A Pope Francis headline that would shock me

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Pope Francis Refuses to Meet with [ANYBODY].

That would be news. That would be a headline.

That’s not gonna happen.

No, you can’t imagine Benedict having a private meeting with a transgendered person and fiancee. That’s because Benedict was a different kind of pope, who had a different mission. Francis is doing different good things besides the kind of good things that Benedict did. And if you think that Benedict resigned with the understanding that the conclave would elect a Benedict clone, and was shocked and horrified to discover that Francis is a different kind of man from him, then you’re either horribly naive, or think Benedict was horribly naive. I vote for the former.

Francis meets with everybody he thinks he can talk to. Everybody. Everybody. At least so far. So let’s stop being shocked and astonished that he keeps doing the thing that he keeps doing. Let’s stop trying to figure out what it could possibly mean to us, and start thinking about what it could possibly mean to the people he’s meeting. Your outrage is not going to change his behavior. But maybe his behavior can change the way you think about about what the modern Church has to offer to the modern world.

Look, it’s news when something interesting happens; I get it. So go ahead and write the headline: Pope Francis Has Private Meeting with Non-Saint. But don’t make up a story to go under that headline — a story like, “Is Church on the Verge of Going Queer?” or “In Latest Outrage, Francis Undermines Traditional Marriage.” A legitimate story might go, “What could Francis be intending, based on everything else he’s said and taught?” That could actually lead somewhere.

We don’t know what happened in that private audience. What we do know is that this is a very personal pope, who believes in meeting people whom the world believes the Church despises. He’s going to keep meeting with people. Everybody. Everybody. He’s not going to get over it, so maybe we should.

O mother, what is it to be a man? Sex ed at the Fishers

Newberry_County,_South_Carolina._Clean_seed_being_bagged_after_going_through_two_cleaning_machines_._._._-_NARA_-_522795

On the way home from a Scooby Doo birthday party, my punky little daughter suddenly says, “Mama, how do wimmin get preg-a-nent?”

She is kid #7, and I honestly can’t remember how much she already knows, so I start vague: “Oh, well, when a man and a woman love each other very much [shut up, that’s a fine way to start this conversation!], one way they show each other that they love each other is they can put their bodies together in a very special way, and if the timing is just right, then the man can start to make a baby grow inside the woman.”

She says, “Okay. But how do they come together?”

I said, “Well, you know how [OH GOSH I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW] people have private parts on their bodies? And you know how a man’s private parts are different from a woman’s private parts? Well, they are different because they are made to fit together. Like a lock and a key. Does that make sense?”

Her: “Yyyyyes. . . . ”

Me: “So, it’s a very good thing if they love each other and they are married to each other, and they decide to make their private parts fit together in a nice way. And a thing that is almost like a seed comes out of the man’s body, and finds a spot inside the woman’s body. It’s almost like she’s a garden, and she lets him plant a seed in her garden to grow a baby. Isn’t that nice? Does that answer your question?”

Her: “Yeah. So, basically, a man is, like, a seed bag.”

Sorry, men. I tried. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard a man called!

Due to knuckleheadedness on my part, baby shower is still on!

As my previous post demonstrates, we are exactly the kind of people who should be having more children. Luckily for you, we not only are having another girl, but we honestly truly really still haven’t settled on a name yet. The due date is Feb. 26.

Luckily for me, Rebecca Frech of Shoved To Them is hosting a vitual baby shower for me, where you can leave your suggestion for a baby name.

name the baby

Yarr, I totally forgot that I was supposed to pick a winner, and I totally forgot to mention that dear Rebecca is offering a $15 Starbucks gift card as a prize! I blame the baby.

So, how about if I choose a winner this coming Friday? So please stop by and make a suggestion! The names we’ve already used are:

Lena Mary
Dora Fidelia
Clara Petra
Moses John Paul
Elijah Trinity
Sophia Mercy
Lucy Hope
Irene Penelope
Benedicta Maribel

And in the meantime, if you were moved by the spirit to maybe throw a few dollars my way, I’d be very grateful. Rebecca has a PayPal button on her blog. (Thank you, so much, to all the generous folks who have contributed so far! I have send thank-you notes to everyone using the email address provided by PayPal, so I hope they all went through.)  We are set for clothes and diapers, but not so much for the paychecks I’ll be missing while I recover. I get as much maternity leave as my boss thinks the organization can afford. Unfortunately, I am a freelancer, and I’m my own boss, and my human resources policies are downright inhumane. Is outrage! Don’t put up with this kind of shabby treatment of American motherhood! And so on.

Fanks.

 

Mom, we’re out of salted butt.

I finally got around to taping a note pad to the refrigerator, so people can let me know when we run out of stuff, and I can buy more. So this is what I get:  list

SALTED butter YES! pencil lead red beans Salted Butler Salted Butt you’re a butt -yes-

And here I thought that butt was the one thing we had plenty of.  Also worth noting: some of these items are in my husband’s handwriting.

March for Life, in person or in spirit

on the day you were born

 

As massive as the crowds of pro-lifers are at the March for Life, there are even more of us at home, commemorating this dreadful anniversary in various ways.

Read the rest at the Register. 

Supreme Court will not hear confession confidentiality petition

confessional

By Ib Rasmussen (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Not good: U.S. Supreme Court will not hear Baton Rouge Catholic confession case.

Backstory: A young woman is going to testify in a civil suit against the Diocese of Baton Rouge. She says that, when she was a girl, she revealed during confession that a member of the parish (who has since died) was molesting her, and that the priest told her she should hush it up.

Every priest who hears something during confession is morally obligated not to reveal what he heard during that confession. So if this woman testifies that he told her not to speak about her abuse, he may neither confirm nor deny that she said what she claims she said, or that he responded the way she says he did; and he may go to jail for refusing to testify.

So the diocese asked the federal Supreme Court to consider their petition to prevent her from testifying about what was said during the confession, and to prevent the priest from being compelled to respond to her testimony. Yesterday, the Supreme Court declined to hear the diocese’s petition.

I previously didn’t understand why it was dangerous for the woman to be allowed to testify about her confession, because I erroneously believed that a penitent may release a confessor from the seal of confession. I thought that she would simply have to give her permission for him to testify, and that he would then be free to confirm or deny what she said in the confession; but this is not so:

Can.  983 §1. The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner and for any reason.

If a penitent wishes to discuss something he or she revealed during confession, he or she must have the conversation again, restating the issue outside of the sacrament. That is the only way that a confessor may morally discuss the topic that was confessed: if he hears the information outside of the seal of confession.

The young woman is, of course, still free to have a second conversation with the priest, and the priest would then be free to testify about that second conversation; but what is at issue is what happened in the original conversation, years ago.

Please note that there is no reason to believe that the young woman is lying about what she told the priest or about what he told her. The diocese is not trying to impugn her reputation, and we should not assume that its goal is to protect a guilty priest. The point is that the seal of confession is there to protect both the priest and the penitent. If the seal of confession may be legally violated, it would prove disastrous both for priests and for penitents, who have both always understood that what they say in the confessional is known only to themselves and to God. Jen Fitz explains, with her usual clarity and concision, why the seal of confession is vital for the safety of both the priest and the penitent.

If the woman’s testimony is allowed, then priests will constantly be in danger of having to remain silent in the face of accusations against them. I could make up any dreadful story about what happened inside a confessional, and a priest would not be able to defend himself. They would have to choose between going to jail and endangering their own souls by betraying their vows.

A well-trained confessor can find a way to get help for someone who has been victimized. It is not necessary for anyone’s safety to destroy the long-standing legal respect for the seal of confession.

About the Pope’s “don’t be like rabbits” remark UPDATED

Peter-rabbit

 

 

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

First, kudos for Erin of Bearing Blog for spurring me to reread the full transcript of the Pope’s recent in-flight remarks. He didn’t precisely say “Catholics shouldn’t be like rabbits” (and he never used the word “breed” at all). What happened was that the reporter asked him what he thought about the idea that so many in the Philippines are poor because of the Church’s ban on contraception. The Pope replied:

God gives you means to be responsible. Some think that — excuse the language — that in order to be good Catholics, we have to be like rabbits. No. Responsible parenthood. This is clear and that is why in the Church there are marriage groups, there are experts in this matter, there are pastors, one can search; and I know so many ways that are licit and that have helped this. You did well to ask me this.

Another curious thing in relation to this is that for the most poor people, a child is a treasure. It is true that you have to be prudent here too, but for them a child is a treasure. Some would say ‘God knows how to help me’ and perhaps some of them are not prudent, this is true. Responsible paternity, but let us also look at the generosity of that father and mother who see a treasure in every child.

So, yes, if you read the entire context, he wasn’t saying, “The Church thinks you shouldn’t be like rabbits.” He was saying, “Some people think the Church teaches this, but it doesn’t.” A subtle distinction, a fairly important one . . . and an unfortunately quotable phase that just screams to be misunderstood.

Francis Phillips of the Catholic Herald UK says pretty much what I thought when I read the stories about the Pope’s interivew: This is really nothing new, but yikes. Phillips:

[W]hile I knew exactly what Pope Francis was actually saying, I still groaned. … Those people who read and listen to the secular press and who already have their own prejudices against Church teaching, will remember and repeat the word “rabbits” like a mantra, while we Catholics will sigh and point out as patiently as possible that that the Church has always taught “responsible parenthood” – and indeed, the Pope mentioned this too, during that hour-long meeting with reporters on his flight home.

What the Holy Father implied was that “responsible parenthood” is what matters, not specific family size. This will be different in each family and with each couple; while the use of artificial contraceptives is intrinsically life-denying it can also be irresponsible to have children thoughtlessly, without regard to issues of health and family circumstances.

But the problem with these remarks, unless they are carefully developed and explained within the context of Catholic teaching, is that they might cause confusion, not only outside the Church but also inside, among faithful families. Yes – people can have large families from selfish motives, just as they can limit their families from selfish motives. But what about large Catholic families, struggling to do what is right in their circumstances and under the normal pressures and demands of family life? They might, wrongly, take the Pope’s remarks personally and worry that they are being profligate and irresponsible. They have taken the biblical words “Go forth and multiply” seriously, at great personal sacrifice. They have already, in our secular society, been dismissed as “breeding like rabbits”; the Pope’s remarks will seem to undermine them, however much this was not intended.

Yup. He wasn’t advocating contraception, and he wasn’t saying small families are better than big families. He said things that are true, but he said them in a way that gives ammunition to people who are sloppy thinkers, or who are unmotivated to find out what the Church really teaches, or who are looking for justification to hate the Pope. Which is just about everybody.

Look, this is our Pope. He’s kind of a blabbermouth, and sooner or later, he’s going to irritate just about everybody. And no, this isn’t the first time he’s said something that makes me go, “Oy.” All the more reason to pick your head up out of the constant stream of gabble in the media from time to time, take a deep breath, and focus on your own family and your own spiritual life, rather than diving headfirst into the outrage du jour. (And yes, that means you might end up reading my blog less. Go ahead, I can take it!)

Anyway, Phillips was nice enough to recommend my book as an antidote to some of the confusion over what the Church actually teaches about family size, and how to balance the seemingly contradictory ideas of responsibility and generosity. I do hope that it helps!

I guess if Catholics want the beautiful teaching of the Church to be better understood by a skeptical world, then it would behoove us to spend our energy, you know, using these dust-ups as an opportunity for sharing and explaining that teaching, rather than constantly bitching about the Pope.

Francis Fudd

That being said, maybe it’s just my aching tailbone talking, but I’m thirty-six weeks pregnant with baby #10, and something cranky in me wants this to lead off the Pope’s next in-flight movie:

I’m multiplyin’, see? I’m multiplyin’!

Raising safe, independent kids

It’s good and natural for parents to want to keep their kids safe, but it’s healthy for the entire family to acknowledge that our main job as parents is to prepare kids for the rest of their lives. A kid who has never learned to judge for himself when it’s safe to cross the street is a kid who is unsafe.

Read the rest at the Register.

Sheenazing, MLK, Satan’s Fanboi, Theology of the Scarves, etc.

1. I’ve been nominated for two categories in the annual Sheenazing Awards! Bonnie Engstrom’s blogger awards are always fun, and I always discover new and interesting blogs to read. Check it out, and vote for your favorites! Thanks to whoever nominated me!

2. Don’t forget to tune in for Mark Shea’s “Connecting the Dots.” I’ll be co-hosting today, from 5-6:00 Eastern. You can stream the show here. Today is a special day, for today is the first time I typed out “Connecting the Dots” first, rather than “Connecting the Dogs” and then having to correct it.

For goodness’ sake, would it kill you to call in? Someone has to break up me and Mark laughing like hyenas over our own jokes. 1-855-949-1380 We will probably be discussing MLK, Jr. and the prolife movement, why the Pope hates babies and is Satan’s greatest fanboi, and other things along those lines.

3. I discovered a new blog today: The Society of Canadian Catholic Bloggers. This one really made me laugh: Theology of the Body Weekend Well Received.

“There are good guys out there,” said [one participant]. “Men who will love you like Christ does His Church, men who will not give into their selfish desires, but who will serve women as they are meant to.”

“Men need to overcome their sexual desires,” chimed in another. “That was the main theme of the weekend.”

“Where are the men like St. Joseph?” asked yet another young woman to the nods of her gathered friends.

“The best thing about a conference like this is getting all the answers up front. Now I know exactly what to tell my future husband.”

Check out the scarves in the photo. So many scarves! And man, it takes guts to write satire that most people do not realize is satire. The list of things that should Never Ever Be Giggled About is really so very small; but somehow, Theology of the Body makes the list pretty often. Because there certainly isn’t anything funny about a bunch of earnestly horny teenagers sitting in a circle in the church basement, getting so worked up over the beauty of chastity that it sets off the smoke alarms, not to mention all the young women who really, truly expect that their someday husbands can be educated into being St. Joseph.