Tag: decorations

What’s for supper? Vol. 452: The road to heaven is paved with pavlova

Happy Friday! I am putting off going out into the blowing rain to bring a secret santa present in to a kid who forgot it. The kids are miffed about the rain in general, because it’s washing away all the snow right before Christmas. But I am not mad about the break from the freezing cold! So maybe I am looking forward to going out into the rain, after all. 

I should warn you, I’ve gotten VERY crafty lately. Some people feel guilty for not doing a lot of crafts at Christmas. Please don’t do that to yourself! I enjoy crafting, and that is literally the only reason I do it. No moral issues whatsoever, except that I’m trying to be better about cleaning up after myself afterwards, or at very least not getting so much glue on Damien’s work table. Ok, you have now been warned re: the crafts!

Here’s what we ate this week: 

SATURDAY
Leftovers and pizza pockets

Saturday was just a regular errands day, and I got my skeleton pals decorated for Christmas. 

Not the most creative display, but they look pretty cheerful. 

Saturday evening, I got busy and made ten little pavlova balls, a batch of lemon curd, a batch of raspberry coulis, and a dozen sugared raspberries. I’d been drooling over this recipe for pavlova bombs from Recipe Tin Eats, but it was too much work for a regular dessert, and no one in the family would want it for their birthday. NO ONE BUT ME, THAT IS. And it was almost my birthday! 

SUNDAY
Adults Chinese food; kids ravioli; pavlova bombs for all

Sunday after Mass, Damien had to work, but I spent a very pleasant afternoon stringing lights all over the living room and dining room and tree. Actually the tree part was less pleasant, because I thought and thought and thought about which way I wanted to string the lights together so that they would end up with the right end of the plug at the bottom, and I still messed it up. I think I probably plugged it into itself somehow, which helps no one. Also I was listening to my favorite Christmas album, but it was a bad connection and kept stopping and starting, and I was getting a little huffy. 

So I begged the kids to help me, and they obligingly got up and unstrung all the lights, so I could start over. While they were taking the lights off the tree, Damien came in, and they instantly started trying to convince him Christmas was over and he had slept through it.

And there we have the duality of teenagers: They are good kids, but they are terrible kids. 

Then Damien and I went out to eat! (My actual birthday was Monday, but weekend birthdays are better.) We had pork buns and egg rolls, and I had some kind of sizzling triple delight situation

and it earned its name. Then we came home and I put together the pavlova bombs!

 The reason I made the pavlovas the night before is because the way to keep them from cracking is to bake them, turn off the oven, and then leave them in there for a long time to cool down very, very slowly. So I left them in there overnight, and then took them out in the morning and covered them with plastic wrap. Then on Sunday evening, I whipped some cream and put the lemon and raspberry filing in pastry bags, and assembled the sugared raspberries and some mint leaves, and Benny chopped up some roast pistachios for me.

Here’s all the elements. Don’t the pavlovas look pretty? They’re so dainty and glossy, but they’re very stable.

To fill the pavlovas, I poked a hole with a skewer in the bottom and swizzled it around inside a bit to make room for the fillings. First I put in the raspberry coulis, which was pretty thin, so it was really more like letting it drip in, than piping it in. Then I piped in the lemon curd until the pavlova was full. Then I plugged the hole with a dab of whipped cream, turned it over, and topped it with a big blob of whipped cream. Then each one got garnished with a sugared raspberry, a few mint leaves, and a sprinkle of chopped pistachios. 

Prettiest thing I’ve ever made in the kitchen.

And when you break them open, they’re even prettier!

Absolutely fantastic. The two fillings were wonderfully tart, which was excellent with the sugary pavlova and the cool whipped cream. Then some of the spoonfuls also had the nuts and the mint, and wow, it was just luscious and exciting. The different flavors and textures played with each other SO well.

Nagi’s recipe is clear as a bell, and I have no questions or clarifications. My only tiny quibble is that the lemon curd has lemon zest in it, which is obviously great for the flavor, but not so much for the texture. At first I thought I had let the egg scramble while I was cooking the curd, but it was just the zest. This is the MINOREST of minor quibbles, though, and honestly, if I ever make this again, I’ll probably just follow the recipe exactly again. 

Then I got presents! I’m a little embarrassed to be 51 years old and still getting this many presents, but I really love getting presents, so this is what we do. Damien gave me a cheese-making kit, some gorgeous earrings, a special beautiful mug, and Brisbane by Eugene Vodolazkin; Benny gave me a drawing of Our Lady of Guadalupe; Lena gave me a storytelling card game; Sophia gave me some lovely enameled tin earrings; Clara gave me a wonderful mystical blue ceramic bowl she made, and Lucy gave me a pair of socks she knitted for me, with a skull pattern. 

Amazing gifts, every last one. Then we retired to watch the new Spinal Tap movie in bed, and it was so gently amusing that I feel asleep halfway through. 

Oh, one last thing! These sugared raspberries were so nice.

They’re super easy, but you have to make them ahead of time. You just brush them with egg white and then roll them in sugar. It’s supposed to be sanding sugar, which is more coarse and sparkly than table sugar, but I didn’t have any. The regular sugar turned out great. The raspberries have this fragile little sweet, crackly shell on them that feels really special. Definitely adding this into my arsenal for garnishing future fancy desserts. 

MONDAY
Chicken pot pie

Monday I gleefully took out the chicken pot pie I made made and froze before Thanksgiving. I left it wrapped in three layers of tinfoil and heated it up (without thawing it) for a few hours in a lowish oven, and then turned the oven up for about half an hour before supper, until I could hear the pie bubbling.

The very center was still a little cold, so I nuked it and it was great. 

Crust still flaky, filling nice and tender and tasty. I was very pleased. I adore chicken pot pie.

We decided that Tuesday would be a Fisher Flop Out day, because the logistics of getting to school were gonna be horrendous. So we stayed up a little late and watched Gremlins, because it turns out I’ve been caring too deeply about a lot of the wrong things most of my life, and it’s actually an okay movie, whatever. The story about how she found out Santa isn’t real gets me every time. 

TUESDAY
Aldi pizza

Tuesday, Damien and I took a kid for a long-awaited medical appointment out of state, and we are gone alllllll day. When we got back, Damien dropped me and kid off at home, then got some pizza and cooked it and I basically just ate pizza and flopped around exhaustedly and then went to bed. 

WEDNESDAY
Roast beef sandwiches, chips

On Wednesday, I cooked a hunk of roast beef in the morning, again following the first part of this recipe from Sip and Feast. I dry brined it with kosher salt, pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder for 90 minutes, then cooked it at 500 for 15 minutes, then turned it down to 300 and let it cook for another half hour or so. Then I let it cool, wrapped it in plastic wrap, and put it in the fridge. Cut up some tomatoes and put some nice smoked gouda on a platter, and put everything away. 

Then I set out and dropped off some paperwork, loaded a bunch of clothes into the dryer at the laundromat, picked up the kids, and went to . . . deep breath . . . Five Below and Old Navy and Barnes and Noble and Michael’s, and then back to the laundromat, and when we got home, BOY were my feet glad I had already mostly made supper. Damien sliced up the meat and we had lovely, lovely sandwiches. 

I put mine under the broiler to melt the cheese, then added the tomatoes and some horseradish sauce. An absolute delight of a sandwich. (You may recall that, last time I made roast beef sandwiches, the oven died before I could toast the bread properly, and then you may recall that the moment after Damien fixed the oven, the dryer broke. You are now all caught up with Fisher Appliance Calamities, except that the trick that makes my car start stopped working, and we think maybe the alternator damaged the battery. Whatever, it’s fine, it’s whatever!) 

That evening, I made 22 of these little 12-pointed paper stars. I made a little video to show how it’s done. 

While I snipped, I listened to Christmas With the Louvin Brothers 

which is just a great album. I prefer this so VASTLY over those smarmy 50’s cocktail lounge versions of these songs that everyone thinks of as essential Christmas music. Start your kids on this album young, so they’re not jerks about it when they get older! 

THURSDAY
Ham, peas, mashed potatoes

I really don’t know what I did all day Thursday. I think I slept late and then ???. Oh, I did some sad banking and then spent an absurdly long time trying and failing to buy a dryer. Like, I want to give Home Depot my money, and allegedly they also want that? But you’d never know it, by the way their website is. (BAD.) 

It was a rare day in which I hadn’t done any dinner prep, so thank goodness for ham. When we got home, I sliced it up and put it in a dish with some water, covered it with tinfoil, and put it in the oven to warm up (it was already cooked, and it heats up faster if it’s sliced) and then quickly made some mashed potatoes and heated up some peas. 

I didn’t take a picture, but here are twelve photos of the last twelve times I made this exact same meal, each time to wild acclaim from my family:

Nobody can open a bag of frozen peas like me, I tell you. 

Thursday night, I hung up all the stars I had made

The yellow ones are made with this paper from Michael’s that comes in four related shades in one pack. I used three different shades for each star, and I like the effect. I also got some red foil paper, and was annoyed to discover it is only foil on one side! Oh well. 

I also sliced up a bunch of oranges to dry. I put the slices on baking racks on a pan in a 250 oven for about two hours, flipping them every half hour or so.

They were still somewhat juicy at this point, but they were starting to get little brown marks from the racks, so I just left them out to air dry more overnight. 

FRIDAY
Fish tacos, guacamole

Oranges still a little damp! That’s okay; they’re dry enough to work with.

It’s raining, as I mentioned, but I was already kind of sweaty from yoga, so I went out and clipped a bunch of pine needles for some stars I want to make. I think the oranges, some cranberries, and these stars will make a really pretty garland. I like making Christmas decorations that will continue to look bright and pretty after Christmas, when there is still plenty of winter left and we will need some color. Here is a garland from a few years ago, that we left up long after Christmas: 

This one has oranges, lemons, limes, and grapefruit, but this year I’m just doing oranges. 

So then I discovered that the Christmas card I made for a dear friend, and which I had miraculously chased everybody in the house down to sign, had somehow gotten wet, and I set about making a replacement card and maybe went a little crackerdog over this for various reasons, at which point Damien suggested that HE could go to the laundromat, mail my card, drop off the forgotten secret santa present, go to adoration, and pick up the kids, and I didn’t even have to put pants on. Then he brought me some coffee and headed out into the rain. I guess I will go wipe the glue off his worktable, and then we will be even. 

We’ve heading into the home stretch of Chanukah

and I am thinking about blintzes and latkes and maybe sufganiyot. Heck, maybe I will make one or more of those tonight. The kids are not crazy about fish tacos, but nobody can resist a jelly donut. Yeah, I think I will make some jelly donuts. Usually I follow a King Arthur recipe, but I think I will try Smitten Kitchen’s version this year. Smitten Kitchen has been very good to us lately, and I like the looks of those donuts. 

Print

Rebecca's chicken bacon pie

Ingredients

  • double recipe of pie crust
  • 1 pound bacon, diced
  • 4 ribs celery, diced OR one big bunch of leeks, diced
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 bunch thyme, finely chopped
  • 3 chicken breasts, diced
  • 2-3 potatoes, peeled and diced
  • 6 Tbsp butter
  • 6 Tbsp flour
  • 3 cups concentrated chicken broth (I use almost double the amount of bouillon to make this)
  • 2 Tbsp pepper
  • egg yolk for brushing on top crust

Instructions

  1. Preheat the oven to 425.

  2. In a large pan, cook the bacon pieces until they are browned. Take the cooked bacon out and pour off most of the grease.

  3. Add the onion and celery to the remaining bacon grease and cook, stirring, until soft. Return the bacon to the pan.

  4. Add the thyme, pepper, and butter and cook until butter is melted. Add the flour and whisk, cooking for another few minutes.

  5. Whisk in the chicken broth and continue cooking for a few more minutes until it thickens up. Stir in the chicken and potato and keep warm, stirring occasionally, until you're ready to use it.

  6. Pour filling into bottom crust, cover with top crust, brush with beaten egg. Bake, uncovered, for about an hour. If it is browning too quickly, cover loosely with tin foil.

What fresh hell is this? It’s Pinterest Christmas 2016!

Feeling a dearth of burlap, foxes, chevrons, fairy lights, and mason jar lids in my life, I went on Pinterest to see what was happenin’.

I always start out with wholesome intentions, sincerely searching for neat DIY ideas. I even bought a set of plain glass balls, and I intend to spray paint them, using tiny paper snowflakes as stencils. As stencils! It is going to be pretty. Tell me it’s going to be pretty!

I start out, I say, with good intentions, looking for ideas that we will enjoy trying out; but I always end up calling my husband over for backup to help me mock stuff more thoroughly.

Because son, there is some stupid shit out there.

For your convenience, I’ve organized my thoughts into some basic rules to help you identify when you’ve slipped past DIY and landed smack in the middle of WTF, by which I obviously mean Where’s the Fphrenologist to feel your lumpy head and figure out what would impel you to follow through with some of these hideously inexcusable projects?

Things that would bring shame to hobos. Okay, so we all have failed crafts and stupid crafts and crafts that don’t turn out so great. That is fine. I have a number of them displayed around my house, because I have low standards.

But when I do come up with something lousy, I do not then use an expensive camera to take luxe photos of it and offer tutorials for how to recreate it in your own home. And not only because it didn’t occur to me! It’s because when you take a sweater and cut it up into heart shapes and then stick a paper clip through it, that’s not a cozy winter ornament. That’s garbage.

When kids make things that turn out a little rough and wobbly, that’s cute. When disabled people make things that are kind of naive and clunky, your heart is allowed to melt. But functioning adults are not allowed to just churn out crap and call it “adorable” just because it looks bad! Bad is bad! It’s not twee or offbeat or funky! It’s just bad! Bad bad bad!

(If you want to live a little, browse around in this chick’s site. Do not miss the confetti updo, which, the tutorial will instruct you, can be achieved by braiding your hair and then using your head to clean under the couch. In another spot, she instructs you to roast a turkey, cram some pom poms up its ass, and call it “festive feast.” I BET IT IS.)

Craft projects that require you spend $18 on a hobby store fake version of something people used to throw out back once the hogs were done with them. You know it must be within ten days of a major American holiday when local message boards are full of frantic pleas: Does anyone know where I can find wooden pallets? No, honey, nobody knows, because they have all been painted like terrible flags for the fourth of July, hung on the walls of pretentious condos for terrible wine racks, transformed into terrible herb planters in the front yards of people who wouldn’t know what to do with basil if grew with instructions right on the leaves, or tacked together by someone’s gloomy husband who would be perfectly willing to shell out cash for an actual, real, non-wobbly coffee table that doesn’t give you splinters, but now we have to spend all Thursday night sanding, and the Raiders are playing, too.

Leave pallets alone. Also milk bottles, mason jars, pre-weathered planks, and fruit crates. Gosh.

When you have a display, rather than decorations. Stores put up holiday displays. Businesses put up holiday displays. School children get together and work on a nice display together. But why are we doing this as individuals living in our homes? Why do we buy three shrink-wrapped bales of disinfected hay upon which to prop up some easily-identifiable symbols of the current holiday season in a studiously asymmetrical fashion, and set it up just to the left of the entrance to your home, and then forbid the children to play in the front yard because you’re trying to make it look homey with all those corn stalks you bought for eleven bucks a bunch? It’s your house, and you’re supposed to be living in it, not marketing it.

A small-scale rendition of this trend is when you take perfectly good stand-alone ornaments and tag them with keywords designed to snag maximum pageviews. You know what I mean: You have five glass balls in tasteful blue and silver, and that’s fine, but then you have to buy a special glass-writing marker and label each one with a Certified Holiday Word (without upper case letters or punctuation, of course, because we are having fun!). “Jingle” says one. “Merry,” explains another. “Star,” posits a third.

What? What? What is this for? This is stupid.  If you like jingling so much, maybe use a bell, eh, smartacus? This is one of those things that people only do because other people are doing it, so it seems normal and cute and pretty, but it’s not. It’s stupid and it’s making the word stupider.

Subset: those astronomically smug, oversized wall decals that literally spell out exactly what kind of family you are. “WE DO LOVE! WE DO MESSY! WE DO OOPSIE WOOPSIE DOO ON THE REGULAR! WE SHINE FULL TIME! LOOK AT MY WHITE TEETH! I DEMAND A GOLD MEDAL FOR NOT FLIPPING OUT WHEN CARTER DROPS A CRACKER ON THE CARPET! CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE YOU GET TO BE FRIENDS WITH US!” No, I can’t. Please give me my coat back; I really must be going. I think I left my humidifier running, and the cats are going to get all waterlogged.

Yeah, yeah, I know, they’re not there for guests. They’re there for the actual family, to remind them of their own ideals. Except they’re not. They’re totally there to impress people, along the lines of those “Another family for peace” bumper stickers. I’m going to start my own auto insurance company just to design a rider specifically to cover people who deliberately rear-end another family for peace.

 

Inedible food ornaments. This may just be a hangover from some stinging childhood disappointment, but I feel like it’s bad form to fill the house with marvellous scents and then not get to chew on anything. Gingerbread cookies? Those are for eating. Applesauce is also for eating, and not for compressing into little weird brick stars and hearts that only look like non-poop if you tell people, “Those are made of applesauce, you know!” I’ll make an exception for clove oranges, because they really are pretty, and they have a venerable past. But no more dried applesauce poop. It doesn’t make me mad, it just makes me sad. I like applesauce.

Complete non-ornaments that just stare baldly at you, daring you to wonder if this is, like, the lost and found shelf, or what. Skis, ice skates, sleds, bicycles, wagons, whatever. You are not TGIFridays, nor were meant to be. Just because you manage to hang it on your wall, that doesn’t magically transform them into decor. This offends my thrifty heart, and it also violates the whole “decoration vs. display” rule.

Now, if you’re trying to sell me on the idea that industrial design can be beautiful, that is one thing. I will actually go to a museum and look carefully at a very good toilet or a telephone or a circuit board, because I like design. But that is not what is going on here. What is going on here is that some deranged housewife gets it into her head that anything that is no longer for sale at full price at Bed, Bath and So Forth must be automatically nostalgic, and therefore decorative. My only comfort is that deranged people are bad at hanging stuff, so it will probably fall down at some point and hit somebody. Kapow! Where’s your nostalgia now?

 

Things made out of books.  Okay, so if the book was going to be destroyed anyway, that’s fine. But the thing that gets me is “She loves books so much, she made a whole chair out of them!” Hey, that’s great. I’m entirely blown away with your thorough grasp of the purpose of the written word! Or maybe you love books so much that you cut them up into bits and torture them into a gluey diorama depicting a scene from that book, that’s how much you love books!

Super duper. Remind me not to let you babysit my kids. Yes, I know you said you love kids. I heard you.

***

In closing:  Yes, I write things like this because I am a bitter, unhappy person who finds fulfillment in criticizing others, even though their behavior in no way impacts my life. Please pray for me.

Yes, mason jars are still a thing, still. I checked.