tiramisu – SIMCHA FISHER

What’s for supper? Vol. 485: Rusty dipthongs and greasy ennui. And guacamole!

Happy Friday! One must imagine Simcha saying something poignant here, something amusing and a little bit weird, making a captivating opening for this week’s food post. Then she will say something like: Here’s what we ate this week!

Oh, here is a picture of the “four to six quarts” of grape juice I expected to get out of the grapes I processed last week. About half a gallon. Thanks a lot, Obama.

Anyway, I made grape juice, which makes Corrie happy.

I will say that the tiramisu cake I made for Clara turned out well! I was following the Betty Crocker recipe but wanted a round cake I could serve without a baking dish, so I made it in a springform pan, used some of the ladyfingers to make a fence around the outside, and added gelatin to the top layer of egg white as I whipped it, so I could pipe it on top and it would keep its shape. I skipped the cocoa (because we were out and I had already sent Sophia to the store twice); and I added sugared raspberries and a dust of edible gold powder. And it was lovely!

I refrigerated it for nearly 24 hours before serving, it, and it held up great.

I’m really glad to know that the gelatin thing works for keeping piped whipped cream in shape. Will be VERY handy if I sell pies for Thanksgiving again this year.

I wrote up all the adjustments I made into a recipe card, which may or may not be coherent, but it sure is long.

Jump to Recipe

I don’t think I included the directions for sugared raspberries, but you just whip up some egg whites until they are foamy, brush them on dry raspberries with a pastry brush, roll the raspberries in sugar, and let them dry for several hours. They get a little sweet, crackly crust, and they are sparkly. Very nice dessert accent. My general advice is to make at least twice as many as you need, because about half of them get weepy and don’t look great.

SATURDAY
Leftover delite and ??

Saturday, Damien did part of the shopping and I splurged on an Instacart order for the rest. I think the chosen frozen food was loaded potato skins.

SUNDAY
Grilled cheese, sorta caprese pasta salad

Sunday, half of us were felled by some respiratory virus going around. Corrie came into my room to languish with me, and she got bored pretty fast, but didn’t like any of the activities I suggested . . . until I offered to teach her how to write phonetically in ancient Greek. Eleven is the PERFECT age for this kind of thing. She loves codes and secret languages, and she’s smart as heck, so off she went. I wonder if I still have my old Luschnig workbook hanging around somewhere! My dipthongs are rusty.

In the afternoon, I sent her out to pick a bunch of basil, and made a simple pasta salad. I had replenished my rennet supply and briefly considered making some mozzarella skulls, but that seemed like a bridge too far, so it was just pasta, chopped tomatoes, basil, lots of olive oil, some red wine vinegar, kosher salt, pepper, and fresh garlic.

Always popular.

The main dish was supposed to be grilled ham and cheese, but the ham had vanished without a trace, and I’m still very much in “okay I have five energy and I used up four of them just getting into the kitchen” territory, so I didn’t look too hard. Made a bunch of grilled cheese and that was that.

The kids remembered we had refrigerator pickles, so that was a little perk.

If your pickles don’t look like they were violently captured from a bog, what are you even doing?

MONDAY
Buffalo chicken wraps, chips

Monday, Damien once again drove me to Lebanon for a neurology visit! This is the final in-person post surgery visit I should need, and she doctor said it looks like healing is going great. My incision looks good, the ridges and divots in my head are normal, I could cancel the upcoming MRI and just schedule one for six months from now, and best of all, I could start weaning off Keppra, which is the anti-seizure medicine which has been keeping me stoopid and wobbly. AND, the pathology report says it was definitively a benign tumor. (I figured it must be, since they always give you bad news fast; but it was nice to hear officially!)

Oh, and she said I could start taking ibuprofen again, which was great. I really missed ibuprofen. Mainly because my body shrimply does not care if we are nearly 52 years old and recovering from a craniotomy; we are still going to keep on cycling, cycling, and cycling, until the ennnnnd of the world. But at least now we have ibuprofen again.

Got back in town around 5, picked up the kids, and had buffalo chicken wraps for supper. We have been abstaining from lettuce and fresh herbs all this time, for fear of cyclosporiasis, but, feeling reckless and celebratory, I put lettuce on my wraps. So it was frozen buffalo chicken tenders, lettuce, tomato, shredded pepper jack cheese, and blue cheese dressing.

And nobody died of the shits! The kids had chips, but I am once again making an effort to Stop Being So Fat, so I skipped the chips. I spent a whole month hardly eating anything but soup, so I should actually be incredibly thin by now, but I refer you to the fact that I’m almost 52 and my body is really dumb. Anyway, I skipped the chips.

Also, I cleaned the kitchen! Monday is my day to clean the kitchen, and I hadn’t done so for quite some time. Felt great.

TUESDAY
Chili verde, rice, guacamole and chips

On Tuesday afternoon, I convinced Damien that, because I was weaning off Keppra, I could drive again, so I drove to pick up the kids while he chaperoned. And it went great, until we got home and it was time to park, and I hit Sophia’s car. Then later he told me the rest of the driving was also not as great as I thought, and he took the keys back again. DAMMIT. Slow breathing, patience, grouse grouse grouse. We can try again when the Keppra is all out of my system, next week.

Anyway, I made some chili verde. Part of why I don’t like Instacart shopping is because you can’t really pick the meat, and I guess I ordered pork chops, rather than a loin or a shoulder or something. So I ended up cutting the meat off the bone and, predictably, it was a little tougher than you really want the pork to be for a chili, but whatever. It tasted fine. Here’s my recipe.

Jump to Recipe

I also made some guacamole, and I kept seeing this video where this woman says everyone misunderstands guacamole, mashing the avocados and then adding stuff to it. Indeed, that is how I do it. Instead, she says you should crush up all the non-avocado ingredients, and then add chopped avocados into that. Actually, I didn’t watch the video. I don’t know what she said.

Nevertheless, I went ahead and tried what I imagined the video said. I was too sleepy to use a mortar and pestle, so I just threw the onions, garlic, cilantro, and jalapeño into the food processor with a little olive oil to help things along

and then I chopped 3-4 avocados and mixed it together, along with salt, pepper, and lime juice.

Tasted good to me! It wasn’t necessarily better or worse than the way I usually do it, but it was good. Maybe someday I’ll even watch the video.

I had my chili over rice with sour cream, more cilantro, and a lime wedge, and it was a yummy meal.

I sure missed cilantro! I missed chips, too. (Gloomily counted out exactly seven, which is apparently one serving.) I’m starting to get more feeling back in my mouth, so this was a careful experiment as I refamiliarize myself with the left half of my head.

WEDNESDAY
Pizza

Wednesday I sulked my way through a bunch of paperwork that I was pretty sure I had already submitted, but who knows. Made three pizzas, one pepperoni, one olive, and one cheese. And that really is too much pizza for our family size! I forgot how few we are these days, alas.

THURSDAY
Ina Garten’s roast chicken; brussels sprouts and butternut squash

We had this same chicken recipe last week, but la creativity, she is at an all-time low. It’s easy and relatively popular and cheap, so that’s what we went with. Garlic and lemons, salt and pepper inside; butter, salt, and pepper outside, and the chicken roasts on top of a layer of carrots and onions. I skipped the thyme.

I had some butternut squash and brussels sprouts, too, so I roasted them in a separate pan with olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and a little honey, and then got involved with helping Irene edit a scholarship essay and burned the hell out of the vegetables, oh well. The chicken was good!

Good essay, too. Somebody give that kid $60,000 stat!

I also got a wild hare and sorta kinda fixed the dining room storage bench, which fell apart a few weeks ago and has been sitting there with its guts hanging out, collecting candy wrappers and used tissues and generalized greasy ennui. I did a truly terrible job, and I will definitely need to redo it later, but I did use a power drill without killing myself, so that counts for something. And you can sit on the bench again, so there.

I’m sorry to be so whiny, I am just SO TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING OR GO ANYWHERE OR GET ANYTHING DONE. Bah. Bah, I tell you! Bah, and boo.

FRIDAY
Spaghetti

Just regular old, begular old spaghetti. This weekend, I am hoping to dig up the potatoes I grew, and maybe get some marigold, cosmos, and sunflower seeds collected. I guess the pumpkins are probably as big as they’re going to get (not very big; something went wrong right after they fruited), so we might as well pick those, too. I just let the unpicked corn languish, so I guess they are fancy bird feeders now. Oh well.

I was extremely holy for a while there, and was offering stuff up left and right, but now I’ve reverted to just whining. As you may have noticed.

Anyway, excelsior, or whatever. Damien actually won another journalism award! He is having quite a year. I regretfully told him I didn’t think I could come see him get it, because being in the car is just too hard. But hooray for awards! He should win an award for putting up with all my complaining, honestly.

And so should all of you.

Spicy Chili Verde

You can decrease the heat by seeding the peppers, using fewer habañeros, or substituting some milder pepper. It does get less spicy as it cooks, so don't be alarmed if you make the salsa and it's overwhelming!

Ingredients

5 lbs pork shoulder
salt and pepper
oil for cooking
2 cups chicken broth or beer (optional)

For the salsa verde:

4 Anaheim peppers
2 habañero peppers
4 jalapeño peppers
4 medium onions, quartered
12 tomatillos
1 head garlic, cloves peeled or unpeeled
1 bunch cilantro

For serving:

lime wedges
sour cream
additional cilantro for topping

Instructions

Preheat the broiler.
Pull the husks and stems off the tomatillos and rinse them. Cut the ends off all the peppers. Grease a large pan and put the tomatillos, peppers, and onions on it. Broil five minutes, turn, and broil five minutes more, until they are slightly charred.
When they are cool enough to handle, you can at this point remove the seeds from the peppers to decrease the spiciness, if you want. If you roasted the garlic in its peel, just squeeze the insides out and discard the peels.
Put the tomatillos, peppers, garlic and onions in a food processor or blender with the garlic and cilantro. Purée.
In a heavy pot, heat some oil. Salt and pepper the pork chunks and brown them in the oil. You will need to do it in batches so the pork has enough room and browns, rather than simmering.
When all the meat is browned, return it all to the pot and add the puréed ingredients.
Simmer at a low heat for at least three hours until the meat is tender. If you want thinner chili verde, stir in the chicken broth or beer. If you don't want the pork in large chunks, press the meat with the back of a spoon to make it collapse into shreds.
Spoon the chili verde into bowls, squeeze some lime juice over the top, and top with sour cream and fresh cilantro.

tiramisu cake

This is a large, festive cake that yields 12-14 generous slices. Traditionally, it would have rum or amaretto mixed into the espresso, and cocoa powder sifted over the top (or shaved chocolate). I skip both of these, and it's still spectacular; but feel free to add them back in.

Tiramisu needs at least four to six hours to chill and for the flavor to develop and for the ladyfingers to soften. If you're going to eat it within this time frame, you can save yourself some trouble and construct and serve it inside a rectangular baking dish, which is easier, if less decorative. If you want a round tiramisu cake that can be served on its own with a decorative, piped top, you will need to let it chill at least overnight to hold together, and you will need to add gelatin to the top layer of whipped cream to stabilize the piping.

Ingredients

12 egg yolks
1-1/2 cups sugar
1-1/3 cups milk
2 lbs mascarpone at room temperature
1-1/2 cups heavy cream
2+2 tsp vanilla extract and/or almond extract
1/2 cup espresso, chilled
14 oz ladyfingers
1-1/2 tsp unflavored gelatin powder (optional, for stabilizing whipped cream)

Instructions

In a mug or small bowl, mix together the espresso, the first 2 tsp of vanilla/almond extract (and rum or amaretto, if you're using it). Set aside.
In a heavy pot, whisk together the egg yolks and sugar. Whisk in the milk. Heat up at medium, whisking constantly, until mixture begins to boil. Turn heat to low and continue whisking for two minutes.
Remove from heat, pour the egg mixture into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap so wrap comes into direct contact with the mixture. Chill for an hour or more, until it is thoroughly cool.
While this mixture is chilling, also chill a mixing bowl in preparation for whipping.
When the egg mixture is cool, add mascarpone and beat with an electric mixer on medium until it is smooth.
HERE YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS!
If you are planning to serve the tiramisu in a few hours, I recommend constructing the tiramisu in six layers (ladyfingers, custard, whipped cream, ladyfingers, custard, whipped cream) and constructing and serving it still inside its dish
If you are planning to serve it the next day, the additional chilling time will let you make it in a springform pan with a "fence" of ladyfingers around the outside to hold it together; but you will need to stabilize the top layer of whipped cream so it holds it shape overnight.
IN-DISH OPTION: If you are making a tiramisu that will stay inside its dish, whip all the heavy cream with the remaining vanilla extract until it is stiff.
IN-DISH OPTION: Using a pastry brush, brush both sides of each ladyfinger with the espresso mixture and arrange them in a layer to cover the bottom of the ungreased dish. Then spread half the egg mixture over that, then half the whipped cream over that. Repeat with a second layer of ladyfingers, egg mixture, and whipped cream. (If you are sifting cocoa over the top, do that now.)
Refrigerate tiramisu at least four hours before serving, to give the ladyfingers time to soften.
SPRINGFORM PAN OPTION: If you are making a tiramisu that will stand on its own outside a pan, whip 2/3 of the whipped cream and the remaining vanilla until it is still.
SPRINGFORM PAN OPTION: Using a pastry brush, brush both sides of each ladyfinger with the espresso mixture and arrange them in a layer to cover the bottom of the ungreased springform pan. (It's hard to make it come out even because it's round, but that's okay!) Then break about half of the remaining ladyfingers in half and arrange them upright around the inside of the pan, making a kind of picket fence.
SPRINGFORM PAN OPTION: Spread half the egg mixture over the ladyfingers, then spread the stiff whipped cream over that. Then arrange the remaining ladyfingers over the whipped cream, and spread the remaining egg mixture over that.
SPRINGFORM PAN OPTION: To stabilize the remaining whipped cream, sprinkle the gelatin powder over 2 tablespoons of water in a mug, and let it stand for 3 minutes. Then microwave it for five seconds, mix it, and microwave it again for five seconds. Repeat until the gelatin is dissolved and the mixture is smooth.
Start whipping the remaining cream and vanilla/almond extract in an electric mixer on slow. Increase the speed to medium, and when it begins to get bubbly, slowly pour in the gelatin mixture. Then increase the speed to high until stiff peaks form. Using a star or flower nozzle, pipe the stabilized whipped cream onto the top of the tiramisu. If you are sifting cocoa over the tiramisu, do that now. Refrigerate up to 24 hours before serving.
SPRINGFORM PAN OPTION: Carefully unclamp and remove pan side before serving.
In this photo, I have added sugared raspberries and a light dusting of edible gold dust along with birthday candles.

What’s for supper? Vol. 484: It finally happened, I used up all my words writing and now I can’t think of a title

Hola, amigos. I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya. (And now ends the part of this post where I find out how old you guys are.)

Happy Friday! Coming up to five weeks post surgery, I am still doing VERY LITTLE INDEED. Lots of naps, lots of lurking about, lots of soup. Damien has been doing an absolutely phenomenal job of not only taking care of all the kids and all the household stuff and appointments and driving and also doing his actual job, but also constantly reassuring me that I’m not being lazy or crazy or malingering or anything, and the whole craniotomy thing really was a big deal, and it really is my job to rest, rest, rest. So that is what I’m doing.

However! I am also very gently working toward Doing A Few Things. This week, I started cooking again, and although Damien (along with some of the incredibly generous staff at our kid’s school!) was keeping everyone very well fed, it feels pretty great to be back in the kitchen, wrecking the place up.

SATURDAY
Awards dinner!

Wait, I’m confused. The awards dinner was on Friday. Well anyway, on Friday afternoon, Damien and I drove down to Boston where he received the Freedom of Information award from New England First Amendment Coalition. It was a truly wonderful event. Incredibly, Damien was introduced by Diane Foley, the mother of journalist James Foley who was beheaded by ISIS, and she and her husband were so warm and gracious. Kind, friendly, intelligent, sincere people everywhere, delicious food, wonderful venue. We were at the Commonwealth Hotel, right across from Fenway Park.

And it was a lovely night! Here’s a few pictures.

Saturday morning, it seemed like a shame not to go do fun Boston things while we were in Boston, but I was truly a blob of glup and had a hard time even sitting up to drink my coffee, yeesh. So we made a quick stop to see Clara and Wesley on the way home and then went home, and I spent the rest of the day just blobbing gluppily at home. I think we had leftovers and pizza pockets for supper.

SUNDAY
Brats, french fries, peach cobbler

Sunday I did get to Mass, and it was much easier than the previous week. I am less paranoid that someone is going to leap out of the bushes and whack me in the head with a hammer. Damien did the week’s shopping, and I took a nap and then picked some peaches and made a very basic peach crumble for an afternoon snack.

I can’t find the recipe I used, but I remember messing with it anyway. Probably I used corn starch, sugar, a little salt, cinnamon, and butter, and mixed that up with the sliced peaches (skin on). I topped it with a box of cake mix mixed with cinnamon and scrunched up into clumps with melted butter. Baked at whatever until the top was slightly browned and the filling was bubbling.

Would have been great with ice cream or whipped cream, but an unexpected warm dessert in the middle of the day was well received (declared by the kids to be yum dot com).

I also had a moment of satisfaction because the household has been getting along ALARMINGLY well without me. But when I went to get some butter for the streusel, I found this:

Turns out I was the one keeping the butter situation around here reasonable. Me!! I’m useful after all!!!

MONDAY
Ina Garten’s roast chicken with carrots and potatoes

Monday I got tired of worrying about the carrots I never dug up, and went outside to see what was going on. I discovered that something (probably some combination of wild animals and feral Corrie) had already dug up most of them. So I got what was left, and fetched a few heads of garlic from my drying corner.

I washed and trimmed all the carrots except for these two, who already had other plans.

This is the roast chicken recipe. I had dried thyme instead of fresh, and no fennel, and I threw in a pound or so of little red potatoes. It’s SO EASY and it takes literally 15 minutes to throw together, and it always turns out absolutely juicy and delicious, with a tasty, crackling skin, and you don’t have to baste it or flip it or anything.

I was a little miffed that I hadn’t thought to get some nice crusty bread to sop up the splendid lemony garlicky juices,

but it was still great. And now I did something about the damn carrots.

TUESDAY
Chicken cheesesteak sandwiches and chips

Tuesday I took care of another thing that’s been nagging at me: I made two big jars of pickles. Just cucumbers from the store, since my cucumber garden was a bust; but I had stuffed the last of the dill from my garden into a jar of vinegar, and it was just sitting there daring me to forget about it. This is basically the recipe I used, except I fiddled with it a bit, and added peppercorns, bumped up a lot of the spices, couldn’t find coriander seeds, forgot to heat it up, and couldn’t find the kosher salt, so I used table salt.

I haven’t tasted these pickles yet, but the kids told me (about 48 hours after I made them) that they are slightly mushy, but tasty. Good enough for me.

For supper, I picked the chicken off the carcasses and shredded it in the stand mixer with a little Tony Cachere’s. I was sort of following this recipe from Sip and Feast, except for the seasoning, and also I used American cheese. He has you cook the peppers, then take them out of the pan and cook then onions, then add the chicken, and then melt cheese onto the chicken and onions. Then you melt more cheese on top of it, scoop it onto rolls, and add the peppers.

I opted to just do one dose of cheese per serving

and I had mine with BBQ sauce.

I thought it was totally delicious. I think about half the family liked it, which is a pretty good score. It’s nice to have a new idea for leftover chicken, anyway!

WEDNESDAY
Whatever

On Tuesday I heard a cheerful chirping noise, and looked out my window to see Corrie clambering around picking grapes and singing. (Singing a violent parody of “Frosty the Snowman,” if you must know.) She has been steadily working her way through the first batch of grape juice we made the other week, and wanted more, so she went ahead and picked about a bushel of grapes. Her enthusiasm lasted right up until the moment I suggested she help me sort them, and then grape juice suddenly appeared overrated. WHICH I GET.

On Wednesday, Damien, that lucky man, got to drive to Boston again after school, to bring Lucy and Irene to a Brandon Flower concert. Moe and Sophia were at work, so that just left me, Corrie, and Benny at home for dinner. We had french toast and boxaroni, and then Sophia got home and took Benny and Corrie out to the movies.

And so I found myself ALONE. Which VERY rarely happens. So I dragged the bucket of grapes into the living room, put on some disposable gloves, opened a can of diet ginger ale, and slowly, slowly sorted grapes while watching Best In Show and then an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Sometimes it’s a little startling to be by yourself, to be able to do whatever you want, and then your heart’s desire turns out to be a little weird. Anyway, I got the grapes sorted.

THURSDAY
Meatloaf and rice

Thursday I got started on Clara’s birthday tiramisu! Usually Damien is the tiramisu guy around here, but it turns out I really can do kitchen stuff, as long as I allow myself three times the normal amount of time. I more or less followed the Betty Crocker recipe, except I realized we were out of eggs, went to collect eggs from the duck house, and then realized the water was off in the house, and sent Sophia to the store for eggs from the clean world. I also skipped the rum, ran out of vanilla, supplemented it with almond extract, and made a double recipe, and I decided to fit it into a large springform pan, with a little fence of ladyfingers around the outside, rather than serving it still in its glass dish.

I have no idea if this will hold up to having the side removed, but I guess we’ll find out! I wanted to make it fancy, because we’re celebrating Clara’s birthday, but of course the whipped cream tends to deflate over time. So I did the inside layer with regular whipped cream (it’s ladyfingers, custard, whipped cream, ladyfingers, custard, whipped cream), but then I took the rest and did the thing where you bloom a little gelatin and then add that to the cream as you whip it, and I piped that over the top.

Actually, what I did was whip the cream, realize it would fall apart overnight, mix up some gelatin with a random amount of hot water, and add that to the already whipped cream, which of course resulted in some horrible buttery rubber cream curds. So I threw that out, gave myself a stern talking to, found some more cream, found my reading glasses, and very carefully followed the actual instructions, and then piped it on.

Yes, that’s the same picture, but I’m not lying this time.

I also made a batch of sugared raspberries. You find the firmest raspberries and brush them with foamy egg whites using a pastry brush. I think last time I made these (for my raspberry lemon pavlova birthday bombs), I just brushed them with egg white that I had rustled up a bit with a fork, but this time I really whipped them and just brushed the foam on. Then you carefully roll the berries in sugar (supposed to be sanding sugar, but I never have that in the house) and set them to dry overnight.

It’s not difficult, but you can’t really do it quickly. (Believe me, I tried every dumb idea.) A few of them are a little weepy this morning, but who among us. They turn out with this lovely, fragile, crackly sweet shell. And again. Who among us.

While I was preparing the raspberries, I asked the kids if there were any wild blackberries left in the yard (there were not), and then I was musing about maybe buying some cultivated thornless blackberry bushes in the spring, so we could enjoy the sweet juiciness of the fruit without having to deal with the thorns. Well, they were unanimously appalled, and felt strongly that getting torn up a little bit was an indispensable part of the experience, and made the berries even sweeter. Which just goes to show: They certainly are my kids.

So my plan is to dust the top of the tiramisu with cocoa powder to bring out the piping, if any, and then add in the raspberries in between, and maybe some fresh mint leaves. Won’t that be pretty? And if it collapses when I take the side of the pan off, at least it will be yummy, because I did NOT burn it. (This is a big deal, as I’ve been burning EVERYTHING lately.)

Oh anyway, after I got this squared away, I made a couple of big meatloaves. Here is my recipe,

Jump to Recipe

which is honestly nothing special, but we haven’t had meatloaf for a while, and it’s pretty popular. I couldn’t find the worcestershire, so I added some soy sauce. And yes, I slathered on plenty of ketchup as the good Lord intended.

I forgot to take the soy sauce into account when I was adding the salt, and it was PRETTY SALTY, but no one complained. Made a big pot of plain rice in the Instant Pot and it was a perfectly fine supper for a chilly day.

Damien, luckiest of men, spent much of his day repairing the water heater (which is why we didn’t have water earlier). The lurkworm showers were kind of annoying in the summer, but now that it’s getting into the 40’s at night, we’re all pretty happy about hot showers again! The man can fix just about anything.

FRIDAY
Pizza and tiramisu

Clara and Wesley are coming over, and I believe they are bringing pizza.

OH. And I mentioned this on Facebook, but not yet here, so I am EXTREMELY HAPPY TO TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE ENGAGED. I love these two so much, and I’m so glad they found each other.

What a month it has been! My goodness. My goodness. I am slowly making some headway into writing thank-you notes to all the wonderful people who pitched in. It was so immensely helpful not to be freaking out about money while I was (am) recuperating.

I did get some grape juice going, finally. Once you sort the grapes, the rest is so easy. You just mash them up a bit, bring it to a simmer and let it simmer for ten minutes, occasionally mashing,

and then strain it all through cheesecloth. Usually I am dumb and attempt to squeeze it through while it’s still straight out of the pot, but this time I am smart, and I put the cheesecloth in a colander and let it drip.

Looks like maybe six quarts or two gallons of juice (this is the second pot). If it’s too tart, you can add sugar, but we usually don’t do this. Still thinking about making some gummies, which is just grape juice, sugar, and gelatin mixed and poured into molds. I have silicone skull molds, but have yet to mold any skulls this year! Besides my own, I mean, ho ho.

Anyway, I am feeling pretty good about having made supper this week. My next goal is to Bring Back Vegetables, but one thing at a time. I have been trying and trying to get some writing done, and as much as I wish I could blame my struggles on the brain surgery, I think I’m just rusty. Alas. Maybe some grape juice will help. It couldn’t hurt.

Meatloaf (actually two giant meatloaves)

Ingredients

5 lbs ground beef
2 lbs ground turkey
8 eggs
4 cups breadcrumbs
3/4 cup milk OR red wine
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce

plenty of salt, pepper, garlic powder or fresh garlic, onion powder, fresh parsley, etc.

ketchup for the top
2 onions diced and fried (optional)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 450
Mix all meat, eggs, milk, breadcrumbs, and seasonings together with your hands until well blended.
Form meat into two oblong loaves on pan with drainage
Squirt ketchup all over the outside of the loaves and spread to cover with spatula. Don't pretend you're too good for this. It's delicious.
Bake ninety minutes or so, until meat is cooked all the way through. Slice and serve.

What’s for supper? Vol. 422: Habemus papam! Let’s eat!

I can’t even think of a lame food pun for the title, that’s how excited I am! But before we get back to chattering about the pope, here is what we ate this week:

SATURDAY
Leftovers and french bread pizza

Not a very sumptuous collection of leftovers,

so I splurged a bit on these frozen pizzas that everybody likes. Damien and I also polished off the last of the butter chicken, and I can report that it used its time in the fridge very well, just getting more delicious.

SUNDAY
Grilled ham and cheese, chips, vegetables

Honestly it says “vegetables” on the blackboard menu, but I don’t think that really happened. My personal vegetable consumption has gone way, way up, but I haven’t managed to drag most of the rest of the family into that, yet.

I did have my first asparagus harvest, though!

You’re supposed to wait three years before you start to pick it, so that’s what I did. Now I’m wishing I had planted more! But I’m very glad I got this started. When I first started gardening, I was all about bright, showy annuals. Then I started investing a little more in perennials. A few years ago, I started thinking about what I really wanted out of life, and laid in some long-term beds. It’s just a garden, but, yanno.

Also Sunday, I spent a few hours lopping off blackberry canes and brambles. Of which we have thousands and thousands. Wicked, wicked things.

I comforted myself by making some rice pudding. We had quite a bit of leftover basmati rice from last week, so I excused it from Leftover Day and basically followed this recipe except I skipped the raisins

because the kids don’t like cooked raisins. I should have left them in, because I DO like cooked raisins, and I was the one who ate most of the rice pudding. I mean I ate so much that I think I shouldn’t make it again for a year or so, until I grow up. But it was wonderful pudding. All four adult duck ladies have been laying every day, and duck eggs are SUPERB for baking.

Speaking of superb, the new ducklings have been doing just great. They’re growing insanely fast — I mean like I leave the house for two hours and they’re visibly bigger when I get back. Lots of videos on my Facebook page if you want to see their shenanigans!

MONDAY
Chili verde, tortilla chips

Monday was Cinqo de Mayo, which is something I didn’t even know anything about until I was in college, and it felt very global and cosmopolitan to celebrate this exotic holiday by going to Applebee’s and encountering my first avocado. Then I started to hear about how “uhhhh, no, it’s not Mexican fourth of July, STUPID” and I was like, oh, sorry. Now apparently it’s considered kind of culturally gauche to mark it at all? I truly don’t know. I saw this and felt a kinship:

The moral of this story is, cultures may shift, but ham is forever.

We had no ham or cigarettes or Aquanet in the house, but I did take May 5th as an opportunity to make chili verde, which Damien and I love and no one else does, oh well. I roasted up the tomatillos, peppers, onions, and garlic, and then put them in the food processor with cilantro, and because I hadn’t put on my contact lenses yet, I REMEMBERED TO WEAR GLOVES.

This is half-dumb, because yes I protect my fingers from getting peppery, but if I’m not wearing contact lenses, my eyes water because of the onions; but it’s also half-smart, because if I’m wearing glasses, I can take them off and actually read the recipe. You may THINK that the solution would be to put on contact lenses to protect eyes from both peppery fingers and oniony fumes, and then to add reading glasses to I can also see small print. However, this is not taking into account that I have lost every single one of my reading glasses, and I’m really just not ready for a beaded lanyard tethering me to the necessary glasses nestling on my bosom all day like some kind of cartoon librarian. I’m not ready!

Anyway, here is the recipe:

Jump to Recipe

I made a slight tweak: I roasted the garlic in its skin, and then just squeezed the soft insides out into the food processor. It was a bit faster than peeling all that garlic before roasting it, and the taste was great.

I cooked the chili all day and it turned out fab. It’s been chilly and rainy all week, and this wonderfully spicy meal was very warming, and produced a decent amount of broth without me having to add any beer or extra broth.

Served it with cilantro, shredded pepper jack cheese, sour cream, lime wedges, and tortilla chips.

Yum. I think the kids had Spaghetti-o’s.

TUESDAY
Pizza

Tuesday were two rather draining appointments and then day 2 of digging out blackberry root balls. Again, I say: HORRIBLE plants. See how bare the dirt in in the area where I was digging?

That’s because blackberries won’t let anything else grow! Even wild mint, which is every gardener’s invasive nightmare, got chased out of this area.

However, eradicating blackberries is great for working out any pent-up emotions you might be harboring. I had my shovel, my Japanese gardening knife, my pickaxe, and my heavy duty tarp, and by the time I put them away for the day, I was way to tired to feel anything except hungry.

Happily, I had made three pizzas in the morning: One plain, one pepperoni, and one black olive. Sooner or later I will have to face the fact that we’re on the cusp of becoming a two-pizza family. I used to make SIX extra large pizzas. I do make more than we will eat for one meal, because the kids like leftover pizza; but we’re not keeping up, harrrrooo. (That was just a crooning sound of sorrow for the march of time.)

Tuesday I also made a new garden bed! Look at that tremendous soil.

This area is near the stream and also next to the compost heap, so you could probably live off the soil alone, without even planting anything. However, I am going to plant corn this weekend.

WEDNESDAY
Hot dogs, cheezy weezies

Wednesday I cleared out my pumpkin patch and heaved a bunch of compost onto it,

and then I worked on the new fence a bit, and then I dug out more compost and ferried that over to the soon-to-be corn patch.

I would apologize for filling a food post with so many photos of dirt, but I know you guys! You like looking at pictures of dirt! Also you can see that my wattle fence held up just fine over the winter. I would like to add more this summer, but I don’t know if I will have time. I suddenly have lots of projects planned.

Speaking of projects, of course Wednesday was the beginning of the papal conclave! I got to watch the cardinals all taking their oaths in the Sistine Chapel, and that was very cool. We Catholics are so good at drama.

On the way home from school, one of the kids wanted to open a bank account, which always takes a million years longer than I expect. But at least we finally got it done. And I did snap this attractive photo of the bank office, with a somewhat disconcerting corporate poster.

They’re as stable as a squirrel, great. I couldn’t really complain, because it turned out the kid didn’t have any actual cash for the $10 minimum deposit to launch the account, and neither did I, and then they said well maybe it only needed to be $5, and then they said probably a dollar would be okay, so I found some change, and she deposited that. I made sure she understood that was her Christmas present this year.

We just had hot dogs and cheezy weezies for supper, and again I had worked up quite an appetite with my pickaxe and my buckets! Crazy how delicious a hot dog can be when you’ve been working outdoors, not to mention watching a conclave and looking for spare change.

Wednesday night, I started marinating the meat for Thursday’s dinner, because I knew it was gonna be a busy day. Damien has been sick all week, and when I say “sick,” I mean he’s LETTING ME DO THINGS FOR HIM and SLEEPING and TAKING MEDICINE. So you know it’s pretty serious. I think it’s bronchitis, and he’s starting to feel a bit better, but it’s rough.

THURSDAY
Chicken shawarma, fresh pita, tiramisu

Thursday was when we were celebrating Moe’s birthday, which was actually the day before. In the morning, I started the tiramisu, which is usually one of Damien’s signature dishes. I followed the recipe he uses, except maybe I can blame the conclave, because I got distracted and mixed together the custard and the whipped cream! So rather than six layers, there were only four. Gutted, as the brits say.

All I could do was sift some cocoa powder over the top, put it in the fridge, and hope for the best. Then I prepped all the shawarma fixings, made some garlicky yogurt sauce, and that’s when the white smoke came out! Most of the kids were at school and Damien was still conked out, so I made the ducks watch with me.

This is very exciting for Shaq, Zippy, and Tulip, because they were born in that time period when everyone was briefly a sedevacantist, so they’d never had any pope before, much less one from Chicago with Hatian grandparents and a special affection for the poor in Peru!

I did drag Sophia, Elijah, and Damien in before Leo appeared on the balcony, and wow, that was exciting. Wow, wow, wow. Here’s my camera roll, when I found it needful to take multiple photos of the TV screen, because where else am I going to find a blurry picture of the pope?

Anyway, boy, that was a thrill! Still had to make supper, though, so quick quick I started the pita dough before I had to run out for the afternoon drive (and you can see I got a couple more pictures of our local church, which had already switched from black to yellow and white bunting).

I still haven’t really settled on a good pita recipe. I ended up using this recipe from Food By Maria, and no, I didn’t read it all the way through, what do you take me for. So I was a little dismayed to find that you have to let it rise twice, and the second rise is a full hour, and that each pita bread takes six minutes to cook. Actually I think I’ve made this recipe before, and probably found it by googling “simcha fisher pita,” but I still had no idea what it said.

I started the meat cooking about an hour before dinner, and Moe and Clara came over and chatted with me while I fried the pita, and honestly, everything turned out great.

Shawarma was delicious. I was out of red pepper flakes, so I put Aleppo pepper in, and also I couldn’t find the garlic press, so I put the garlic cloves in a bag and hit them with a meat tenderizer, and put in big smashed chunks. When I took the chicken out of the marinade, I fished out all the garlic and strewed that over the top, along with the red onion quarters. I think I’ll do all those things from now on!

It was completely delicious. The chicken was so tender, it didn’t need to be cut up, but had turned itself into lovely little bite-sized chunks, and the generous onion quarters sort of cuddled themselves around the chicken, and it was just a real treat all around.

The pita was also quite good. It did not separate into two layers, but it was chewy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and had a good, rich flavor.

I’ll probably use this recipe again, even though it was a bit of a hassle. I did two pans at once, so it took me about half an hour to fry up twelve pieces.

Supper was very jolly! I wish everybody could have made it, but it was a good crowd.

Then we had the tiramisu, and it was not a failure! I was afraid that, because the cream was mixed into the custard, the sweetness would be too diluted and it would taste bland; and I was afraid that I had mixed it so much that all the air would be knocked out of the cream and it would be thick and dense. Neither thing happened!

Pictures of tiramisu always look a little ghastly, for some reason, but here’s the inside:

Just so you can see how the lack of layers worked out. But it did set up nicely. Anyway, everyone liked it and I was so relieved.

Today is Moe’s awards ceremony, then tomorrow is his graduation, and then Sunday he’s moving to his new apartment, and Monday he starts his new job! Glad I got one last shawarma into the boy before off he goes. Harrrooooo.

If you couldn’t tell by the Frog and Toad shirt and the Ferdinand the Bull tattoo, he’s going to be the new youth librarian at a public library. That was my father’s first professional job, too. He would have been very proud of Moe! I am. I’m proud of all my kids.

FRIDAY
Mac and cheese

I have already made the mac and cheese, and we are out of milk so I made it with leftover heavy cream from the tiramisu, and I used so much cheese, I think it may be illegal.

So, like I said, habemus papem! I don’t like every last thing I’ve heard and read about him, but I like an awful lot of it, and overall, I’m incredibly hopeful and excited. The way he speaks and the way he has comported himself so far is immensely appealing. I’m so ready for some good things to happen. And if it doesn’t, well, at least we have food.

Spicy Chili Verde

Ingredients

5 lbs pork shoulder
salt and pepper
oil for cooking
2 cups chicken broth or beer (optional)

For the salsa verde:

4 Anaheim peppers
2 habañero peppers
4 jalapeño peppers
4 medium onions, quartered
12 tomatillos
1 head garlic, cloves peeled or unpeeled
1 bunch cilantro

For serving:

lime wedges
sour cream
additional cilantro for topping

Instructions

Preheat the broiler.
Pull the husks and stems off the tomatillos and rinse them. Cut the ends off all the peppers. Grease a large pan and put the tomatillos, peppers, and onions on it. Broil five minutes, turn, and broil five minutes more, until they are slightly charred.
When they are cool enough to handle, you can at this point remove the seeds from the peppers to decrease the spiciness, if you want. If you roasted the garlic in its peel, just squeeze the insides out and discard the peels.
Put the tomatillos, peppers, garlic and onions in a food processor or blender with the garlic and cilantro. Purée.
In a heavy pot, heat some oil. Salt and pepper the pork chunks and brown them in the oil. You will need to do it in batches so the pork has enough room and browns, rather than simmering.
When all the meat is browned, return it all to the pot and add the puréed ingredients.
Simmer at a low heat for at least three hours until the meat is tender. If you want thinner chili verde, stir in the chicken broth or beer. If you don't want the pork in large chunks, press the meat with the back of a spoon to make it collapse into shreds.
Spoon the chili verde into bowls, squeeze some lime juice over the top, and top with sour cream and fresh cilantro.

Chicken shawarma

Ingredients

8 lbs boned, skinned chicken thighs
4-5 red onions
1.5 cups lemon juice
2 cups olive oil
4 tsp kosher salt
2 Tbs, 2 tsp pepper
2 Tbs, 2 tsp cumin
1 Tbsp red pepper flakes OR Aleppo pepper
1 tsp cinnamon
1 entire head garlic, crushed OR bashed into pieces

Instructions

Mix marinade ingredients together, then add chicken. Put in ziplock bag and let marinate several hours or overnight.
Preheat the oven to 425.
Grease a shallow pan. Take the chicken out of the marinade and spread it in a single layer on the pan, and top with the onions (sliced or quartered). If you kept the garlic in larger pieces, fish those out of the marinade and strew them over the chicken. Cook for 45 minutes or more.
Chop up the chicken a bit, if you like, and finish cooking it so it crisps up a bit more.
Serve chicken and onions with pita bread triangles, cucumbers, tomatoes, assorted olives, feta cheese, fresh parsley, pomegranates or grapes, fried eggplant, and yogurt sauce.

Yogurt sauce

Ingredients

32 oz full fat Greek yogurt
5 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
fresh parsley or dill, chopped (optional)

Instructions

Mix all ingredients together. Use for spreading on grilled meats, dipping pita or vegetables, etc.

What’s for supper? Vol. 323: We are an Epiphany people are we are going to bed

Happy Epiphany! It’s Epiphany, right? I get all my liturgical information through social media, and generally through a lens of people arguing over whether it’s actually [whatever day] or not, and if not, which bishop is to blame for this outrage. The impression I have today is that Benedict XVI is in heaven going, “This Beatific Vision is prettty good, but BOY AM I MAD THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY THROWN OUT THEIR TREES.” This is what’s known as “being an Easter people.”

What I know for sure is this is the time of year when we just have massive dump trucks of food crashing through the walls of the house and unloading food after food after food, and I am powerless to stop it. And I guess I didn’t do a WFS last week, because I didn’t know what day it was, not for liturgical reasons, but just because I am self-employed and my boss is kind of an idiot. So I’ll just do a highlights reel, and you must imagine crowds of cinnamon buns and leftover egg rolls and fudge and buckeyes and rapidly staling tree cookies pushing in from the wings, clamoring to be eaten.

TUESDAY after Christmas
Chicken salad with pears, pecans, blue cheese

Absolutely desperate for some kind of vegetable two days after Christmas, I made a salad with mixed greens, grilled chicken, sliced pears, toasted pecans, and crumbled blue cheese, with something called “champagne dressing,” which turned out to taste sort of fruity and violently salty, and not in the fun way.

The rest of the salad was good, though. It really was good to have something green that wasn’t green icing.

WEDNESAY
Spaghetti carbonara

I made it with plenty of butter, flat leaf parsley, and freshly-grated parmesan, and it was fab.

Spotlight on carbonara! I think the eggs cost more than the bacon, alas. Strange times.

I think my recipe plugin should be functional again, so here’s the card:
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THURSDAY
Chicken shawarma

Everybody was mad on Thursday and nobody said anything nice about my shawarma, so humph, I said it to myself. This shawarma was simply delicious.
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Boneless skinless chicken thighs were on sale, which is the easiest, tastiest thing to make oven chicken shawarma with.

Marinate in the morning, dump it in a pan with onions in the evening, and do a little chopping and stirring, and you have a top notch meal.We had all the usuals, olives, tomatoes, cukes, feta cheese, pita, and yogurt sauce.

Briefly considered making homemade pita or fried eggplant, but I’m toooooo tired.

SATURDAY, New Year’s Eve
Lamb, sushi, pork dumplings

I bought a boneless leg of lamb back when it was $4.99 a pound a few months ago, and Damien slow roasted it all day until it was tender and lovely. We have tried more laborious recipes, but this very simple one always turns out the most toothsome.
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Turns out it’s scrumptious with a little dab of wasabi. Boo, I didn’t get any pictures. Too busy eating lamb.

My contribution was something new this year: Pork dumplings. I followed this recipe for the filling. I had my doubts about a Chinese recipe by someone named Emma Christensen, but man, it was perfect. It only has a few ingredients — ground pork, Napa cabbage, kosher salt, soy sauce, scallions, cilantro, fresh ginger, sesame oil, and eggs — and it’s easy. You shred the cabbage, sprinkle it with salt, and then squeeze it to get the moisture out, and the mix it together with everything else.

This was my first time using my dumpling press. You just put the wrapper on, plop a heaping tablespoon of filling on it, wet half the wrapper edge, and close the press firmly.

Very quickly fifty dumplings took shape!

When it was time to eat, I set my bamboo steamer in a pan of gently boiling water and steamed 8-10 dumplings at a time for ten minutes.

It is a double-decker steamer, and you have to line the inside trays with something so the dumplings don’t stick to the bamboo. At first I tried coffee filters with steam holes poked in them, because they were the perfect size, but they still stuck, so I used parchment paper with steam holes, and that worked perfectly, and I used the same paper for all the batches.

They were just scrumptious. The perfect blend of sharp and savory and gingery with a tiny bit of crunch from the cabbage. I had some with some jarred sauce, but they were wonderful on their own. Just delighted to have this in my repertoire.

I made a 2.5X batch of the filling, because that’s how much pork I had, and I ended up only using half of it before I ran out of wrappers; so I froze the left over, and we shall have dumplings again! You can also fry them or boil them.

New Year’s Eve is also . . . .SHUSHI DAY. Clara had a friend over and Moe came over and we had a lovely time. I made a giant bowl of sweet, sticky sushi rice.

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I sprang for a couple sacks of really good short-grain rice

rinsed it a propitious number of times and cooked it in the Instant Pot, and then the next part takes three people: One to dump the rice into a bowl, one to slowly add the sauce and fold it into the rice without mushing it, and one to fan it vigorously so it dries.

I have no idea if this really makes a difference for how the rice turns out, but it’s part of the tradition at this point.

Then we also had . . .

raw tuna (frozen at sea and sliced thin)
cooked shrimp
fake crab legs
coconut shrimp
red roe
pickled ginger
cucumber
avocado
mango
sesame seeds
furikake
and also
duck sauce
hot mustard
wasabi
soy sauce
and then honestly just whatever asian-looking bottles I could find in the fridge

The kids gave me lots of little bowls and ramekins for Christmas, because that’s what I like, so had fun arranging things prettily.

This is a really neat way to set up a party, because it encourages people to keep circulating and trying new combinations of things.

And we had fun! Everyone at plenty of food, and we had store-bought cheesecake and cream pies, and we watched Duck Soup and toasted the new year. Phew.

SUNDAY
Calzones, tiramisu

Sunday was Sophia’s birthday, and she requested calzones and tiramisu, which meant an easy supper for me
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and a rather more time consuming dessert for Damien to make. Here is the recipe he uses. I never seem to get a good photo of tiramisu, but it is luscious and wonderful.

MONDAY
Taco Bell

No bones day. We just got a bunch of tacos.

TUESDAY
Italian meatloaf, french bread

New recipe! It was a chilly, drizzly, grey day and the recipe email from Jim at Sip and Feast featured this very cozy-looking meatloaf smothered in mushrooms and crushed tomatoes, and I knew what I had to do. It’s just a regular meatloaf, with a few elevated ingredients like plenty of freshly-grated parmesan, fresh parsley, and minced garlic, and you drench it in dry red wine and surround it with crushed tomatoes. Put it in the oven to cook and start frying up a generous bunch of mushrooms and onions in olive oil with a little salt, and then add those to the meatloaf, and let it finish cooking.

I mean, how could it. not be good. It was so good. Hands down the best, happiest meatloaf I’ve ever had. (I used 5.5 pounds of meat and made two loaves, so it took closer to an hour and a half to cook.)

I had the opposite of the zoomies, and so Damien shopped for me and Clara picked up the kids for me, leaving me at home to putter around the kitchen with my meatloaf, and I thought how nice it would be to have some fresh bread to sop up all that lovely mushroom and tomato sauce.

So I used my trusty french bread recipe

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and turned out four pretty, golden loaves.

Every time I make french bread, I’m grateful and astonished that I happened to stumble upon some kind of success accidentally. But I have to admit that this happens every time I make bread, and if it were anyone else, I would conclude that this means this is, you know, a person who knows how to make french bread. Not me, though. I’m a moron who gets lucky every time. But who cares, as long as there’s squishy hot bread! Bread now, self-worth later.

WEDNESDAY
Grilled ham and cheese, fruit salad

Wednesday I finally finally went shopping for the week, and let me tell you, it was again a no-bones day. We had some grilled ham and cheese and a fruit salad made of pineapple, grapes, blueberries, and kiwi, which is a special recipe made of only the most carefully selected elements that were on sale at Aldi.

Then I went to lie down for a minute and suddenly it was nine o’clock and someone had drooled on my face (me). So I got up and watched a little TV and then went back to bed, because I am an easter people and I am going to bed.

THURSDAY
Chicken burgers, chips

Nothin to report. Well, except that I had an apple instead of chips [insert medal].

FRIDAY
Fish tacos

Yeah! It’s been a while. Got some batter fried fish fillets, tortillas, avocados, cabbage, limes, sour cream, and salsa. I also grabbed a bag of frozen shrimp I could sauté up with a little lime juice or whatever, but I may just pretend I forgot about it by the time dinner rolls around.

I’m vaguely considering putting together some kind of king cake, but I usually palm that off on Clara and I don’t have any experience with it. Anyone have a very simple recipe? I have all the normal staples in the house.

Spaghetti carbonara

An easy, delicious meal.

Ingredients

3 lbs bacon
3 lbs spaghetti
1 to 1-1/2 sticks butter
6 eggs, beaten
lots of pepper
6-8 oz grated parmesan cheese

Instructions

Fry the bacon until it is crisp. Drain and break it into pieces.
Boil the spaghetti in salted water until al dente. If you like, add some bacon grease to the boiling water.
Drain the spaghetti and return it to the pot. Add the butter, pieces of bacon, parmesan cheese, and pepper and mix it up until the butter is melted.
Add the raw beaten egg and mix it quickly until the spaghetti is coated. Serve immediately.

Chicken shawarma

Ingredients

8 lbs boned, skinned chicken thighs
4-5 red onions
1.5 cups lemon juice
2 cups olive oil
4 tsp kosher salt
2 Tbs, 2 tsp pepper
2 Tbs, 2 tsp cumin
1 Tbsp red pepper flakes OR Aleppo pepper
1 tsp cinnamon
1 entire head garlic, crushed OR bashed into pieces

Instructions

Mix marinade ingredients together, then add chicken. Put in ziplock bag and let marinate several hours or overnight.
Preheat the oven to 425.
Grease a shallow pan. Take the chicken out of the marinade and spread it in a single layer on the pan, and top with the onions (sliced or quartered). If you kept the garlic in larger pieces, fish those out of the marinade and strew them over the chicken. Cook for 45 minutes or more.
Chop up the chicken a bit, if you like, and finish cooking it so it crisps up a bit more.
Serve chicken and onions with pita bread triangles, cucumbers, tomatoes, assorted olives, feta cheese, fresh parsley, pomegranates or grapes, fried eggplant, and yogurt sauce.

Tom Nichols' Grandmother's Leg of Lamb

Ingredients

boneless leg of lamb
olive oil
garlic powder
garlic salt
oregano

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 325.
Slash the meat several times, about an inch deep.
Fill the cuts with plenty of garlic powder.
Slather olive oil all over the meat.
Crust it with garlic salt. Sprinkle with all the oregano you own.
Cover meat loosely with tinfoil and cook three hours. Uncover and cook for another 30 minutes.

Sushi rice

I use my Instant Pot to get well-cooked rice, and I enlist a second person to help me with the second part. If you have a small child with a fan, that's ideal.

Ingredients

6 cups raw sushi rice
1 cup rice vinegar
1/2 cup sugar
1 Tbsp salt

Instructions

Rinse the rice thoroughly and cook it.
In a saucepan, combine the rice vinegar, sugar, and salt, and cook, stirring, until the sugar is dissolved.
Put the rice in a large bowl. Slowly pour the vinegar mixture over it while using a wooden spoon or paddle to fold or divide up the cooked rice to distribute the vinegar mixture throughout. You don't want the rice to get gummy or too sticky, so keep it moving, but be careful not to mash it. I enlist a child to stand there fanning it to dry it out as I incorporate the vinegar. Cover the rice until you're ready to use it.

Calzones

This is the basic recipe for cheese calzones. You can add whatever you'd like, just like with pizza. Warm up some marinara sauce and serve it on the side for dipping.

Servings 12 calzones

Ingredients

3 balls pizza dough
32 oz ricotta
3-4 cups shredded mozzarella
1 cup parmesan
1 Tbsp garlic powder
2 tsp oregano
1 tsp salt
1-2 egg yolks for brushing on top
any extra fillings you like: pepperoni, olives, sausage, basil, etc.

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400.
Mix together filling ingredients.
Cut each ball of dough into fourths. Roll each piece into a circle about the size of a dinner plate.
Put a 1/2 cup or so of filling into the middle of each circle of dough circle. (You can add other things in at this point - pepperoni, olives, etc. - if you haven't already added them to the filling) Fold the dough circle in half and pinch the edges together tightly to make a wedge-shaped calzone.
Press lightly on the calzone to squeeze the cheese down to the ends.
Mix the egg yolks up with a little water and brush the egg wash over the top of the calzones.
Grease and flour a large pan (or use corn meal or bread crumbs instead of flour). Lay the calzones on the pan, leaving some room for them to expand a bit.
Bake about 18 minutes, until the tops are golden brown. Serve with hot marinara sauce for dipping.

French bread

Makes four long loaves. You can make the dough in one batch in a standard-sized standing mixer bowl if you are careful!

I have a hard time getting the water temperature right for yeast. One thing to know is if your water is too cool, the yeast will proof eventually; it will just take longer. So if you're nervous, err on the side of coolness.

Ingredients

4-1/2 cups warm water
1/4 cup sugar
2 Tbsp active dry yeast
5 tsp salt
1/4 cup olive or canola oil
10-12 cups flour
butter for greasing the pan (can also use parchment paper) and for running over the hot bread (optional)
corn meal for sprinkling on pan (optional)

Instructions

In the bowl of a standing mixer, put the warm water, and mix in the sugar and yeast until dissolved. Let stand at least five minutes until it foams a bit. If the water is too cool, it's okay; it will just take longer.
Fit on the dough hook and add the salt, oil, and six of the cups of flour. Add the flour gradually, so it doesn't spurt all over the place. Mix and low and then medium speed. Gradually add more flour, one cup at a time, until the dough is smooth and comes away from the side of the bowl as you mix. It should be tender but not sticky.
Lightly grease a bowl and put the dough ball in it. Cover with a damp towel or lightly cover with plastic wrap and set in a warm place to rise for about an hour, until it's about double in size.
Flour a working surface. Divide the dough into four balls. Taking one at a time, roll, pat, and/or stretch it out until it's a rough rectangle about 9x13" (a little bigger than a piece of looseleaf paper).
Roll the long side of the dough up into a long cylinder and pinch the seam shut, and pinch the ends, so it stays rolled up. It doesn't have to be super tight, but you don't want a ton of air trapped in it.
Butter some large pans. Sprinkle them with cornmeal if you like. You can also line them with parchment paper. Lay the loaves on the pans.
Cover them with damp cloths or plastic wrap again and set to rise in a warm place again, until they come close to double in size. Preheat the oven to 375.
Give each loaf several deep, diagonal slashes with a sharp knife. This will allow the loaves to rise without exploding. Put the pans in the oven and throw some ice cubes in the bottom of the oven, or spray some water in with a mister, and close the oven quickly, to give the bread a nice crust.
Bake 25 minutes or more until the crust is golden. One pan may need to bake a few minutes longer.
Run some butter over the crust of the hot bread if you like, to make it shiny and even yummier.

What[wa]’s for supper [last week]? Vol. 214: The highlight reel

I didn’t do a What’s for Supper? last week. I didn’t actually publish anything last week. Turns out I can actually be shut up! For a week. But that’s it.

Here’s the yummiest meals we had:

SUNDAY
Beef koftas and Jerusalem salad

Something new for us. Koftas are ground meat, onions, and seasonings formed onto sticks and then grilled. Wikipedia says “Kofta is a family of meatball or meatloaf dishes found in the Indian subcontinent, South Caucasian, Middle Eastern, Balkan, and Central Asian cuisines.” But that’s it! Nowhere else! I read a bunch of recipes from various regions and concluded that you could add anything but grape jelly and consider it an authentic recipe. (After I wrote this, I dreamed that I saw someone making koftas with grape jelly, and I thought, “Dammit, now I have to fix that paragraph.” But it was just a dream. If my father were here, he would comment, “I dreamt I was making koftas in my Maidenform bra.” There was always a Maidenform bra joke.)

Since it was our first time, I decided to keep them relatively bland. I used ground beef (I mean lamb is like $15 a pound), onion, garlic, parsley, salt and pepper, nutmeg, paprika, and za’atar. It is bound together with, uh, wet toast.

FABOLOUS.

Sidenote: if you don’t have a food processor, may I suggest you slap on your mask and hop on over the Salvation Army and find yourself one? Don’t be a snob, get the one in Harvest Yellow with the missing foot, as long as it works. Having a food processor has expanded my cooking so much. If my brother Izzy read my blog, I’d made a coulis joke here, but he doesn’t, so I won’t.

Anyway, for the koftas, I combined the ingredients very thoroughly, smooshed the meat mixture onto the skewers as tightly as I could, and refrigerated them for several hours, but many of them still fell apart when Damien grilled them. He ended up using an oiled cast iron griddle on the grill. They were EXTREMELY tasty and juicy, really bursting with flavor. The kids really liked them, which means I can probably get away with turning up the spice next time.

There is a technique wherein you extrude the meat through the neck of a soda bottle, too.

It’s not any uglier than me just smooshing it on with my hands, and probably somewhat less horrible than me inserting cheese into sausages.

I have my doubts about the part where he puts some cheese on the grill and then just rolls the cheese up around the meat. I guarantee you, that wouldn’t work if I tried it. BUT, look at the part where he dips it in yogurt sauce and then rolls it in french fried onions! I don’t know. Maybe it would be a case of potato tornados all over again, and I’m not ready to relive that.

Anyway, the koftas we made were swell, if not exactly beautiful to behold. I made plenty of yogurt sauce, and a nice Jerusalem salad on the side.

Jerusalem salad is just tomatoes and cucumbers, parsley and red onions. I squeezed a few lemons over it and drizzled a little olive oil on it, and maybe some kosher salt, I forget. Maybe some mint. We have no end of wild mint in the yard, so I hope I put mint in.

MONDAY
Chicken nachos

I’m including this meal because it was way more delicious than it should have been. I came up with it on the fly when I was at Aldi and discovered that the price of ground beef had gone up over a dollar a pound. They had some kind of frozen chicken tenderloins, whatever those are, so I bought a bunch.

I honestly didn’t think anyone would like this meal, but it was quite popular. I cooked the chicken in the Instant Pot with WATER. I remember being tired at the time. Then I pulled it out of the water, shredded it up, and put a disgusting amount of Tajin chili lime powder on it.

I put the chicken on chips and sprinkled a disgusting amount of cheese over that, and put it in a hot oven until the cheese was melted. I set out sliced jalapeños, sour cream, salsa, limes, and queso which I had microwaved.

Look at that queso, glowing in the twilight.

TUESDAY
Grilled sugar rub pork ribs, cole slaw, biscuits

Damien uses some variation of this sugar rub

Jump to Recipe

for all kinds of meat. He says the most important parts are the sugar, garlic, and chili powder, and then everything else is whatever he has on hand.

These ribs turned out SO GOOD. Look at that lustrous caramelized sugar. It’s sweet and hot and charred, just magnificent, and comes out so juicy.

I made this biscuit recipe again and it turned out just as good this time, so it’s definitely a keeper. It has eggs and cream of tartar, which I’ve never seen in biscuits before, but gosh, it works. I made twelve big biscuits and cut the rest of the dough into squares, which amused me.

Very basic cole slaw, just cabbage, mayo, vinegar, sugar, pepper. Tastes like summer. Here’s a slightly more complicated recipe I use sometimes:

Jump to Recipe

THURSDAY
Chicken caprese sandwiches, pasta salad, tiramisu

It was Dora’s birthday, and this was her requested meal. I grilled the chicken and served it on ciabatta rolls with fresh sliced mozzarella, tomatoes, basil, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and freshly-ground salt and pepper.

She made herself a pasta salad using those Frankie’s Oils with some nice feta cheese and sun dried tomatoes. Damien made tiramisu, and we forgot to get rum, and the espresso pot was missing a part. Guess what? It’s just as good with whiskey and strong coffee. I only got a crummy picture, but it was creamy and lovely and delicious.

Okay, that’s it for last week’s foods. Recipe cards below.

Oh, and yesterday a kid asked to visit the newly re-opened Salvation Army, so we went. GUESS WHAT I FOUND FOR THREE DOLLARS.

AS SEEN ON TV.

So, hold onto your butts.

koftas

Ingredients

5 lbs ground beef
3 onions
1 head (head, not clove) garlic
2 bunches parsley
5 slices bread
salt and pepper
1.5 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp paprika
2 Tbsp zataar

Instructions

Put the wooden skewers in water to soak for about thirty minutes before you plan to form the kebabs.
Put the onions, garlic, and parsley in a food processor and chop it.
Put the meat in a large bowl and add the chopped onion mixture to it.
Toast the bread, then put it in a bowl with warm water to soften it. Squeeze the water out and add that to the bowl with the meat.
Add in the seasonings and squish it up with your hands until all the ingredients are well combined.
Using your hands, form logs of meat around the skewers. They should be about an inch and a half in diameter.
Grill over coals if you can. If they fall apart too much, you can cook them on a hot oiled griddle, or broil them. Turn to brown all sides.

Yogurt sauce

Ingredients

32 oz full fat Greek yogurt
5 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
fresh parsley or dill, chopped (optional)

Instructions

Mix all ingredients together. Use for spreading on grilled meats, dipping pita or vegetables, etc.

Smoked chicken thighs with sugar rub

Ingredients

1.5 cups brown sugar
.5 cups white sugar
2 Tbsp chili powder
2 Tbsp garlic powder
2 tsp chili pepper flakes
salt and pepper
20 chicken thighs

Instructions

Mix dry ingredients together. Rub all over chicken and let marinate until the sugar melts a bit.
Light the fire, and let it burn down to coals. Shove the coals over to one side and lay the chicken on the grill. Lower the lid and let the chicken smoke for an hour or two until they are fully cooked.

Coleslaw

Ingredients

1 head cabbage, shredded
2 carrots, grated
5 radishes, grated or sliced thin (optional)

Dressing

1 cup mayo
1 cup cider or white vinegar
1/2 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup sugar
pepper to taste

Instructions

Mix together shredded vegetables.
Mix dressing ingredients together and stir into cabbage mix.

What’s for supper? Vol. 179: Stuffed grape leaves and Käsewegfall

Let’s have a pahty! Here’s what we ate this week (and don’t miss the video of Benny and Corrie rolling grape leaves like pros):

SATURDAY
Hamburgers and chips

I know I always say I have no memory of Saturday, but this time I really mean it.

SUNDAY
Chicken sandwiches with basil and tomato

This was supposed to be chicken caprese sandwiches, but I tragically forgot to buy mozzarella. They were still good, but the Käsewegfall loomed large. I had mine with salt and plenty of pepper, balsamic vinegar and olive oil on ciabatta bread.

I also like this sandwich with salami instead of roast chicken, which makes it even easier and cheaper.

Then we went to see Toy Story 4 at the drive in movie, where we discovered, as we re-discover each year, that my vehicle simply will not play the radio with the lights off. The movie was just okay anyway. Our popcorn game, though, was on point.

MONDAY
Pork ramen

Meh. Sometimes this is a really enjoyable meal, but it fell a little flat. Maybe it was just too humid for ramen. I sliced the pork thin and sautéed it lightly in sesame oil, then finished cooking it in soy sauce. We had soft boiled eggs, scallions, crunchy noodles, pickled ginger, and sesame seeds.

Anyway, I produced hot food. Two cheers!

TUESDAY
BLTs and tiramisu

Birthday! The birthday girl requested BLTs and tiramisu. I can’t claim we have any particular family recipe for BLTs, except that I think we’re up to seven pounds of bacon, which seems excessive to me, especially since I didn’t get the memo that it was okay to take more bacon because somebody went out and bought two more pounds.

Damien made the tiramisu using this recipe. Pretty tickled that the kids often choose this as their birthday treat. When I was that age, my heart’s desire was a cake in the shape of Garfield. My mother rented a pan and spent an entire day following a guide for where to put little blobs of icing in Garfield colors. Man, I hope I thanked her.

Here’s an unglamorous shot of the tiramisu in the middle of being demolished.

People added shaved chocolate to their individual pieces.

WEDNESDAY
Pork gryos, fried eggplant, stuffed grape leaves

It had been a big week of being hunched over a computer screen, so I was really glad to throw myself into a big kitchen project.

I’ve been wanting to make stuffed grape leaves forever. The wild grapes in the yard are having quite a year, so the kids had no trouble finding some fine, clean specimens. We followed this recipe from Saveur, more or less, which makes 60 grape leaves. It’s not hard, but there are many steps. You have to make the rice filling and let it cool, then boil the grape leaves, dunk them in ice water, and dry them, then roll them, then steam them.

Here is Benny gathering mint, which, as always, is also having quite a year:

And here she is drying off the grape leaves:

The girls did so well rolling them! I was truly impressed at how good they are with their little paws, and also how good Benny is at explaining what she’s doing. At one point, Corrie shouts, “I have a idea! Let’s have a pahty!” She says this several times a day, every day, just in case. Check out her proud smile at the end.

You know, we’re all having quite a year.

The recipe says to put three layers of leaves in the bottom of the pot to prevent scorching, but I had run out, so I used parchment paper instead. We only made about 30, since I didn’t think people would eat them.

They turned out so well! You squeeze a little lemon juice on top and have them with yogurt sauce. These are not perfect grape leaves, but they held together and tasted good, and we had a nice time making them.

I don’t know how to describe the flavor of grape leaves. Not cabbage, not asparagus. They have a sort of cool, woody, herby taste, and they are much more tender than I was expecting. The filling we used was packed with herbs, and the whole thing was somehow both oily and refreshing. I’d like to start making these at least once a year, when the leaves are abundant.

We also had pork gyros. I marinated the meat in the morning and Damien cooked it outside on the grill. So zippy and tasty. I’ll add a recipe card for the marinade at the end.

I used up all the tomatoes in the marinade, so we had the meat wrapped up in pita with just cucumbers, french fries, yogurt sauce, and hot sauce. Tasted perfect to me. Although honestly I have never gotten used to french fries being in there, and will probably skip it next time. So sue me. My mouth thinks it’s weird to have fries and bread in the same bite. But overall, this was a stupendous meal.

While he was cooking the meat, I fried some eggplant. You have to cut and salt the eggplant ahead of time to draw the moisture out, but the batter is simple and they fry quickly. I love this recipe because it tastes a little bland with the first bite, but this amazing warmth starts to sneak up on you until it’s quite a little pahty in your mouth. Wonderful texture, too — crisp and knobbly, with soft, tender eggplant inside. Very, very fond of fried eggplant. Recipe card at the end.

THURSDAY
Tuna noodle

I promised the kids tuna noodle, but then realized we’d be out of town on Friday. But a promise is a promise. Damien and I went out for an evening run at dinner anyway, so I really wasn’t hungry when we got back. I think I had beans and pita bread and a plum or something around 10 PM. Summah!

FRIDAY
And away we go. Oh, there are still adults in the house, so there, robbers.

Here are some recipe cards:

Fried eggplant

You can salt the eggplant slices many hours ahead of time, even overnight, to dry them before frying.

Ingredients

3 medium eggplants
salt for drying out the eggplant

veg oil for frying

3 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder
1 Tbsp cumin
1 Tbsp paprika
1 Tbsp red pepper flakes
2-1/2 cups water
1 Tbsp veg oil
optional: kosher salt for sprinkling

Instructions

Cut the ends off the eggplant and slice it into one-inch slices.
Salt them thoroughly on both sides and lay on paper towels on a tray (layering if necessary). Let sit for half an hour (or as long as overnight) to draw out some of the moisture.
Mix flour and seasonings in a bowl, add the water and teaspoon of oil, and beat into a batter. Preheat oven for warming.
Put oil in heavy pan and heat until it's hot but not smoking. Prepare a tray with paper towels.
Dredge the eggplant slices through the batter on both sides, scraping off excess if necessary, and carefully lay them in the hot oil, and fry until crisp, turning once. Fry in batches, giving them plenty of room to fry.
Remove eggplant slices to tray with paper towels and sprinkle with kosher salt if you like. You can keep them warm in the oven for a short time.
Serve with yogurt sauce or marinara sauce.

Yogurt sauce

Ingredients

32 oz full fat Greek yogurt
5 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
fresh parsley or dill, chopped (optional)

Instructions

Mix all ingredients together. Use for spreading on grilled meats, dipping pita or vegetables, etc.

Marinade for pork gyros

Marinate thinly-sliced meat for several hours, then grill over the coals or broil in the oven. Serve wrapped up in pita with cucumbers, tomatoes, french fries, hot sauce, and yogurt sauce. This marinade is enough for about five pounds of meat.

Ingredients

4 medium tomatoes diced and smashed a bit
2 onions grated
2 Tbsp oregano (or a large handful of fresh oregano, chopped)
1/2 cup olive oil
3/4 cup lemon juice
2 Tbsp paprika
12 cloves garlic, crushed or minced
kosher salt and pepper

What’s for supper? Vol. 174: Tiramisu! OH!!!!!! Tiramisu.

Another birthday! The birthday girl asked for Damien’s tiramisu. Without even having to ask, he got plenty of help from Corrie. Here, I ask Corrie about the ingredients she’s using:

And now you know. (If you need it to be more specific, here is the recipe he uses.) He made it without shaved chocolate out of respect for my migraines. I forgot to take a pic, but here is a slice from ages past:

We love tiramisu, not only for the heavenly taste, but because we get to sing the song. When Irene was little, she used to sing the Kalamazoo song from Wonderpets — only she would go, “Tamazooooo . . . OHHHHHH!!!!! . . . Tamazoooooo . . . ” and on the “ohhhhh” part, she would tip her chin up and close her eyes and howl like a little wolf. So all day long, there was a lot of happy howling.

SATURDAY
Cumin chicken with chickpeas and tabbouleh

I’ve had a hankering for tabbouleh for weeks now. Unfortunately, this meal did not dehanker me. I couldn’t find any bulghur, so I used couscous. That would have been fine, but I didn’t drain it properly, and it was soggy. The flavor was good, though, and I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t have it for lunch the rest of the week. I made it with lemon juice, kosher salt and pepper, tomatoes and cucumbers, and lots of fresh parsley and mint. And yes, that was me saying “Wait a minute!” out loud in the produce aisle, quickly googling “is wild mint edible” and then thriftily putting back the store-bought mint. Take that, invasive species.

I also put mint in the lemony onions, because I forgot to save back parsley; but I forgot to eat any onions, so I don’t know if it was good.

The cumin chicken with chickpeas and yogurt sauce and pita is a reliably yummy meal, and once again I must emphasize that if you never have the chicken skin that’s been roasted after marinating in cumin and yogurt, your life has been a sham.

I also intend to roast many more chickpeas this summer. These chickpeas in the picture are a little less crunchy, which is how the kids like them, Little olive oil and whatever seasoning you like, and if you take your time and roast them until they’re crunchy, they make a wonderful snack.

SUNDAY
Grilled ham and cheese pita pockets, strawberries, fries

This is an ideal childhood meal. Adorable round sandwiches, fried gently in butter, cheerfully patterned like a giraffe, and stuffed with melted cheddar and a slice of ham.

So of course they all acted like I was serving them garbage stuffed with garbage. Ingrates!

MONDAY
Hamburgers, chips, raw broccoli

As you can see, I was eating a hamburger in bed. I had a reason, but I forget what.

TUESDAY
BIIIIIIIG SANDWICHES, party mix, tiramisu

One morning, when Clara was a toddler, she was having a bad day, feeling sick, screaming at everything. We finally just put her to bed, and she slept for hours and hours, all day long. Clara was this teeny, weeny little person. Her middle name is “Petra,” but her sisters used to call her “Clara Paper,” because she was so fair and slight, with enormous grey eyes, a heavy mop of dark gold curls.

When she finally woke up, it was almost dinner time, and we asked what she would like to eat. She said in her squeaky little voice, “I want . . . I want BIIIIIIIIIIIG SANDWICHES!” and pointed straight up to the ceiling. So that’s what we call it now, when we have sandwiches with everything possible on them. AND TODAY, THAT LITTLE GIRL IS GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL.

So this Tuesday was Dora’s birthday, and she modestly asked for Big Sandwiches, party mix, and tiramisu for her birthday meal. For my big sandwich, I had roast beef and capicola, provolone, tomatoes, and bacon.

It turns out I can’t eat party mix unless I want to spend the rest of the day listening to my heart try to escape from my chest, so that’s exciting. The bacon stays, though.

Here is the birthday girl admiring how well her new salt lamp deionizes things and whatnot.

WEDNESDAY
Faintly gingery pork, peppers, onions, mushrooms; corn on the cob

I cut up a bunch of pork, Corrie cut up a bunch of peppers, and then I called Clara and told her to cut up a bunch of green and sweet peppers and onions and mix it all together with a bottle of ginger salad dressing. This is how most meals get made at my house: as a group effort, over the course of many hours, with phone calls. It’s a miracle we don’t all just eat hamburgers in bed every day.

So I spread it all in some shallow pans and stuck it under the broiler.

I had it in my head that everyone loves this meal, but it turns out I love it and everyone else has been barely tolerating it. OH WELL. To be fair, the marinade turned out to be extremely bland, and did not produce the gingery wonderland I was anticipating.

I also boiled up some corn on the cob. Shucking the corn helped Corrie through that awful, painful transition between watching TV (happiness) and not watching TV (intense and intolerable suffering).

THURSDAY
Drunken noodles with beef

I’ve made this once before, after modifying a Jet Tila recipe. My recipe card is at the end.

I did all the chopping and stuff in the morning, and had it all laid out in separate bowls like on a cooking show

so it came together really quickly when it was supper time. You boil up the noodles and set them aside, then brown up some garlic, add egg and peppers, then add beef and onions, then put the tomatoes, sauce, and noodles back in, and heat it all through. I made TONS of it, because I can’t help myself. Happily, it’s good cold.

I’m not sure if it was better this time, or if I was just hungrier because I didn’t snack on a full meal’s worth of ingredients while I was still cooking. Either way, it was delicious. A really zippy, flavorful sauce, but not too terribly spicy (and some people added red pepper flakes). The fish sauce mellows out just enough and is right at home with the beef and tomatoes.

A great all-in-one meal, and you could use different kinds of meat or seafood. One of my kids put parmesan cheese on it. I don’t even freaking know what to say. Don’t do that.

FRIDAY
Tuna boats, smiley fries

According to tradition, we’ll be going out to eat with the graduating senior, while the people at home toil with tuna. I’m not sure what I will order, but she chose an Italian restaurant, which is always good, and someone else will be cooking, which is always always always always good.

Okay, here are the recipe cards!

Cumin chicken thighs with chickpeas in yogurt sauce

A one-pan dish, but you won't want to skip the sides. Make with red onions and cilantro in lemon juice, pita bread and yogurt sauce, and pomegranates, grapes, or maybe fried eggplant.

Ingredients

18 chicken thighs
32 oz full fat yogurt, preferably Greek
4 Tbsp lemon juice
3 Tbsp cumin, divided
4-6 cans chickpeas
olive oil
salt and pepper
2 red onions, sliced thinly

For garnishes:

2 red onions sliced thinly
lemon juice
salt and pepper
a bunch fresh cilantro, chopped
32 oz Greek yogurt for dipping sauce
3 cloves garlic, minced or crushed

Instructions

Make the marinade early in the day or the night before. Mix full fat Greek yogurt and with lemon juice, four tablespoons of water, and two tablespoons of cumin, and mix this marinade up with chicken parts, thighs or wings. Marinate several hours.

About an hour before dinner, preheat the oven to 425.

Drain and rinse four or five 15-oz cans of chickpeas and mix them up with a few glugs of olive oil, the remaining tablespoon of cumin, salt and pepper, and two large red onions sliced thin.

Spread the seasoned chickpeas in a single layer on two large sheet pans, then make room among the chickpeas for the marinated chicken (shake or scrape the extra marinade off the chicken if it’s too gloppy). Then it goes in the oven for almost an hour. That’s it for the main part.

The chickpeas and the onions may start to blacken a bit, and this is a-ok. You want the chickpeas to be crunchy, and the skin of the chicken to be a deep golden brown, and crisp. The top pan was done first, and then I moved the other one up to finish browning as we started to eat. Sometimes when I make this, I put the chickpeas back in the oven after we start eating, so some of them get crunchy and nutty all the way through.

Garnishes:

While the chicken is cooking, you prepare your three garnishes:

-Chop up some cilantro for sprinkling if people like.

-Slice another two red onions nice and thin, and mix them in a dish with a few glugs of lemon juice and salt and pepper and more cilantro.

-Then take the rest of the tub of Greek yogurt and mix it up in another bowl with lemon juice, a generous amount of minced garlic, salt, and pepper.

Yogurt sauce

Ingredients

32 oz full fat Greek yogurt
5 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
fresh parsley or dill, chopped (optional)

Instructions

Mix all ingredients together. Use for spreading on grilled meats, dipping pita or vegetables, etc.

Drunken noodles with beef (after Jet Tila)

This is a less-spicy version. For more heat, use jalapenos or other hotter peppers, leave the membranes and seeds in and add red pepper flakes before or after cooking.

Ingredients

Sauce:

6 Tbsp soy sauce
6 Tbsp oyster sauce
9 Tbsp fish sauce
6 Tbsp sugar
2 Tbsp Sriracha or hot sauce
2 Tbsp minced garlic
6 oz fresh basil leaves in a chiffonade (sliced into thin ribbons)

30+ oz wide rice noodles

canola oil for cooking

8 Tbsp minced garlic
8 eggs beaten
6 serrano chiles or jalapeños, seeded and sliced thin
2 lg onions, sliced thin

4 oz fresh basil, roughly chopped
2-3 pints grape tomatoes, halved
3-4 lbs roast beef, sliced as thinly as possible

Instructions

Cook the rice noodles according to directions, and set them aside.

Combine the sauce ingredients in a small bowl.

Heat a very large sauté pan with oil and brown the minced garlic. Add chiles and beaten eggs, and scramble in the pan until the eggs are in cooked bits.

Add onion and sliced beef and cook until beef is barely browned.

Add cooked noodles, tomatoes, chopped basil leaves, and sauce.

Keep stirring and combining until everything is saucy and hot. Serve immediately.

What’s for supper? Vol, 77: Fish tacos are real, man.

In which we have an awful lot of cake for the home stretch of Lent.

SATURDAY
Grilled ham and pepper jack cheese sandwiches, roast asparagus with butter and lemon

I’m trying to wean the family off expecting some kind of potato-based side dish with every meal. That’s one Saturday under our belts. No one has died of chip deficiency, yet.

***

SUNDAY
Just pretty much all the food in the world

Sunday, we had two confirmations

and a birthday

The confirmandi requested red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting and tiramisu, respectively, and the birthday girl asked for ice cream sodas for her special dessert.
I like this picture because you can see everyone spring into action when I put the food out:

Damien made the tiramisu with this excellent recipe the night before, and added chocolate shavings right before serving. This time, I bought him ladyfingers fresh from the bakery, and guess what? They sop up a lot more rum than stale, pre-packaged ladyfingers. The party got pretty hot for a while there.

The red velvet cake was from a box. Actually, because I don’t know my colors yet, it turned out to be one box of red velvet cake and one box of yellow cake; so I swirled them together and attempted to pass it off as a flame pattern for the descent of the Holy Spirit or something.

I used this basic recipe for cream cheese frosting.

So we had cake and fruit salad and fruit punch and cookies and cheese and crackers at the reception after the confirmation, then went home and had pizzas, veggies and hummus, cake with strawberries and cream cheese frosting and tiramisu for lunch, and then for dinner, cheeseburgers and chips, and ice cream sodas for dessert.

***

MONDAY
Fish tacos, corn chips

For reasons I don’t fully understand, several of the children felt unwell on Monday and stayed home from school. Something about their stomachs not feeling great.

They recovered in time for dinner.

I’ve heard a lot of grousing about how there is no such thing as fish tacos, or fish tacos aren’t a thing. But (a) they are delicious and (b) here is a picture, so I guess we’ll keep eating them.

Just regular old cheapo fish sticks, with nice, crunchy shredded cabbage, sliced avocados, salsa, cilantro, sour cream, and a personal lime on a tortilla. Best imaginary meal ever.

***

TUESDAY
Gochujang bulgoki, white rice, nori

Normally, I prep this dish the night before, so it can marinate overnight. But I forgot, and made it in the morning, and it was still great by evening. I also grated the carrots, since I didn’t feel like cutting matchsticks, and that was great, too. I sliced a hunk of pork thin and mixed it up with the carrots and a couple of sliced onions, along with a triple recipe of this sauce:

5 Tbs gochujang
2 Tbs honey
2 tsp sugar
2 Tbs soy sauce
5 cloves minced garlic

So then you let it marinate as long as you can, and then fry it up in a little oil while the rice is cooking.
It’s a wonderful meal, very warming and peppy. You can, no, you must use the nori (or Romaine lettuce) to scoop up little bundles of meat and rice for gobbling purposes.

(This is an old picture. We ate zero string beans.)

That reminds me, time to order some more gochujang. It’s very handy to have around. Try it with tuna instead of mayo. Ha cha cha!

***

WEDNESDAY
Quesadillas, raw veggies

I think this was the day we suddenly remembered we hadn’t brought in a school treat for the aforementioned birthday kid. Her teacher requests treats of fruit or veggies, and that’s fine, that’s fine, it’s not communist or anything. We subverted it by making these alarming little disembodied apple grins with peanut butter and mini marshmallows.

They were well-received.

***

THURSDAY
Pepperoncini beef sandwiches, potato puffs, salad, German chocolate cake

Another birthday! My oldest requested this wonderfully easy meal: Throw a chuck roast in a slow cooker with a jar of pepperoncini with the tops cut off and the juice, and off you go.

At 11 a.m., I suddenly remembered to pull the meat out of the freezer. So this situation, along with the risotto situation, is where the Instant Pot really shines: In less than two hours, a rock-hard roast was cooked all the way through. It actually finished cooking too soon, so I kept it on “keep warm” for several hours, and ended up overcooking it. Oops. Still yummy.

We sliced it up and served it on rolls with pepper jack cheese and horseradish sauce.

I’m counting on your Friday meat deprivation to make this horrible cell phone picture look good.

Birthday girl also had her heart set on a German chocolate cake. Know why it’s called that? Because the guy who invented it was named “German.” Now you know something! This cake is a tremendous pain in the neck, but so good. We went with this recipe from food.com. The cake was good, but I had to fight the urge to just sort of swim around in that coconut pecan frosting.

Here’s the birthday girl getting some help with her birthday candles:

Sigh, oldest and youngest, 19 and 2. SIGH SIGH SIGH. I’m fine. We’re all fine.

***

FRIDAY
French toast casserole, mangoes

This is where I get back at the kids for leaving the bread bags open all week, so the bread gets all stale and crushed. It’s not really very good revenge, because it’s delicious.

***
OKAY, we have our seder on Holy Saturday, so all next week is when the schmaltz hits the road. Stay tuned. . . if you dare.

What’s for supper? Vol. 67: Tiramiswho?

It’s a race against time as my battery dies, so never mind the intro, here’s the weekly menu:

SATURDAY
Nachos, root beer floats

Very basic. Tortilla chips, seasoned ground beef, cheese on top, served with sour cream and salsa. No complaints. Oh, I happened to have some cilantro, which I used copiously.

I even took some off before taking the picture, because I’m not kidding about the copious, but then I put it on again before eating it. I try hard to taste cilantro as soapy, but it just tastes like freshness, hope, and summertime to me. You are all crazy and I refuse to affirm your stupid life experience.

SUNDAY
Antipasto, fettucine with ragu, garlic bread, tiramisu

Sunday was my husband’s birthday, and he wanted nothing more than to spend the day cooking, so I let him. I also let him take the kids sledding. My generosity is boundless.

The antipasto dish was nothing inspired, just some fresh mozzarella, dry salami, and olives and marinated artichoke hearts, served with pita chips.

The ragu, however, was completely amazing. He used two pounds of ground pork and one of beef, and by the time it was done cooking, the meat was velvety. You will read this recipe and think, “Well, this is just a meat sauce,” but it’s not. Try it, trust me. It’s heavenly.

You could almost feast on the smell alone, but then you also get to eat it! This picture is so sadly inadequate. The worst thing about winter is that by the time it’s dinner time, it’s too dark to take a decent picture with my rotten camera. YES, it’s the WORST THING.

Here is the tiramisu recipe he used. He made it the day before, so it soaked all night. Benny helped him by putting on a tutu and licking the beaters.

He also grated a chocolate bar over the top before serving.

The tiramisu was perfect. Never had better anywhere. I woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible stab of guilt because I forgot to put birthday candles on it, but I suspect I am the only one losing sleep over that.

MONDAY
Beef vegetable soup, beer bread

This was supposed to be beef barley soup, but I forgot to put barley in. It had a great flavor, but it was weird to have an obvious missing ingredient. It was like listening to someone with a not-unpleasant speech impediment. It doesn’t bother you, but it’s hard not to keep noticing it.

I fried up minced garlic with diced onions and carrots in a little olive oil, then added strips of a chuck roast or something, and fried that until it was almost done.
Then I added a can of diced tomatoes, a few cups of beef broth, a bunch of red wine, and a bunch of sliced mushrooms and some pepper, and let be cozy in the slow cooker all day.

We also had two loaves of beer bread, which I got my teenage daughter to make. For reasons I trust I don’t need to explain, we had some leftover chocolate bock (ptui, ptui) in the house. I mean that I trust I don’t need to explain the “leftover,” as in “undrunk,” as in “not ever,” as in “chocolate? Why would you do that to beer?” part. I can explain why it was in the house in the first place, but my battery is dying fast and I don’t have a charger today. So I’ll just give you the recipe and let you know that beer bread tastes fine with chocolate bock, and getting baked for an hour is a fitting sentence for the crime of being chocolate bock.

TUESDAY
Chicken nuggets, baked potatoes, peas

All undercooked! I like to have a theme.

WEDNESDAY
Slow cooker sweet and sour chicken mango wraps, rice

This was my new recipe for the week, from A Year of Slow Cooking. I liked it! I’m predisposed to like this website because she’s got several recipes tagged as “flops,” to warn you away from trying them. I appreciate that approach to cooking and to blogging.

I made one crock with just the jam and soy sauce, for very mild chicken for timid children, and one with all the stuff, jalapenos and ginger and everything. The flavor was great. I took a terrible picture which will probably dissuade you from trying it, but I recommend this dish.

It would, as the website says, make a nice light summer meal. I also bought some spinach-imbued wraps for those who can’t see their way to clear to wrapping up meat in lettuce, and those were good, too.

THURSDAY
Quesadillas, chips, carrots

I had “grilled ham and cheese” on the menu, but I bought shredded cheese, apparently thinking of quesadillas, so that’s what we had, because there are always millions of tortillas in the house. Benny insisted on grilled ham. No cheese, just hot bread with ham in it.

FRIDAY
Giant pancake, scrambled eggs

BYE, WEEK. I HATED YOU.

And now I have a yen for some new kind of meat soup. Who’s got something exciting for me to try?

Spicy Chili Verde

Ingredients

For the salsa verde:

For serving:

Instructions

tiramisu cake

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Instructions

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Meatloaf (actually two giant meatloaves)

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plenty of salt, pepper, garlic powder or fresh garlic, onion powder, fresh parsley, etc.

Instructions

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Spicy Chili Verde

Ingredients

For the salsa verde:

For serving:

Instructions

Chicken shawarma

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Yogurt sauce

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Spaghetti carbonara

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Chicken shawarma

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Tom Nichols' Grandmother's Leg of Lamb

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Sushi rice

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Calzones

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French bread

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koftas

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Yogurt sauce

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Smoked chicken thighs with sugar rub

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Coleslaw

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Dressing

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Fried eggplant

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veg oil for frying

3 cups flour

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Yogurt sauce

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Marinade for pork gyros

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Cumin chicken thighs with chickpeas in yogurt sauce

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For garnishes:

Instructions

Garnishes:

Yogurt sauce

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Drunken noodles with beef (after Jet Tila)

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