Relics are friends

Do you have trouble focusing at Mass? Does your attention wander, and do you find yourself forgetting why you’re there and what you’re doing?  

May I recommend worshipping with 18 saints? That’s what has helped me.  

Here’s how that came about. As I describe in Our Sunday Visitor, I found a first-class relic of St Helen and a second-class relic of St Peter’s own altar at a second-hand store.  

I paid six dollars to rescue them, got them restored and authenticated, and then set about learning why these little bits and pieces of bodies and cloth are so central to our faith.  

I ultimately turned the relics I found over to my pastor, who put them together with 16 other relics another parishioner had donated, and now all of them are in two glass cases at the altar. And we all go to Mass together: St Helen and St Peter, Sts Bridget, Bernadette, Peregrine, Anthony, Maria Goretti, Mary Magdalen, Monica, Augustine and Cecilia, Therese of Lisieux, and the apostles Phillip, Thomas, James, Bartholomew, Andrew and John, and me.  

I did not anticipate how moving it would be to see them all there, and to be there with them, with the Lord. 

I grew up in a Catholic home and had some exposure to relics, but I never really understood why the heck the church was so involved with them. I knew we were supposed to avoid treating them like magic talismans, and I understood that they were holy, but it always felt a little bit embarrassing – the kind of thing you have always done in your family but you gradually realize nobody else does; and when you ask your parents why you do it, they don’t have a good explanation.  

It felt like something that wasn’t sacred, because it was clearly a scrap of something with a little glue; but it also wasn’t profane (in the sense of ordinary and everyday), because it was a saint. It felt like something that should be hidden away, something that I would simply rather not deal with.  

It feels very different now.  

One of the things I learned, as I researched this piece, is that Catholics (and before that, ancient Jews) have always cherished and venerated physical relics of their holy dead, even – or especially – when the rest of the world found that practice creepy or dangerous or just kind of gross.  

We just really like our saints, and we like being with them, and ever since God came to earth and took on a body like ours, it just makes sense for a people who believe in the Incarnation to worship God together with bodies of the saints – not only after they die, but especially after they die.  

Because they are dead, we know they are on to something better, something we can anticipate if we stick close to them. It’s a whole group effort: Some of us are in heaven, some of us still on earth; some of us have passed into eternity, and some of us are just making our way through the 9:30am Mass on a Sunday in October; but we are all still doing the same thing, visibly together, before God. 

Seeing the relics displayed on the altar helps me tap into the mysterious gravity of what we are doing when we assemble in the church.  

When I start to feel that vague, rambling, everyday sensation, I try to remember to glance up at the altar and see the relics of the saints who are enjoying the Beatific Vision RIGHT NOW, silently but unmistakably joining in to our imperfect human form of worship here in my little New England parish. I feel, for the first time, like this august collection of saints are my friends.  

Me from 20 years ago would have rolled my eyes at this. … Read the rest of my latest for The Catholic Weekly

The anonymous communion of saints

Facebook has only recently started allowing anonymous posts and comments, and several groups I’m a member of are taking it hard. Is it good or bad for the group to let people post without revealing their true names? Not everyone agrees.

The benefits are pretty obvious, especially if it’s the kind of group meant for support and advice. For reference, I’m in groups for mothers of large families, women using natural family planning, Catholic women in perimenopause, women trying to exercise more, parents of diabetic kids and people with backyard ducks. People who post anonymously will frequently open by saying why they’re doing it: because friends or family are in the group, and their situation is private, or often because there’s something they really need to know, but they’re embarrassed to ask. There is a situation they need some insight on, but they’re ashamed that this is their life right now. Or they just need a prayer.

The drawbacks of anonymity are harder to define. Most of the groups I’m in don’t have a problem with people being overtly nasty or threatening while hiding behind anonymity, but the use of anonymity, even for more polite conversation, is still not popular with everybody. Why?

One woman explained it is because people still post asking for support, advice, clarity and prayer, but you never get to know them. You get little snippets of their lives and little fragments of their stories, generally in a time of crisis—and that’s it. Even if there is a follow-up, it won’t include the kind of details about their lives that help us bond with one another. You never get to enjoy one of those indisputably real online friendships that lasts years and years as you learn more and more about each other, and you certainly never win that cherished prize of the internet age: meeting online friends in person. One woman who was arguing that the moderators of one group should disable anonymous commenting said that it is preventing her from building community. The group had the potential to become a band of friends, but it was staying a loosely associated bundle of anonymous problems.

It is an understandable complaint! It is hard to spend the intellectual and emotional energy answering someone’s question when you know the relationship, such as it is, is not going to go anywhere. Interaction with other human beings takes something out of us, and it is normal and human to be more invested when you get something in return—not anything sinister or grasping, just wholesome goods like friendship and camaraderie.

But if you are going to be a member of a group—especially a group that explicitly calls itself Catholic—I think it is good spiritual practice to humbly accept other people’s anonymity, if that’s what they choose. It dovetails very nicely with our doctrine of the Communion of Saints: We are all bound together and responsible for one another, even in situations where there is no obvious or immediate reciprocity. Think of it as social asceticism: praying for the intentions of someone whose name you’ll never know; praying for an intention whose details will never be fleshed out, simply because praying is good and we want to be good.

More than that: I think it is good spiritual practice to accept the idea that, even as we are all bound together as brothers and sisters in Christ, we are all, to one degree or another, strangers to each other. … Read the rest of my latest for America Magazine

Image via PxHere (public domain)

Think globally, like the Church, and vaccinate

I used to be hesitant about vaccines. I defiantly told my pediatrician that I’d “done my homework” and wouldn’t be needing about half the vaccines on the list. I didn’t think my particular kids were at risk for these diseases, and so I didn’t think my kids should have to get jabbed. Pretty simple.

Now, however . . .

Read the rest of my latest for the Catholic Weekly

Image via Pixabay

What do guardian angels do?

Do our guardian angels intervene physically, saving us from bodily harm? I don’t see why not, as long as it’s God’s will. I do pray to my children’s guardian angels, and I do believe they have protected their lives, either by causing them to fall this way instead of that way, saving them from death; or by helping me to see danger and move quickly so I can rescue them myself. But that is not all that they do.

Read the rest of my latest for The Catholic Weekly.

Image: The Good and Evil Angels by William Blake (Public Domain) via Wikimedia Commons