The bathing suit post that is not about modesty!

First of all, for that ^^, this

 

is for me.

Second of all, I agree wholeheartedly with every last word in this post in . . . the Huffington Post:

Moms, Put on That Swimsuit. The writer (who, in the picture, is not at all fat! But shefeels like she is, and that’s what counts) says:

I refuse to miss my children’s high-pitched, pool-induced giggles because of my insecurities.

I refuse to let other women’s judging eyes at the pool prevent me from exposing my kids’ eyes to the wonder of the sun glittering on the water.

I refuse to let my self-image influence my children’s.

I refuse to sacrifice memories with my children because of a soft tummy.

Because at the end of the day, it is not just about me.

It is about my kids.

I want them to remember twirling in the water with their mom.

I want them to remember splash fights together.

I want them to remember jumping off the edge of the pool into my arms.

I want them to remember that their mom was there, with them.

This resonates with me so much more than all of that “YES! YOU HAVE A BIKINI BODY! LOVE YOUR BODY, NO MATTER WHAT! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO BE BEAUTIFUL!”

More than once last year, I just felt too damn fat to put on a bathing suit. Just couldn’t do it. So I would go to the beach with the kids, and they would ask me to take them in the water and do that swishing thing, or catch them when they jump off the big rock — and I couldn’t, because I didn’t have a suit on.

They were crushed. It didn’t make any sense to them. Why would you not wear your swimsuit to the beach?  And they were right. Yeah, there are skinny, perky teenagers at the beach. Yeah, there are other moms who are frolicking around with their kids, and they’re wearing the same size bikinis as their toddlers. Not even with stretch marks! How do they even do that? And here I am, and I weigh more than I did when I was nine months pregnant with the youngest kid, who is now 2 1/2. How did I even dothat?

More to the point, who cares? Feel fat? Stay in the damn water. No one will see you, and you can feel light and graceful for once. Sitting on the sand getting gritty and trying to tug your shorts and tank top over your flabby bits while the kids beg you to jump in? That is a great way to have a lousy afternoon.  If you want to be attractive, have fun. Laugh and be happy. That’s beautiful, even when you’re fat.

Granted, it also helps a lot to have a suit that I don’t absolutely hate! Last year, I got the Catalina Shirred Halter Swimsuit from Walmart.com.

 

 

The fabric is a little bit chintzy, because it is a cheap suit, but the cut is so flattering, and so is the shirring. It has more support in the bust than any halter top I’ve seen; and it covers all the right spots without being a floppy swim tent.

I remember suit shopping in the 80′s! Boy, is it gratifying to have some choices for people who are neither Denise Austin nor Mother Superior. I also bought a Land’s End suit, but I actually like it less than the Walmart one.

Have you found a suit you’re happy with? Share it here!

At the Register: Babies as Teachers

Skeptics may groan at yet another extraneous, feel-good program, where tax dollars are squandered on things that parents ought to be teaching at home. Teachers should spend their precious class time teaching math, reading, and science, right?

But others believe that an increase in empathy is not only desirable for life in general, but it also makes for a better learning experience. Kids who have participated in Roots of Emphathy bully each other less; kids are calmer and more respectful of the teacher and of others; kids feel more free to ask questions and to work on problems that they don’t immediately understand. They are learning, in short, how to live with other people, and how to live with themselves.

Read the rest at the Register.

What did you almost name your kid?

The other day, my groceries were scanned by a woman whose nametag said “Alma.” I almost told her that I wanted to name my daughter that; but then I realized that, if she’s anything like every other Alma I’ve ever met, she just wants me to take my receipt and go away.

Anyway, when I come across someone with a name we decided against nine times, sometimes I’m relieved (“Whew! Dodged that bullet”) and sometimes I’m wistful (“Just think, that could have been ours . . . “). Truly, I feel like all my kids have the perfect name for them. For a few of our kids, it’s almost uncanny: Clara, for instance, turned out to be remarkably clear-eyed and fair skinned, unlike all the other kids. But I supposed people just grow into names, so it’s hard to say if a name is really ideal, or just very familiar.

A few of the names I pushed for, and my husband didn’t like: Ada, Delia, Beryl. A few of the ones I’m pretty glad he didn’t go for: Oceania, Moselle. (Look, I was young, okay?) He also liked Edith, which I could never warm up to, although Edie is a sweet nickname.

Of course, nothing can beat my husband’s own dodged bullet. His mother had a boy’s name picked out when she first got pregnant, but she had a girl first, so she couldn’t use the name. Then she had another girl, and then another girl. By the time he was born, she realized that she really oughn’t name him . . . Huckleberry John.

 

 

PIC baby aghast

HA. How about you? What’s in your discard pile? Do you know what you almost got called?

PSA: How to get contact lenses with an expired prescription

A few weeks ago, I ran out of contact lenses, tried to order more, and discovered that there is a stupid federal law that says they can’t fill prescriptions that are more than two years old. Okay, yes, it is a prescription and we can’t have prescriptions flying around all willy nilly. But these are contact lenses we’re talking about. It’s not as if, because there is no proper medical oversight, I’m going to succumb to a fit of melancholy and OD on Acuvue Advance with Hydraclear.

Anyway, here’s the solution: order lenses from Canada. They are quite a bit more expensive than the lenses I can buy in the states, but it’s still cheaper than going in for a new exam. I got mine from GlobalLens.com, and they arrived nine days after I ordered them.  I’m not getting a kickback or anything. Just sharing a tip in case you find yourself squinting at half the world like I was.

And here is a picture to remind us that everything is sexy, even sticking things on your eyeballs. Especially sticking things on your eyeball.

 

PIC woman sexily putting in contact lessons “Whoa mama. You put on that severe astigmatism just for me?”

Dr. Greg Popcak on marriage after baby

I’m putting together an article for Our Sunday Visitor about how marriages change after a baby is born — the good, the bad, and the things that need professional intervention (spiritual and otherwise). Dr. Greg Popcak gave me some wonderful information, and he has reprinted our entire interview on his blog. Here’s an excerpt:

Simcha: I assume you mostly work with Catholic couples. Is the strength of a couple’s faith a good predictor for how well they can work through their problems? This sounds like a softball question – like, “yes yes, of course when we are faithful, we will find life’s burdens light” – but I’m really curious, because I know that a strong religious faith doesn’t always translate easily or directly into good emotional health or strong relationships. 

Dr. Greg: You’re right.  In fact, many faithful couples who have more rigid role expectations may struggle more with birth than other couples.  If you tend to be of the mindset the God made men to do X and women to do Y and never the twain shall meet, you may tend to fail to be there for each other, take on too much for yourself, and make excuses for behavior that would be otherwise inexcusable.

Faith tends to be helpful when it is expressed, not as “rules to live by” but rather as “a call to be generous and understanding regarding each other’s needs.”  Babies have a way of stretching your comfort zones.  If your faith helps you deal with that and respond accordingly, both your faith and relationships will become healthier as you grow as a person.  But if your faith is mainly about having hard and fast rules to live by, you might not adapt as well to the unpredictability that comes with post-baby life.

Good stuff, with lots of practical advice — things we learned the hard way, and are still working on learning. Read the rest here.

I will post a link to the finished OSV article when it comes out; and also keep an eye out for Popcak’s newest book, written with his wife: Then Comes Baby:  Surviving and Thriving in the First Three Years of Parenthood  (Ave Maria Press–Nov 2014).

Summer Drawing Club starts now!

Sorry for the slow start, everyone! We are still in school, because we had so many snow days this year. I did get my book, and some of my kids (ages 14, 13, and 8) have agreed to join me. Lots of readers are planning to participate! I’m really excited.

Here’s a recap: a bunch of us are going to go through the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain to beef up our drawing and looking skills. The idea is that, while some people have a natural, inborn talent, just about anyone can learn to be a competent artist. People who follow this course typically see dramatic improvement in their drawing skills. Here are some “before and after” examples from the book:

 

It’s not a gimmick; it’s just system for learning how to think in a new way about what you see.  (There is a workbook available, but it covers the same material as the book, and it is not necessary to buy both. I have only bought the book.)

Every week, I’ll post pictures of our drawing results, and I will set up a blog link-up thingy, so anyone who wants to join in can provide a quick link to his blog (or Tumblr, or Flickr, or any other image hosting site), and we can all see each other’s pics — kind of a virtual drawing club. LOW PRESSURE. FUN. This is just meant to be a pleasant change from the things we spend our time thinking and doing every day. No criticism, just encouragement!

So, there is still time to order your book, if you would like to join in.

You don’t need expensive, professional materials – just regular paper, pencil and eraser will be fine. The first lesson includes a self-portrait, so you will need a wall mirror and a hard surface to draw on.

Read through the introduction and first chapter, and then do the exercises in chapter two. It says it will take about an hour to do all three drawings. Don’t worry about being a super duper artist! The point of these first drawings is to leap in, and to give yourself something to compare your later work to.

The first Summer Drawing Club Link-Up will be next Tuesday, June 24. I hope you can join us!

At the Register: Baby Got Backstory

MR. BAX AND HIS TOXIC BEANS. In this groundbreaking docufairytale, a race of strong, gentle beings lives undisturbed, practicing basic hygiene and relying on essential oils and whatnot to keep them in good health and systemic balance in their home in the clouds — until Big Pharma, headed by the nefarious Dr. Bax, dupes the gullible population on the ground into believing in “Magic Bax Beans” or, as they come to be known, “Baxeans.” Because of these beans, which grow and proliferate at a $u$piciou$ rate, the peaceful lives of the gentle giants are infiltrated and disrupted forever, and everybody falls down and dies.

If, for some reason, you wish you read the rest, you can find it at the Register.

Theologians: Yes, the baby came back to life through the intercession of Fulton Sheen

It’s official! Another hurdle crossed before canonization.

The Most Reverend Daniel R. Jenky, CSC, Bishop of Peoria and President of the Archbishop Fulton Sheen Foundation, received word today that the seven-member theological commission who advise the Congregation of the Causes of Saints at the Vatican unanimously agreed that a reported miracle should be attributed to the intercession of the Venerable Servant of God Archbishop Fulton Sheen. The case involved a stillborn baby born in September 2010. For over an hour the child demonstrated no signs of life as medical professionals attempted every possible life saving procedure, while the child’s parents and loved ones began immediately to seek the intercession of Fulton Sheen. After 61 minutes the baby was restored to full life and over three years later demonstrates a full recovery.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Bonnie Engstrom, the mother of that resurrected baby who grew into this happy, healthy guy:

 

Next up: the case is reviewed by cardinals and bishops, and then by Pope Francs himself.   Come onnnn, Fulton Sheen! Congratulatons, Engstrom family!

There, there.

It’s just part of aging; comes with the territory.

When she was just a little girl, I asked my readers . . .

What will she be?

 

 

What happened was, a compassionate friend sent me a “There, there” bottle of Tanqueray, and my five-year-old immediately got a fork and pried off the red seal. Benny wanted one, too. So she muscled open the fridge, found a bottle of wine and a fork. When I asked what she was doing, she struck this pose.

I feel like there is . . . something . . . in the future for this kid. But what? Will she be a pirate? Scourge of heretics? Doctor of the Church? Crazy fork lady? All of the above?