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I took a week off writing and forgot how to write.  So here are some miscellaneous word-thingies about life with our lovely Baby Benny, who is six days old today.

THE NAME:

We originally chose Benedict Renée Fisher, thinking “blessed and reborn” was pretty awesome, with the bonus of a tribute to our beloved pope and St. Benedict.  But then we realized her initials would be BRF, which any self-respecting sibling would immediately and permanently identify as BARF.  So Renée was out.

When it became clear that the little stinker intended to be born in December, and not November, we started to think about more Marian names.  Maribel is for Mary, of course, with a nod to Our Lady of Guadalupe (whose feast is one of three due dates I was given) because . . . um, it sounds kind of Spanishy.

I tried really, really hard to give birth on Dec. 7, but the pious child simply wouldn’t budge until the feast of the Immaculate Conception (two minutes into Dec. 8, to be exact).

Furthermore, when I was in early labor, I had the sudden idea to use the Sh’ma Yisrael(something I haven’t thought about in years) as a mental chant while doing my useless breathing exercises.  The Sh’ma is a short prayer derived from the Torah.  It’s sort of the anchor for all Jewish prayer:  “Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one.”  You say it in the morning and in the evening, and, if you can manage it, as your last words before you die.

So I went with it.  After the birth, my mother reminded me that Edith Stein, the great Jewish philosopher, who converted to Catholicism, became a nun, and was martyred in the Holocaust, took the name Theresa Benedicta with her vows.  So, Benedicta again!  This child has, at last count, four patron saints, including one with an apparent penchant for making cryptic suggestions to women in labor.

THE BIRTH STORY:

I hate, hate, hate giving birth, and this one was, to be honest, one of the most scary and unhappy labors and deliveries for me, although it’s hard to say why, since there were no medical complications and I had so much care and support from my husband, family, friends, and doctors.  So I will spare you the birth story, and instead I’ll take Jen Fulwiler’s advice and put it into haiku form:

THE BIRTH OF BENEDICTA MARIBEL

Everybody prayed,

And I appreciate it!

(I threw out those socks.)

And we got us one of these:

So that turned out okay.  Let’s see, what else?

THE OTHER KIDS:

The kids are all more or less bonkers over her.

Irene, who is 2 1/2, did not get the memo about how the birth of her baby sister would turn her little world upside down.  So far, the only thing that’s upset her is the horrible belly button — she burst into tears the first time she saw it, and we were all much relieved when the scary stump fell off.

Yesterday, she said, “Mama, fanks for building Benny in your belly.”

She and Lucy (the little ones at home) are slightly disgusted by my negligent care of the baby, and are constantly reminding me, “Remember, don’t sit on the baby!  I fink she’s hungry, Mama.  You should feed her.  Be careful, don’t get jelly on her.”

MY HUSBAND:

It’s a good thing I’m married to my husband, because it would be very awkward to be this much in love with a man who’s shown such tender, generous care and attention over the course of this year.  I had such wild expectations of how very happy we would be when we got married and had lots of kids, but this is more than I was even capable of imagining.  Thanks for the babies, Damien.  I love you.

AND EVERYTHING:

I’m so very, very behind in thanking everyone for all the prayers and good wishes on this blog, on the Register, and through Facebook and email.  Please do know that I was glad and grateful to read every one!  I know it’s not easy to spare prayers and concern for others when everyone’s lives are so full and complicated.  It’s truly wonderful to have so many friends, and to know that my little one is so welcome in the world.

And my wonderful mother-in-law, HM (I’m not being discreet — she goes by “HM”) dropped everything and cared for everyone for some long, long days while I got back on my feet (more or less).  And my daughter’s friend’s grandmother showed up with enough food for an army, just when I was thinking, “Ugh, can’t put off dinner any longer.”   And my parents made the trip to see their 36th (?) grandchild, bearing presents and bagels:

AND THIS IS AWKWARD, BUT:

Jen Fulwiler has been hosting a sort of virtual baby shower for me over at Conversion Diary, and even went to the trouble of collecting a few pieces I wrote.  Jen has been a constant, gracious, and genuine support for my writing for many years, despite her incredibly full schedule of speaking and writing profound but accessible insights into the spiritual journey of a modern convert!  I can think of no better way for me to show my appreciation for her than to let her write me a check after people send her money for me.

She also told me that I ought to tell you all about it (she will be taking the “donate” button down on Dec. 16), in case you accidentally forgot to spend enough money Christmas shopping this year, and have been wondering how to make your bank account a little more lithe and manageable.

Phew, there, I did it.  Let us never speak of this again!  Hey look, here’s another baby picture:

HEY, IT’S ALMOST ADVENT.  If that idea makes you panic, weep, or throw up, then this is the post for you.

My sister, Abby Tardiff, put together a very, very easy Advent activity  – as she says, “suitable for kids or grown-ups” — to help focus us on preparation for Christmas.  You can use it either as an Advent chain or as Jesse Tree ornaments.

I couldn’t figure out how to put the actual images in this post, but if you click on the link below, you can download the the word document, which is seven pages in black and white.

Advent chains

And here are my sister’s directions:

FOR USE AS AN ADVENT CHAIN:

Cut on the lines to make strips, and use a stapler to form the strips into paper

chains, which represent the chains of sin and death. Then each day of

Advent, starting this Sunday, remove one strip and read it. Except for

December 19, which is from the Canticle of Zechariah, they are all Old

Testament prophecies of the coming of the Messiah.

[For a more colorful version, tape the strips to purple or pink strips of construction paper, depending on what week you’re on.  It’s very nice for everyone, especially younger kids, to see the chain getting smaller and smaller as Christmas approaches; and little kids can take turns snipping the links and handing them to someone who can read.]

FOR USE AS JESSE TREE ORNAMENTS:

Each strip also has a Jesse Tree ornament (not related to the prophecy) on

it that you may color and cut out, and hang on a branch. The Jesse Tree

tells the history of Salvation, beginning with Creation and ending with

Emmanuel, God With Us. During Advent, we tell our children these stories,

because they tell why we need a Savior, and how God prepared the world for

His coming.

The last seven ornaments are the “O Antiphons” taken from the evening

prayers of those days. You can read about them here.

The hymn “O Come, O Come

Emmanuel” is based on the O Antiphons.

Feel free to pass these around. I chose the prophecies, but I kiped

uncopyrighted images from various places on the net.

Boy, we had to wait forever to spill the beans, but I’m very, very pleased to announce that

YOU CAN PRE-ORDER THE BOOK ON AMAZON!!!

What book? you ask.  The book that SIMCHA WROTE?

No, don’t be silly.  I can barely get up the energy to come up with a subordinate clause these days, never mind a whole book.

I did, however, write a chapter!

I dibsed the one on motherhood, since it will be years before my kids are old enough to get up the courage to express how misguided I was and how horribly I warped them with my stupid ideas about motherhood, and maybe the world will come to an end before I have to deal with it.

The book is

Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter

 and I am genuinely thrilled about the line-up of contributors!

Firstaball, it was conceived and edited by the astonishing Hallie Lord of Betty Beguiles.   Now check out the list of writers she assembled.  [NOTE:  This is the corrected list.  Sorry for the mix-up!]

Introduction and Afterward by Hallie Lord

and chapters by: Jennifer Fulwiler

 Karen Edmisten

Me!

Rachel Balducci

Annie Mitchell

Rebecca Teti

Hallie Lord

Betty Duffy

Danielle Bean

Barbara Nicolosi

I almost feel silly linking to these writers’ websites, because surely you already have them bookmarked.

Here’s the official summary:

In Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter, ten of the top Catholic female writers come together to offer tips, encouragement, and a bit of humor for their sisters in the trenches of daily life. From the difficulties of fitting in prayer time to the impact that lots of babies have on intimacy to the unique challenges of the single life, each author digs deep into the issues that real Catholic women think about. With the tone of a group of gals gathered around a bottle of wine, it is sure to be a hit with all Catholic women, whether they need practical tips in areas in which they struggle, words of encouragement, or just a bit of entertainment after a long day.

Did I mention that

you can pre-order the book,

and that it will be coming out in March of 2012?

It’s published by Our Sunday Visitor Press.  Thank you, Hallie, for including me in this project.

All right, there’s not actually any way I can pass off this styrofoam replica of a golden fertility idol

meant to resemble this one from Raiders of the Lost Ark

as remotely suitable for an All Saints’ Day party.  It does hold special meaning for me, though, because as I studied the above photo intently while jabbing at a ball of styrofoam with a spoon, I noted the exact moment when I began to freak out about giving birth.  (Yes, I censored the model I made, for reasons other than running out of styrofoam.  It’s for my 7-year old son, who asks enough questions as it is.)

Here’s a tip for you:  it’s harder than you’d think to make a golden idol out of styrofoam, tin foil, spray paint, duct tape, and a spoon.  But the boy is happy.

Anyway, for others who are still hunting for a way to send their kids trick-or-treating AND to an All Saints’ Day party, I have the solution.

Today you can see my interview with Sean Finnegan, director of the award-winning documentary Out Of the Darkness.  

The film wasn’t what I expected:  they didn’t try to make it interesting by showing censored or fleeting images of porn; and it wasn’t a tirade or a doom-and-gloom litany of devastating statistics.  Instead, it shows the human side of pornography, with interviews with a former porn star and a former porn addict, among others.  Good stuff, keeps your attention.  I would especially recommend it for youth groups and men’s groups, or for anyone who thinks porn is kind of no big deal.

(This post is a rerun from last year, posted mainly because maybe you want to make some suppli.  We do!)

—————————-

So, we celebrate Columbus Day here.  As I’ll be rehashing in the Register tomorrow, it’s not because I think he was a perfect man (there was only one of those.  We get His day off school, too), or because I think that his achievement brought unmitigated blessings to mankind.  Still and all, I’m glad to be on this continent, I’m glad to have a three-day weekend, and I love me some eye-talian food.

On the menu is bruschetta with various disgusting toppings that the kids won’t eat, mwa ha ha ha ha hahh (that was the sound of me contemplating eating it all myself), some kind of antipasto with intimidating salami, damp cheeses, muscular olives, and those awful marinated vegetables I can’t get enough of, bread sticks and probably spaghetti for the kids, probably mussels or something, suppli, cannoli with cherries and shaved chocolate, and Italian ices.  It’s possible that some wine might leap into the shopping cart all by itself, too.

As you can see, this is a pretty Americanized Italian feast.  That’s just my way of sticking it to l’uomo.  Take that, Columbus!  If you’re such a hero, how come we’re not eating . . . well, I tried and tried to think of some kind of authentic Italian food which sounds gross, but I really couldn’t.  Maybe something with, like, ox brains or something?  The worst thing I had to eat in Rome was rabbit, and that was only kind of awful because we thought it was chicken, until we realized the legs were bending the wrong way.  Oh, and there were some kind of snack food that was exactly like biodegradable packing peanuts.  Those weren’t very good — or filling, which was terribly important for a student who was living on about 70 cents a day.

Anyway, here is my recipe for suppli, which is what we had for lunch most days in Rome (one semester in college).  They cost 800 – 1,000 lire each, a few years before they switched –sniff sniff– to the Euro.  Normally, I wouldn’t touch a recipe with a secondary recipe in it, but this one is worth it, believe me!

(photo source)

SUPPLI

2 eggs

2 cups risotto (see recipe below)

4 oz. mozzarella in 1/2-inch cubes

3/4 cup bread crumbs

oil for frying

tomato sauce, if you like

Beat eggs lightly until just combined.

Add risotto and stir thoroughly, but do not mash rice.

If you want tomato sauce (this is how they were served in Rome), add it now – just enough to make it tomato-y, without thinning the mixture.

Form a ball about the size of a golf ball, make a little dent in it, stick a cube of cheese in the dent, and then add on another golf-ball sized lump of the rice mixture.  Form it all into a smooth egg shape.  Roll the whole thing in bread crumbs.  Do this until you use up all the rice mixture.

Refrigerate the balls for 30 minutes if you can, to make them easier to fry.

Heat oil to 375 degrees; preheat oven to 250 degrees.

Fry 4 or 5 balls at a time, about 5 minutes until they are golden brown.  The cheese inside should be melted.

Drain on paper towels, and keep the suppli warm in the oven while you are frying the rest — but these should be served pretty soon.

Risotto recipe:

7 cups chicken stock

4 Tbs butter

1/2 cup finely chopped onions

2 cups raw white rice

1/2 cup dry white wine

4 Tbs soft butter

1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

Set chicken stock to simmer in a pot.

In a large pan, melt 4 Tbs. butter – cook onions until soft but not brown.

Stir in raw rice and cook 1-2 minutes until the grains glisten and are opaque.

Pour in the wine and boil until wine is absorbed.

Add 2 cups of simmering stock and cook uncovered, stirring occasionally until the liquid is almost absorbed.

Add 2 more cups of stock and cook until absorbed.

If the rice is not tender by this point, keep adding 1/2 cups of stock until it is tender.

Gently stir in the 4 Tbs soft butter and the grated cheese with a fork.

It has come to my attention that I — I! — am the proud winner in The Crescat’s final year of her deliberately unpresitgious Cannonball Awards.  Here are the winners:

Best Blog by a Religious: Fr. Longenecker’s Standing on My Head

Best Political Blog: Adrienne’s Catholic Corner

More Catholic Than the Pope: Real Catholic TV

Best Armchair Theologian:Little Catholic Bubble

Best Visual Treat: Betty Beguiles

Most Church Militant: It’s a tie! Defend Us in Battle, and Cleansing Fire

Best New Kid on the Block: Heart For God

Best Blog by a Heretic: Bad Vestments

Best Under Appreciated Blog: Barefoot & Pregnant

Best Spiritual Treat: Blessed is the Kingdom

Bat Shit Crazy: I Have to Sit Down

Best Potpourri of Popery: Shoved to Them

Snarkiest Catholic Blog: Acts of the Apostasy

Most Hifreakinlarious: another tie! Acts of the Apostasy and The Ironic Catholic

Blog that Needs to be Updated More Often: Recovering Dissident Catholic

Yes, that’s right, I came in first, with a disturbingly wide lead, in the “Bat Shit Crazy” category.

I’m not going to argue.  All I can say is that if you knew my family, you’d know where it came from.  Case in point: a recent Facebook conversation, for which I laboriously learned how to take a screen shot (you press the “screen shot” button).

Click on the image to enlarge and behold . . . the bat shit craziness.

Anyway, many thanks to the fabulous Crescat, who could have won a fair number of these awards herself, if she weren’t too cool, and too busy moving to her new headquarters.  Don’t forget to check out her new art blog, too.