of the night to feed a visitor, and how he relents cause it’s just so annoying. That’s us.
How can you resist? Arista Pasta! And they have lovely gifts for donors at various levels. And please, even if you can’t contribute, say a quick prayer for their success — and spread the word! Thanks.
Two quick things!
One, I just got through doing a live hour with the guys at Archangel Radio.
Honestly, I was a little nervous about doing an entire hour about my book, but it was actually wonderful to relax and have some space to really talk about things — about, for instance, how lucky I am to have a big family, but how foolish it is to think you know the state of someone’s soul based on their family size. These guys are a hoot,
and they asked really good questions.
If you missed it, they post the live hour segments on YouTube; my segment should be up at the end of the day.
****
Two, the intrepid Jennifer Fitz of Riparians at the Gate is giving away a copy of my book, which you obviously already own, but, as Jennifer says, “You’re allowed to enter and win for a friend instead. See? Thanksgiving present. Perfect.”
Okay, maybe, “intrepid” is not the right descriptor. Here is #4 of her “Seven Quick Takes” book giveaway post:
4. Here’s the scoop on the book, and why you need to reform your ways if you didn’t answer #2, 3, 3.5, or 3.75 correctly:
(A) You know how you hate NFP? You use it and all, or you would, but it’s maybe not the rapturous experience that you always dreamt of, when you first read the words “cervical mucus”? This book is about that. NFP Frustration.
(B) The book doesn’t talk about cervical mucus. It doesn’t have 10 Ways to Get a Better Temp Rise, Faster! Now! A Full 4/10ths of a Degree or Your Money Back!!
Most books are better if they don’t include that. –> Except if you’re trying to learn NFP. In which case the amusing way in which this contest is being run will help you with that.
(C) Every stupid thing about NFP ever. said. by some idiot who clearly has a Josephite marriage and prefers it that way (did Joseph? I’m skeptical.), REFUTED! Blammo! In YOUR PLACE crazy people. Done.
(D) Except charitably.
(E) Downright Theology of the Body, if you must know. Only, it’s not, “I drank the TOTB water, and now I drool unicorns and rainbows.” It’s more like: “Hey! TOTB Water! You can brew beer with that!”
(F) It’s a short book.
(G) There were points where I did not laugh out loud. I laughed so hard sound would not come out of my body. I would have rolled on the floor laughing, except that I was laughing too hard to fall out of my chair. I’m sure it was weird looking. There are certain chapters you might not want to read in public.
(H) We aren’t doing the whole alphabet.
(I) But I thought up another thing: This book is the perfect marriage book. So if you know somebody who’s married, or who is thinking of getting married, this would be a great gift. I’ve been married 47.5% of my life. I know what it takes. Simcha’s nailed it. On the head.
(J) It’s pronounced “Sim-ka”. Like the “ch” sound in “School”. Because Simka’s so chool.
(K) Yeah, I was saying it wrong too.
(L) I didn’t ask how to pronounce “Fisher”. We’re all just winging it on that one.
I die.
So there are — I was going to say three ways to enter, but there are actually three ways to enter just on her personal blog alone. You can also enter at Amazing Catechists, and she also talks a little bit on Patheos about how she read my book despite having just finished a 3.5 month-long exhaustive course on Catholic sex ed.
Thanks, Jennifer, for these great posts! Oh, and “Fisher” is pronounced “Potrzebie.” Hope that helps.
(It won’t let me load up the image for some reason.)
This week has been an experiment to see whether two rather sedentary adults can accomplish the work of five strong men, sleeping an average of four non-consecutive hours per night, and sustained by little more than beer, deli ham, and Laffy Taffy:
(Oh, so the answer is: “Yes, but unnnnnghhhhhhhh.”)
So here are seven things I never got around to blogging about:
–1–
Maybe someday, if we need a house, we will just print one up. I was going to say something about how such houses would be lacking in the charm that only traditional stick-built homes can afford, but then I looked around and, yeah. Charm. We once hired a guy to replace our front door, because whoever designed our house graduated Magna Cum Stupido from the Dr. Suess Academy of Ridiculous Architecture. After watching him struggle with the angles for over an hour, I apologized to him for how crookedy it all was. “Aw, that’s okay,” he said. “Anyone can work on a straighthouse!” So, that’s why we live here. W. H. Auden would approve.
–2–
Probably everybody’s seen this already, but my kids got a kick out of this Star Wars bloopers reel:
–3–
Here’s a thought-provoking post that uses that odious “What’s Your Excuse?” meme as a springboard for some even more interesting ideas about the “self-improvement culture” and what health really means. Long but fascinating.
–4–
Quickie: The reality of what food stamps cost all of us
–5–
I suppose you’ve already met the worst person in the world. I’m happy to report that, when we went trick-or-treating last night, there was no visible judgment from anyone, even though we had three teenaged trick-or-treaters and one baby trick-or-treater. (And yes, the candy really was for her. Although she shared it with the dog, who has a special weakness for lollipops.)
We also saw zero (0) sexy costumes. Probably because it was cold and rainy, but really! Three cheers for the backlash!
Of our own costumes, we took very few non-terrible pictures, but here are a few of my kids:
Ash from Army of Darkness:
The kid who went from door to door saying “Alms for the bodiless” instead of “trick or treat”:
A puppy, who wore this beloved costume for four months nonstop last year, even through the sweltering heat, because of reasons very much like this:
Here is our weeping angel getting ready:
Her finished costume got mixed reviews, mainly because (a) it turns out it’s hard to spraypaint feathers, maybe because they are, oh yeah, designed to be moisture repellent; and (b) we spent six weeks planning and about twelve minutes actually executing.
We also had a cat fairy, River Song, and 2D from Gorillaz (because we are the family your mother warned you about). The baby was “Baffled Two-Year Old Who Fell Asleep in the Car on the Way Home from School and Continued Sleeping Until It Was Time to Go Trick-or-treating, So We Just Put a Fluffy Scarf on Her and It Was Cute” girl. Oh, and a princess:
Sorry the pics are so dark. We’re getting thunderstorms here, and if I delay posting this any longer (to lighten up the pics), I’m going to lose my internet. You get the general idea. Lotsa candy, happy night. We’re going to watch The Birds andSigns with the older kids, as part of our prolonged weekend of spookiness.
–6–
God bless this amazing young woman protecting an apparent neo-nazi from a mob:
There were shouts of “Kill the Nazi” and the man began to run – but he was knocked to the ground. A group surrounded him, kicking him and hitting him with the wooden sticks of their placards.
Mob mentality had taken over. “It became barbaric,” says Thomas.
“When people are in a crowd they are more likely to do things they would never do as an individual. Someone had to step out of the pack and say, ‘This isn’t right.’”
So the teenager, then still at high school, threw herself on top of a man she did not know and shielded him from the blows.
“When they dropped him to the ground, it felt like two angels had lifted my body up and laid me down.”
–7–
And finally: Hundreds of proofs of God’s non-existence and counting!
Don’t forget to check out Jennifer Fulwiler’s blog for the rest of the Seven Quick Takes. And, because I am special, I saw the cover of Jen’s new book, and yes, it is magnificent, and perfect.
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGrjqMzgfHA
Full Audio: http://www.wngl1410am.com/LIVE-HOUR.html
Brandon Vogt has delivered approximately eleventy million tons of helpful advice about writing and marketing, and he graciously put together this post about my book as part of his series of interviews with illustrious people, plus me.
In the interview, he gives me the chance to swat down a few myths about NFP, and to talk about why, if NFP is so effective, so many Catholic families have 15-passenger vans in their driveways. Check it out! Great questions.
And okay, color me easy to impress, but I just about died when I saw this graphic he cooked up:
Soon! Soon, I tell you! Any day now, the print book will be available for pre-order. In the mean time, I’m still all
I got interviewed by Brandon Vogt!!!! (Yeah, he made that graphic, too.)
Things you never hear about Hemingway. Maybe it’s true and maybe not all of it is, but it sounds good.
Now that I posted about Lou Reed, I feel a little more comfortable slipping into mommy blog territory for a minute. I just signed up to bring treats for my kid’s Halloween party. I actually love doing things like this, but I know I’m going to be busy this week. If you’re making Halloween treats, here are a few possibilities for projects that you can figure out how to do without reading the directions:
A few years ago, I made these:
and achieved the holy grail of internet-inspired treats: THEY TURNED OUT EXACTLY LIKE THE PICTURE. Very easy, if somewhat time consuming, and the kids loved them. Apple slices, peanut butter, mini marshmallows. Here’s a variation with almond slivers (and no, the kids did not care that the apples had browned a bit):
You could also use halves of cookies for the lips and pink icing for the gums, if you have to go nut-free (but check the cookie ingredients to make sure they’re safe).
I think we will go with these this year:
Pretzel rods dipped in candy coating. I think you could also use white chocolate with a spoonful of oil, and it might be cheaper. They say to use a special edible marker to make the faces, but you could use any number of other things while the coating is still wet – chocolate sprinkles, maybe raisins, chocolate chips.
You could also use melted chocolate with a spoonful of oil, and just fling on some black and orange sprinkles or whatever. Lots of possibilities here:
Kids are always really impressed by these, for some reason, especially if you present lots of varieties to choose from.
Here’s something a little more complicated (unless you buy pre-made cookies) but still simple and effective: gingerbread skeletons.
Most effective if your cookies turn out dark, which not all recipes do.
And I know my kid’s teacher has a pretty good sense of humor, but she may or may not be thrilled if I bring this in.
BUT IT’S SO HEALTHY!
How about you? Did you make any rash promises? Any disasters to report?
Thanks, everybody, for sending me the screenshots of your Amazon reviews! It was a pleasure to see. I now have whopping 85 reviews for my book, 81 of which gave it five stars. And this is just the e-book! Wait until the print one comes out! I can’t give away too much, but I have just three words for you: “Scratch,” “and,” and “sniff.”
And now for the prizes.
THIRD PRIZE goes to David Singleton. David gets a set of steak knives. David may or may not actually want a set of steak knives, which I spent something like $2 on, and now I feel kind of bad about it. It was late, and I was thinking about this:
SECOND PRIZE goes to Rachel LaPointe. This is actually a good prize: a set of five luxurious handmade soaps from Roots Soap Co. in Portland. Rachel, I will put you in touch with the owner, Anna Cools, so you can choose whichever ones you like.
and FIRST PRIZE goes to Rebecca Salazar. This is a set of two SGNFP pint glasses, a gift box of ridiculously scrumptious handmade bon bons from a local chocolatier, and maybe something to put in the glasses, like I don’t know what, like Tang or something! Or something!
Thanks again, everyone. I have sent emails to all the winners, so you can send me your mailing addresses.
P.S. It’s our wedding anniversary today! Happy day, D. I love you.
It’s been a hamster wheelish couple of weeks! If you have contacted me, please be patient while I scamper my way around to you! Thank you!
Sweet Jenna of Call Her Happy sent me some interview questions that I had fun answering. Best question? She wanted to know about my very first blog post, which went up about seven years ago. Thanks, Jenna!
The indefatigable Sarah Reinhard wrote a recommendation for CatholicMom.com’s Book Notes, and explains that my book is really about relationships. Yes indeed! Sarah has been incredibly helpful and encouraging as I muddle my way through this first book experience. Nothing makes me more fearful and downhearted than success, and Sarah scooped me up and set me back on the right path more than once in the last few weeks.
And finally, Cari Donaldson of Clan Donaldson took time away from LAUNCHING HER OWN BOOK to write this fantastic review of mine. Cari says,
There is a softness to Fisher’s writing here that is absolutely perfect for the topic at hand. There is a patience and gentleness and honest compassion that immediately draws you in, regardless of your experiences with NFP.
Don’t be mistaken, the voice is still authentically Fisher’s, and that humor that she is known for is used so, so well here, but there is a camaraderie evident in the pages that really took me aback. After all, as ridiculous as it sounds, by reading the comboxes following any article on NFP, you come away with a decided “us vs. them” mentality among people trying to faithfully live out their Catholic faith in all areas of their life.
With good-natured teasing of all sides of the spectrum (and including herself in that teasing), Simcha manages to put everyone at ease, the better to get to the nitty-gritty of the topic. NFP is a cross, and it’s a blessing and it takes things away and gives so much more, and it’s everything and nothing all at once. Because, as she points out in her chapter “The Golden Box”, what “God really wants is you. How you give yourself to Him is a much, much longer story”, of which NFP is only a part.
Thank you, Cari. I am just delighted.
If you want a real treat, order Cari’s new book, Pope Awesome and Other Stories: How I Found God, Had Kids, and Lived to Tell the Tale, coming out Nov. 5 from Sophia Institute Press.
Oh my goodness, just look at that cover! I was privileged to be able to read this book a few weeks ago, and I zipped through it. So entertaining, so endearing, so true. One of the most enjoyable conversion stories I have ever read.
Okay, so don’t forget to enter the contest! No entries accepted after noon, eastern time, tomorrow. Oh, and those bon bons which are part of the first prize? I had some yesterday. They are the best chocolates I have ever had. Indescribable.
