Do you know how pinhole cameras work? I don’t, really, although I have seen what they can do. You block out the light in a closed-off area, except for one small hole, and direct light through that hole onto the opposite wall of the box. Then you will see a projected image of what’s outside, on the bright side — except the image will be upside-down.
People build pinhole cameras intentionally, but sometimes they happen spontaneously. I recently saw photos from an Australian man whose whole garage became a camera obscura. The door faced the setting sun, and the insulating material that lines the top edge had a tiny gap; so when the man stepped into the dim interior, he could see clearly his driveway projected on the ceiling. The colored recycling bins, the front of his car, and even the pavement were all clearly there, upside down.
It was such a compelling image: The workaday car bumper and plastic bins projecting themselves up above, turning jewel-toned in the darkness. They had something important to say, and the thing was just: “I exist.”
Worth saying, and weirdly beautiful, and obscurely sad.
That was the work of a camera obscura. But did you know that everything is always projecting an image of itself on everything, all the time? We can’t see these images, because they all mix together and make white light. When a camera obscura gets involved, the pinhole blocks out all the images but one, and that’s why we can see it.
Maybe I’ve garbled the science, it makes sense to me as far as I understand it. Sometimes I become aware of this ceaseless projecting happening around me. I briefly know that every created thing – not only living things but everything that is made – proclaims its presence out of the sheer insistent, witless joy of being here. Everything that exists comes from God, and it can’t help sending something of itself out into the world, just because it is good. It’s a very simple message: “God made me, and now here I am!”
Sometimes I feel it, when I encounter the goodness of creation hidden in the hearts of wet grasses, buried under layers of loam, sparkling remotely in stars we rarely see, or in other dear artifacts of creation: In human love, in innocence, in beauty, in truth. Sometimes I see it, and I know deeply that creation is good. Most of the time, I don’t. It’s just too dark.
As I write, where I write from, we are counting down to the darkest day of the year. The calendar is like a box that gets a little smaller every day, with less and less light, less and less warmth, at a sharper and more narrow angle away from the sun.
That has, in fact, been the history of mankind. When God made the world, he made it so bright, so vital, so very fresh and alive. The water didn’t just sit, it teemed with life. God made it, and it was good; and then he gave it to us, and told us to multiply. The created world was so good that it shouted itself, projecting itself everywhere all the time, out of the simple joy of being something rather than nothing. It was a garden: Something that makes more of itself; and God and man walked together through it, beholding it, enjoying it.
Then came the box. Mankind sinned, and fabricated walls, a boundary between us and the Lord, and in the shadows we strained to see any goodness.
We began to be people living in darkness, and the history of mankind became the story of that box getting smaller and smaller.
But the box was not impermeable. It could be pierced . . .
Happy Friday! I am putting off going out into the blowing rain to bring a secret santa present in to a kid who forgot it. The kids are miffed about the rain in general, because it’s washing away all the snow right before Christmas. But I am not mad about the break from the freezing cold! So maybe I am looking forward to going out into the rain, after all.
I should warn you, I’ve gotten VERY crafty lately. Some people feel guilty for not doing a lot of crafts at Christmas. Please don’t do that to yourself! I enjoy crafting, and that is literally the only reason I do it. No moral issues whatsoever, except that I’m trying to be better about cleaning up after myself afterwards, or at very least not getting so much glue on Damien’s work table. Ok, you have now been warned re: the crafts!
Here’s what we ate this week:
SATURDAY Leftovers and pizza pockets
Saturday was just a regular errands day, and I got my skeleton pals decorated for Christmas.
Not the most creative display, but they look pretty cheerful.
Saturday evening, I got busy and made ten little pavlova balls, a batch of lemon curd, a batch of raspberry coulis, and a dozen sugared raspberries. I’d been drooling over this recipe for pavlova bombs from Recipe Tin Eats, but it was too much work for a regular dessert, and no one in the family would want it for their birthday. NO ONE BUT ME, THAT IS. And it was almost my birthday!
SUNDAY Adults Chinese food; kids ravioli; pavlova bombs for all
Sunday after Mass, Damien had to work, but I spent a very pleasant afternoon stringing lights all over the living room and dining room and tree. Actually the tree part was less pleasant, because I thought and thought and thought about which way I wanted to string the lights together so that they would end up with the right end of the plug at the bottom, and I still messed it up. I think I probably plugged it into itself somehow, which helps no one. Also I was listening to my favorite Christmas album, but it was a bad connection and kept stopping and starting, and I was getting a little huffy.
So I begged the kids to help me, and they obligingly got up and unstrung all the lights, so I could start over. While they were taking the lights off the tree, Damien came in, and they instantly started trying to convince him Christmas was over and he had slept through it.
And there we have the duality of teenagers: They are good kids, but they are terrible kids.
Then Damien and I went out to eat! (My actual birthday was Monday, but weekend birthdays are better.) We had pork buns and egg rolls, and I had some kind of sizzling triple delight situation
and it earned its name. Then we came home and I put together the pavlova bombs!
The reason I made the pavlovas the night before is because the way to keep them from cracking is to bake them, turn off the oven, and then leave them in there for a long time to cool down very, very slowly. So I left them in there overnight, and then took them out in the morning and covered them with plastic wrap. Then on Sunday evening, I whipped some cream and put the lemon and raspberry filing in pastry bags, and assembled the sugared raspberries and some mint leaves, and Benny chopped up some roast pistachios for me.
Here’s all the elements. Don’t the pavlovas look pretty? They’re so dainty and glossy, but they’re very stable.
To fill the pavlovas, I poked a hole with a skewer in the bottom and swizzled it around inside a bit to make room for the fillings. First I put in the raspberry coulis, which was pretty thin, so it was really more like letting it drip in, than piping it in. Then I piped in the lemon curd until the pavlova was full. Then I plugged the hole with a dab of whipped cream, turned it over, and topped it with a big blob of whipped cream. Then each one got garnished with a sugared raspberry, a few mint leaves, and a sprinkle of chopped pistachios.
Prettiest thing I’ve ever made in the kitchen.
And when you break them open, they’re even prettier!
Absolutely fantastic. The two fillings were wonderfully tart, which was excellent with the sugary pavlova and the cool whipped cream. Then some of the spoonfuls also had the nuts and the mint, and wow, it was just luscious and exciting. The different flavors and textures played with each other SO well.
Nagi’s recipe is clear as a bell, and I have no questions or clarifications. My only tiny quibble is that the lemon curd has lemon zest in it, which is obviously great for the flavor, but not so much for the texture. At first I thought I had let the egg scramble while I was cooking the curd, but it was just the zest. This is the MINOREST of minor quibbles, though, and honestly, if I ever make this again, I’ll probably just follow the recipe exactly again.
Then I got presents! I’m a little embarrassed to be 51 years old and still getting this many presents, but I really love getting presents, so this is what we do. Damien gave me a cheese-making kit, some gorgeous earrings, a special beautiful mug, and Brisbane by Eugene Vodolazkin; Benny gave me a drawing of Our Lady of Guadalupe; Lena gave me a storytelling card game; Sophia gave me some lovely enameled tin earrings; Clara gave me a wonderful mystical blue ceramic bowl she made, and Lucy gave me a pair of socks she knitted for me, with a skull pattern.
Amazing gifts, every last one. Then we retired to watch the new Spinal Tap movie in bed, and it was so gently amusing that I feel asleep halfway through.
Oh, one last thing! These sugared raspberries were so nice.
They’re super easy, but you have to make them ahead of time. You just brush them with egg white and then roll them in sugar. It’s supposed to be sanding sugar, which is more coarse and sparkly than table sugar, but I didn’t have any. The regular sugar turned out great. The raspberries have this fragile little sweet, crackly shell on them that feels really special. Definitely adding this into my arsenal for garnishing future fancy desserts.
MONDAY Chicken pot pie
Monday I gleefully took out the chicken pot pie I made made and froze before Thanksgiving. I left it wrapped in three layers of tinfoil and heated it up (without thawing it) for a few hours in a lowish oven, and then turned the oven up for about half an hour before supper, until I could hear the pie bubbling.
The very center was still a little cold, so I nuked it and it was great.
Crust still flaky, filling nice and tender and tasty. I was very pleased. I adore chicken pot pie.
We decided that Tuesday would be a Fisher Flop Out day, because the logistics of getting to school were gonna be horrendous. So we stayed up a little late and watched Gremlins, because it turns out I’ve been caring too deeply about a lot of the wrong things most of my life, and it’s actually an okay movie, whatever. The story about how she found out Santa isn’t real gets me every time.
TUESDAY Aldi pizza
Tuesday, Damien and I took a kid for a long-awaited medical appointment out of state, and we are gone alllllll day. When we got back, Damien dropped me and kid off at home, then got some pizza and cooked it and I basically just ate pizza and flopped around exhaustedly and then went to bed.
WEDNESDAY Roast beef sandwiches, chips
On Wednesday, I cooked a hunk of roast beef in the morning, again following the first part of this recipe from Sip and Feast. I dry brined it with kosher salt, pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder for 90 minutes, then cooked it at 500 for 15 minutes, then turned it down to 300 and let it cook for another half hour or so. Then I let it cool, wrapped it in plastic wrap, and put it in the fridge. Cut up some tomatoes and put some nice smoked gouda on a platter, and put everything away.
Then I set out and dropped off some paperwork, loaded a bunch of clothes into the dryer at the laundromat, picked up the kids, and went to . . . deep breath . . . Five Below and Old Navy and Barnes and Noble and Michael’s, and then back to the laundromat, and when we got home, BOY were my feet glad I had already mostly made supper. Damien sliced up the meat and we had lovely, lovely sandwiches.
I put mine under the broiler to melt the cheese, then added the tomatoes and some horseradish sauce. An absolute delight of a sandwich. (You may recall that, last time I made roast beef sandwiches, the oven died before I could toast the bread properly, and then you may recall that the moment after Damien fixed the oven, the dryer broke. You are now all caught up with Fisher Appliance Calamities, except that the trick that makes my car start stopped working, and we think maybe the alternator damaged the battery. Whatever, it’s fine, it’s whatever!)
That evening, I made 22 of these little 12-pointed paper stars. I made a little video to show how it’s done.
which is just a great album. I prefer this so VASTLY over those smarmy 50’s cocktail lounge versions of these songs that everyone thinks of as essential Christmas music. Start your kids on this album young, so they’re not jerks about it when they get older!
THURSDAY Ham, peas, mashed potatoes
I really don’t know what I did all day Thursday. I think I slept late and then ???. Oh, I did some sad banking and then spent an absurdly long time trying and failing to buy a dryer. Like, I want to give Home Depot my money, and allegedly they also want that? But you’d never know it, by the way their website is. (BAD.)
It was a rare day in which I hadn’t done any dinner prep, so thank goodness for ham. When we got home, I sliced it up and put it in a dish with some water, covered it with tinfoil, and put it in the oven to warm up (it was already cooked, and it heats up faster if it’s sliced) and then quickly made some mashed potatoes and heated up some peas.
I didn’t take a picture, but here are twelve photos of the last twelve times I made this exact same meal, each time to wild acclaim from my family:
Nobody can open a bag of frozen peas like me, I tell you.
Thursday night, I hung up all the stars I had made
The yellow ones are made with this paper from Michael’s that comes in four related shades in one pack. I used three different shades for each star, and I like the effect. I also got some red foil paper, and was annoyed to discover it is only foil on one side! Oh well.
I also sliced up a bunch of oranges to dry. I put the slices on baking racks on a pan in a 250 oven for about two hours, flipping them every half hour or so.
They were still somewhat juicy at this point, but they were starting to get little brown marks from the racks, so I just left them out to air dry more overnight.
FRIDAY Fish tacos, guacamole
Oranges still a little damp! That’s okay; they’re dry enough to work with.
It’s raining, as I mentioned, but I was already kind of sweaty from yoga, so I went out and clipped a bunch of pine needles for some stars I want to make. I think the oranges, some cranberries, and these stars will make a really pretty garland. I like making Christmas decorations that will continue to look bright and pretty after Christmas, when there is still plenty of winter left and we will need some color. Here is a garland from a few years ago, that we left up long after Christmas:
This one has oranges, lemons, limes, and grapefruit, but this year I’m just doing oranges.
So then I discovered that the Christmas card I made for a dear friend, and which I had miraculously chased everybody in the house down to sign, had somehow gotten wet, and I set about making a replacement card and maybe went a little crackerdog over this for various reasons, at which point Damien suggested that HE could go to the laundromat, mail my card, drop off the forgotten secret santa present, go to adoration, and pick up the kids, and I didn’t even have to put pants on. Then he brought me some coffee and headed out into the rain. I guess I will go wipe the glue off his worktable, and then we will be even.
We’ve heading into the home stretch of Chanukah
and I am thinking about blintzes and latkes and maybe sufganiyot. Heck, maybe I will make one or more of those tonight. The kids are not crazy about fish tacos, but nobody can resist a jelly donut. Yeah, I think I will make some jelly donuts. Usually I follow a King Arthur recipe, but I think I will try Smitten Kitchen’s version this year. Smitten Kitchen has been very good to us lately, and I like the looks of those donuts.
4ribscelery, diced OR one big bunch of leeks, diced
1onion, diced
1bunchthyme, finely chopped
3chicken breasts, diced
2-3potatoes, peeled and diced
6Tbspbutter
6Tbspflour
3cupsconcentrated chicken broth (I use almost double the amount of bouillon to make this)
2Tbsppepper
egg yolk for brushing on top crust
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 425.
In a large pan, cook the bacon pieces until they are browned. Take the cooked bacon out and pour off most of the grease.
Add the onion and celery to the remaining bacon grease and cook, stirring, until soft. Return the bacon to the pan.
Add the thyme, pepper, and butter and cook until butter is melted. Add the flour and whisk, cooking for another few minutes.
Whisk in the chicken broth and continue cooking for a few more minutes until it thickens up. Stir in the chicken and potato and keep warm, stirring occasionally, until you're ready to use it.
Pour filling into bottom crust, cover with top crust, brush with beaten egg. Bake, uncovered, for about an hour. If it is browning too quickly, cover loosely with tin foil.
When Walter Ciszek was a young Jesuit, he got his wish to go to Russia to minister to the spiritually starved people there suffering under an atheist communist regime. But when he was imprisoned on false charges of being a Vatican spy in 1941, he got a rude awakening. Some people desperately wanted to receive the sacraments and were glad he was there, but a lot more hated him on sight, just because he was a priest. Decades of propaganda had taught them that priests were parasites, oppressors and perverts.
It was, of course, the government that had taught the Russian people to think this way. That is how oppressive governments often work: They don’t just openly present themselves as the enemy whose goal it is to make the masses miserable. What they do is much more effective and harder to undo: They make the masses complicit. They get people to spy on each other; they get people to mistrust each other. They tell disgusting lies about large groups of people, and they get them to wish evil upon each other.
You probably think I am talking about the Trump administration. Well, I am, because they have managed to get a lot of American citizens to become complicit in our own country’s degradation. People in my generation grew up reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, which ends “with liberty and justice for all,” but now half the people I went to school with gleefully wave the flag over developments like beating and arresting peaceful protestors, threatening the free press and forcing the church underground. The Bill of Rights? What’s that?
This degradation has also affected American Christianity. One of my kids recently told me that when she sees someone wearing a cross, her first thought is “Oh, no,” because in 2025 America, the bigger the fuss you make about being a Christian in public (especially on TV or online), the more likely you are to be cruel. This is the experience she had going to Catholic school: Many of the kids who came from those wholesome, upstanding families that were the backbone of the community were often the same ones who doodled swastikas, mocked people with foreign accents and yapped about women being servants and incubators. Some of the teachers pushed back, but some of them didn’t. The Beatitudes? What’s that?
Happy Friday! We are just over a week away from the shortest day of the year, and then we start getting more light. Hooray!
I hope your Advent is going well, for those of you who observe it. I’m having a freakishly efficient month. Finished Christmas shopping a few days ago, doing tons of cleaning and decluttering, and I’m currently not behind on any paid work. We’ve been managing to light the Advent candles and do the Jesse tree ornaments and readings about half the time, which is not a bad record for this vicinity.
We’ve even mostly been adhering to our screen-free Advent evenings. In the past, we’ve done 7-9:00 Monday through Friday, but this year we’re doing 7:00 onward Monday through Thursday, and then shooting for a movie (rather than endlessly rewatching the same TV shows) on Fridays. The kids have been reading, drawing, and playing games, but mostly hanging around yacking. I have been falling asleep on the couch. Oh, such naps I’ve been having. Yesterday evening’s nap was a real drooler!
SATURDAY Leftovers and popcorn chicken
We ended up making tons of extra trips along with shopping because we had to pick up this and that, and also we got our asses to confession, which is #1 on my must-do Advent list. The confession line was possibly the least efficient thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I discovered that I’ve completed the transformation into the cheerful, bossy middle-aged lady who tells everyone where to sit. There is NO REASON for the confession line to be so confusing. All there needs to be is a sign on the wall telling people where to line up! Or one of those paper number machines like they have at delis! Or a fluorescent pink conical hat that says “LAST PERSON IN LINE” and it gets passed from person to person as they trickle in! But we can’t have this. We have to have a confused blob, and everyone has to be anxious and upset about it. So I became That Lady. Anyway, we went to confession, and then resumed shopping.
The shopping turn kid chose popcorn chicken, which I agreed to because I forgot the oven was still broken. I also picked a variety where the chicken was uncooked. So I ended up doing it in five ten-minute batches in the little air fryer, and it was delicious, but does not figure into the “very efficient December” thing I referenced above.
I also made a batch of dough to make cookies on Sunday.
That was efficient! Also, we stopped at a thrift store and I happened to find a cake pan that was exactly the shape I was looking for! Efficient and lucky!
SUNDAY Grilled ham and cheese, fake doritos, pickles
After Mass, Corrie and I went to Lena’s apartment, and Corrie and Lena worked on a birthday present for Benny, and I borrowed Lena’s oven to make cookies and cake. I brought everything I could think of that I might need, including cake mix, eggs, and oil, parchment paper, toothpicks for detail, all kinds of decorating supplies, and a big pan. But I forgot the cookie dough. So I had to start over, and ended up having a very pleasant afternoon listening to my oldest and youngest daughters working happily together while I baked.
It was Benny’s birthday we were preparing for, and she asked for a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, and she asked to be surprised with the theme. I settled on Merlin, the BBC show they watched recently. This show is pretty, pretty terrible unless you watch it through the eyes of a young teenage girl!
My original plan was to make cookies of Merlin, Arthur, Guinevere, Excalibur, Gaius, Uther, and the Dragon, and possibly John Hurt, but that was too ambitious, and I kept wrecking the Gaius cookie in various ways. So I settled for Merlin, Arthur, Guinevere, and the dragon. When I got home, I made two more attempts to make a Gaius cookie. First I tried the air fryer, and probably you can make this work, but I could not. Then I tried just broiling it in the oven, and you’ll never guess what happened.
So, Damien suggested I make it Gaius who has been burnt up by the dragon (not a thing that actually happens in the show, but it’s funny). The main thing about Gaius is this goofy face he makes with one eyebrow raised, so here’s his cookie:
Anyway, I spent such a long time decorating those cookies, and every last one of them turned out weeeird! (Another thing I forgot was black icing, so that was a challenge.) And I still hadn’t figured out what the cake itself would be.
But wait, I had bought that thrift store cake pan, which was a castle shape. So I opened the box feeling lucky and efficient . . . and it turned out to be a large number of plastic towers and turrets and plastic doors and windows. No pan at all. I guess you are supposed to smear frosting on the plastic, bleh.
(This is an eBay listing. I think I spent $4 on it.)
I have this dumb thing where I really want everything on a cake to be edible, even if no one in their right mind would actually eat it. But time was passing by, so I let yet another pointless personal standard slip through my hands, and I made a cake that was part plastic. I scored the frosting to make it vaguely brick-like and then sprayed it with edible silver spray, and sprinkled some rock candy around, for purposes of . . .I don’t know, magic?
Kind of makes you wonder why everyone thought Camelot was so great, but those were different times, I guess.
While Corrie and I were at Lena’s house, Damien was at home doing all the prep for his amazing incredible lasagna. Then we got home and I quickly made some grilled sandwiches.
And then I do believe I feel asleep on the couch.
MONDAY Birthday lasagna, birthday cake
On Monday, first we went to Mass for the feast day, and then the part for the oven came, and Damien installed it right away so he could bake the lasagna. And then, literally right immediately then, the dryer broke. Poor Damien has gotten really good at fixing all kinds of appliances, so off he went with the autopsy, while I finished this ridiculous cake, and then I decorated the front door.
I cut a bunch of greenery from the yard and attached it and some fake berries to a broken Swiffer with zip ties, and then zip tied that to the trellis.
Not the most lush or symmetrical garland imaginable, but it was COLD out there, with wet snow falling faster and faster, and I did not want to go out again!
Then I strung lights back and forth and back and forth inside the trellis, and hung a wreath on the door. By the time the kids got home, it was dark enough for the lights to show up, and they were properly impressed.
And nobody noticed that I got the plug ends backwards like I do 100% of the time, and I had to run an extension cord over the step.
The lasagna was superb, as it always is. He actually made two. Here is the larger one, right before we devoured it:
I am deeply suspicious of lasagna that stays together in a neat stack when you cut it.
Oh man, it was so good. Oh I ate so much.
Then we had presents and cake. Sweet Benny was absolutely delighted by this bizarre cake, which I ended up holding together with skewers.
Benny is also a big fan of The Office, so I made an “IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY” banner, and then someone smudged the letters. The original plan was to have the dragon breathing fire onto Gaius, but I ran out of time and, frankly, enthusiasm. So here was the finished (?) Merlin cake:
But like I said, she loved it. Her favorite was the Guenevere cookie, which I have to admit was pretty, even if it doesn’t look much like the actress.
She also loved all her presents. The one from Corrie was a Barbie doll that she transformed into a FMA Edward Elric doll.
Corrie did the hair and some of the clothes, and Lucy made the coat, and Lena did the face.
Lucy knitted a Merlin doll for Benny, which she was, if possible, even more delighted with
and it was a pretty good doll! My kids are so talented.
She got a number of other thoughtful presents and she had a wonderful day, and everyone was happy for her. She’ll be having a party with her friends at some later date!
TUESDAY Chicken and chickpeas, onion salad, yogurt sauce, fresh pita
Tuesday I pushed really hard to clean, declutter, and rearrange the living room, to get ready for the Christmas tree. Most years we end up dragging a wet tree into a chaotic house and then scrambling to make room for it, but NOT THIS YEAR.
Tree-ready.
I made a stab at getting the rest of the Christmas decorations out of the attic, but it turns out I consolidated them all into a giant tub last year, for the sake of efficiency, and then shoved them through the second-floor attic access door — and then, while rearranging Corrie’s room, moved a heavy old bunk bed in front of the door, and then a certain adult child stacked that up with tubs and tubs of things that don’t fit at THEIR apartment. This Christmas tub is too big to fit down the other access door, which is one of those drop-down ceiling ladders. So I don’t know, maybe Christmas is cancelled. At least I vacuumed.
Oh anyway, we had chicken and chickpeas for supper. We haven’t had this dish for a while, and it’s yummo. Here’s the recipe
I got a big tub of Greek yogurt and used half to marinate the chicken, and made the other half into dipping sauce with fresh garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, and a little salt. Then I made a nice bowl of red onion salad with lemon juice, salt and pepper, and cilantro. Maybe a little olive oil, I forget.
and then I made a batch of dough for pita. I have tried so many recipes, but have returned to this one from The Kitchn, which makes soft, tender breads you can make all at once in the oven. You can also make the dough, let it rise, punch it down, and then pause it in the fridge until you’re ready to finish it, which works out perfectly with my afternoon schedule.
So when the chicken and chickpeas were almost done cooking, I got the dough out of the fridge, rolled it out, turned up the oven a bit, and baked eight pieces. They turned out lovely.
When you bake them in the oven, you get a softer, puffier pita, and you don’t get those characteristic flattened bubbles like if you’re frying them on the stovetop, but I honestly prefer it this way, especially for the purposes of this meal.
I skipped the onion that’s supposed to go along with the chicken and chickpeas, and didn’t really miss it.
I was so so hungry and it was a very tasty meal.
If you are a chicken skin appreciator, you will want to try this marinade. Look at how crackly and savory the skin turns out.
The meat underneath stays nice and moist. I don’t think I’ve ever had this meal turn out bad.
WEDNESDAY Second lasagna, garlic bread
Wednesday we were supposed to get the tree, but it was SO bitterly cold and windy, nobody wanted to go outside more than necessary. So I heated up the second lasagna Damien made, and made a bunch of garlic bread, and everybody was happy.
THURSDAY Meatball subs, vegetable platter
On Thursday Damien fixed the dryer! He’d been working on it every day, but he does also have a full-time job. Such a hard worker.
In the morning, I made a big vegetable platter and some meatballs, then moved the meatballs to the slow cooker and spent most of the rest of the day in the car, because people needed to be here and there and here and there. It happened that Clara also needed a ride, and she repaid the favor with a big sack of fresh baguettes from the bakery where she works! So I had been planning meatball subs on boring old Aldi rolls, but we got an upgrade.
The meatballs were nothing to write home about, but the fresh bread more than made up for it.
On Thursday Benny and I did venture out over the ice in the dark and got a tree from the Lions or Rotary or whatever, and it is now lying in state in the living room. We still haven’t figured out how to get the rest of Christmas out of the attic, so it’s not in a tree stand yet. We’ve got time! Surely! Due to my prior efficiency!
FRIDAY Tuna boats, fries
I discovered halfway through the week that I had never figured out what to make for supper on Friday, so we are having tuna boats and fries. I actually love tuna sandwiches, so no complaints from me. No complaints from me about anything right now, actually. What do you know about that?
Basic "blank canvas"sugar cookies that hold their shape for cutting and decorating. No refrigeration necessary. They don't puff up when you bake them, and they stay soft under the icing. You can ice them with a very basic icing of confectioner's sugar and milk. Let decorated cookies dry for several hours, and they will be firm enough to stack.
Servings24large cookies
Ingredients
1cupbutter
1cupwhite sugar
1-2tspvanilla and/or almond extract. (You could also make these into lemon cookies)
1egg
2tspbaking powder
1/2tspsalt
3cupsflour
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350.
Cream together butter and sugar in mixer until smooth.
Add egg and extracts.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, salt, and baking powder.
Gradually add the dry ingredients to the butter and sugar and mix until smooth.
Roll the dough out on a floured surface to about 1/4 inch. Cut cookies.
Bake on ungreased baking sheets for 6-8 minutes. Don't let them brown. They may look slightly underbaked, but they firm up after you take them out of the oven, so let them sit in the pan for a bit before transferring to a cooling rack.
Cumin chicken thighs with chickpeas in yogurt sauce
A one-pan dish, but you won't want to skip the sides. Make with red onions and cilantro in lemon juice, pita bread and yogurt sauce, and pomegranates, grapes, or maybe fried eggplant.
Ingredients
18chicken thighs
32ozfull fat yogurt, preferably Greek
4Tbsplemon juice
3 Tbspcumin, divided
4-6canschickpeas
olive oil
salt and pepper
2red onions, sliced thinly
For garnishes:
2red onionssliced thinly
lemon juice
salt and pepper
abunchfresh cilantro, chopped
32ozGreek yogurt for dipping sauce
3clovesgarlic, minced or crushed
Instructions
Make the marinade early in the day or the night before. Mix full fat Greek yogurt and with lemon juice, four tablespoons of water, and two tablespoons of cumin, and mix this marinade up with chicken parts, thighs or wings. Marinate several hours.
About an hour before dinner, preheat the oven to 425.
Drain and rinse four or five 15-oz cans of chickpeas and mix them up with a few glugs of olive oil, the remaining tablespoon of cumin, salt and pepper, and two large red onions sliced thin.
Spread the seasoned chickpeas in a single layer on two large sheet pans, then make room among the chickpeas for the marinated chicken (shake or scrape the extra marinade off the chicken if it’s too gloppy). Then it goes in the oven for almost an hour. That’s it for the main part.
The chickpeas and the onions may start to blacken a bit, and this is a-ok. You want the chickpeas to be crunchy, and the skin of the chicken to be a deep golden brown, and crisp. The top pan was done first, and then I moved the other one up to finish browning as we started to eat. Sometimes when I make this, I put the chickpeas back in the oven after we start eating, so some of them get crunchy and nutty all the way through.
Garnishes:
While the chicken is cooking, you prepare your three garnishes:
-Chop up some cilantro for sprinkling if people like.
-Slice another two red onions nice and thin, and mix them in a dish with a few glugs of lemon juice and salt and pepper and more cilantro.
-Then take the rest of the tub of Greek yogurt and mix it up in another bowl with lemon juice, a generous amount of minced garlic, salt, and pepper.
There are ten million essays out there helping us understand what Christmas is (and I’ve written about three million of them myself). And it’s no wonder: The event of Christmas is something so huge and so profound, not even the most open mind can fully comprehend it. There’s always something more to say.
Nevertheless, this year I’d like to go in a different direction and talk, instead, about what Christmas isn’t.
It’s not a stick to beat pagans and atheists over the head with. Here in the states, we love to grumble about the “war on Christmas.”
Occasionally this means some local ordinance bans setting up a nativity scene on the town commons; but more often it means you go out to buy some batteries and ornament hooks, and the cashier said “Happy holidays” when they gave you your receipt, so you thundered back, “Merry CHRISTMAS” using your special scary St. Boniface voice.
Don’t do that. You’ll wake up baby Jesus, and he just barely went down for his nap. If Christmas is as great as we say it is, then surely it gives us the room to be decent to each other in its name.
How do we keep our celebration of Christmas from getting too materialistic?
I have bad news: If it is this point in the year and you are just now worrying about it, it’s probably too late. The way we celebrate Christmas tends to reflect the way we live in general.
If you and your family are constantly thinking about shopping and upgrading and keeping up with TikTok influencers, then Christmas will be the same, just with more jingle bells. If you and your family rarely think of people in need, and then you suddenly decide halfway through December to throw some money at a toy drive or a food pantry, then it will feel artificial and performative because it is. If Mass and other religious practices are something you grudgingly fit into your ordinary life if you have time and are in the mood, then that is how the Nativity of the Lord will be.
We are more consistent than we realize. Your Christmas will look the way you have decided to live. So, if you are materialistic all year long, then yes, your Christmas will almost certainly be materialistic. Sorry!
But I did say “almost certainly.” The reason is this: I know very few self-identifying Catholics who really celebrate Christmas in the hyper-materialistic way I described above. I read about such things online—kids flipping out because their new Audi isn’t the color they wanted or wives refusing to come out of their rooms because last year’s diamond was bigger—but in real life, all the people I know who are worried about materialism swallowing up Christmas really just mean: “Presents are a big part of Christmas at our house, and that makes me feel weird.”
Don’t feel weird. It’s O.K. Presents are nice, and they are a normal and morally neutral way to express love to each other (and sometimes, a way to keep the peace in the family, and that’s not necessarily wrong either). Just because money has changed hands and wrapping paper is involved, that doesn’t mean you have violated the spirit of the Incarnation.
What I used to tell my kids, back when they listened to me, was that Christmas is baby Jesus’ birthday, and the only present he wants from us is for us to be good to one another. But there is no reason that being good to one another cannot take the form, in part, of buying or making presents. That is part of incarnational living: Expressing love through physical means. Buying or making a thoughtful, meaningful gift that you can reasonably expect to bring happiness to someone else is a far holier thing than dourly insisting that our Lord and savior is sick and tired of all this merriness.
We do need to remember the poor (on Christmas, and every day), and we do need to worship the Lord (on Christmas and every day), and we do need to be good to each other in intangible ways (on Christmas, and every day). It is also perfectly fine to mark the season by having fancy cookies and buying electronics for one another. It is a big holiday. There is room for a lot of different ways to celebrate.
Happy Friday! Brr, it’s cold. Boo, I’m fat. I finally dragged myself up on the scale because I figured I was thinking about it constantly anyway, and I might as well know what I’m thinking about, and it was . . . not great. It was three pounds less than the number I was very afraid of, so I’ve got that going for me. I gained most of it after I broke my toe, which is a ridiculous reason to gain weight, but there you go.
This is the part where I’m supposed to announce that I’m launching a new plan to get back in the saddle and really do the work because I’m worthy of the effort, but in all honesty, who knows. It’s cold. It’s dark. I bought some bigger pants that fit better, and I drank some water today. Who knows.
Anyway, totally unrelatedly, I need to tell you about my adventures in the pie trade.
Right before Thanksgiving, I advertised on Facebook marketplace and some local groups, and got orders for eleven pies. I ended up making apple, mini apple, pumpkin, mini pumpkin, coconut custard, blueberry, and chicken pot pies. Then also, right before that, I made a cranberry curd tart and five mini apple pies for the school get-together.
And then I tied my apron on one last time and made seven pies for our family: Two apple, two pumpkin, one pecan, one coconut custard, and one cranberry curd tart with walnut crust.
I did make a profit (I think. I didn’t look too hard, but I do have a wad of cash now), and Damien suggested I use it to buy a freezer to make my life easier next time I do this. (I was shuffling things in and out of the fridge and stashing stuff in coolers, and it was not pretty.) So now I’m skulking around the used freezer market, looking for something dented and energy inefficient, so it won’t break in 18 months.
And I’m trying to work myself up to mentioning pies on Facebook again, to see if anyone wants a Christmas pie. Or maybe a cheesecake! I do make good cheesecake. I struggle with decorating it in a way that looks professional, but I saw a thing where someone dropped colored batter onto the unbaked top and then used a toothpick to drag it into a design, and then baked the design right into the top. I could do that!
We did some fairly successful dragged-design cookies for the bake sale. Well, we were starting to get the hang of it, anyway.
(Note Benny’s “mistletoe and kiss” design.)
Oh, yes, I forgot to mention, we also made a million cookies for the tree lighting bake sale (a fundraiser for a trip Benny’s going on). I made a triple recipe of my reliable no-chill sugar cookie dough.
I cut out large cookies, cut windows into them, and filled them with crushed Jolly Ranchers, which made pretty little stained glass-effect when baked.
When they were cool, I iced them.
I have a pretty bad tremor, so icing design is not really my forte, but they mostly turned out nice. With a few vaguely obscene exceptions. Anyway, we ended up with 55 cookies and they all sold, so that was a relief.
One other thing that turned out nicely: I used the Sally’s Baking Addiction recipe for sugared cranberries, and oh, they turned out pretty, sparkly and frosty. Here they are drying, next to some freshly-filled chicken pies.
I put some on the cranberry tarts and a few to dress up the pumpkin pies. I also tried sugaring some mint leaves, and that turned out less pretty. A flatter leaf, like basil or even bay leaves, would have been better, because I could have let it dry flat.
We had a really nice Thanksgiving! Most of the kids were able to come, and there was just so much laughing and goofing around, it was a delight. We had a pretty straightforward menu: Turkey, stuffing, and gravy that Damien made, and mulled cider, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, roast brussels sprouts and butternut squash with bacon (I drizzled them with honey and pomegranate molasses, ooh!), dinner rolls, and cranberry orange muffins that I forgot to add sugar to, and everyone said they actually liked it that way.
I had made everyone pick out a poem to read out loud after dinner, and then of course we had pie, and ice cream and whipped cream. Everything was yum dot com, and I love my family dot org (because we are a non-profit).
SATURDAY Aldi pizza
By the time Saturday came around, people were pretty burnt out on Thanksgiving food, so we had Aldi pizza. It was just a regular day of shopping and chores, as far as I can recall. The recent past is a real mystery to me these days. I was, however, thinking of the time that I made an elaborate blown egg Christmas ornament for my high school boyfriend’s parents, and they said it was beautiful, and I said well, I didn’t have anything better to do, and they said, oh.
Yeah, I remember that pretty well.
SUNDAY Turkey sandwiches/Thanksgiving leftovers
Sunday I cut up the remaining turkey and we had sandwiches, or just whatever. Now that I think of it, I was sick and didn’t go to Mass, so probably I just schlumped around all day.
We did paint the Jesse Tree ornaments. We usually do this as our day-after-Thanksgiving tradition, but this was our first free day.
Haven’t gotten any greens for the advent wreath yet. Advent comes at you fast!
We also ate the very last of the pie!
And that’s enough pie for a while. I am thinking about Benny’s birthday cake, though, which I will be making Sunday, presumably in someone else’s oven, as you will see. We have two birthdays in the second half of December and two in the first week of January. And that’s why St. Nicholas and St. Lucy are on their own.
I am, however, thinking of making blintzes for Hanukkah this year.
MONDAY Hot dogs, onion rings
Monday I did the shopping for the Angel Tree thing, and it was fun to buy little kid presents and clothes again! It’s been a while. We all got home super late, so I just cooked the hot dogs and frozen onion rings.
I actually love hot dogs, and I think it’s crazy that the kids don’t. Fancy-pantses, alla yez.
On Tuesday, we got our first real snowstorm of the season, and the kids had a snow day, hooray!
I had splurged on some roast beef because the rest of the menu for the week was mostly leftovers. I followed the first part of this recipe from Sip and Feast I dry brined the meat for 90 minutes, then blasted it at 500 degrees for 15 minutes, then turned the oven down to 300 and kept cooking it until it was rare. Then I wrapped it up and let it sit for a while before slicing, AND THEN THE OVEN BROKE.
We had just replaced the heating element in March, so I’m kind of annoyed that it broke already (possibly something dripped on it and caused it to overheat in one spot in a way that wore it out prematurely), but I have to admit, that was THE luckiest timing for a broken oven. We’ve had ovens break right in the middle of birthday parties, on Thanksgiving, and on Passover, and this is so vastly preferable. Supper was already made, and also Thanksgiving was already made, and all those pies were already baked. I really can’t blame the poor thing for crapping out!
Anyway, the one sad thing was that I had been planning a fun little dessert surprise. I had a package of phyllo dough because I had changed my mind about making spanakopita for Thanksgiving, and also some leftover blueberries from the pies. So Staša clued me in to this lovely stuff called soufra.
Soufra is Greek for “ruffle,” and you make this dish by brushing butter on sheets of phyllo dough, and then folding them into pleats and arranging the pleated dough in a spiral in a pie plate. In this recipe, you bake the buttered, pleated dough for ten minutes, then pour a custard over the top and then sprinkle it with blueberries, and bake it again. I was following this simple and clear recipe on Instagram, except I didn’t have orange extract, so I used almond. I also didn’t have heavy cream, so I used half-and-half, but decreased the amount. Also I was using duck eggs, which are considerably bigger than large chicken eggs. So I guess I should say I “followed” this recipe.
But, did I mention, the oven broke? This is how I realized it was broken: Because the soufra started to brown, and then stopped. So I ended up pouring the custard on anyway, covering the pan with tinfoil, and roasting it for half an hour or more (the upper heating element still works). This just wasn’t getting me anywhere and the center just wouldn’t set, so I reluctantly decided to microwave it. This took way longer than I expected (maybe 18 minutes all together), but it finally firmed up.
I think I took this pic after the broiling but before the microwave. It swelled up more, and a lot of the berries popped in the microwave.
So this poor soufra was not as crisp on top as I think it’s supposed to be, and parts of it kind of bulged out unexpectedly (you know how things bulge in the microwave), but it was actually still so good. I was afraid it would be flabby and rubbery because of the microwave, but it was just tender and pleasant. And pretty! We served it warm with the last of the vanilla ice cream from Thanksgiving, and it was very popular.
There are many, many kinds of soufra, sweet and savory, so I’m very glad to know about it. I think it would be ahhhhhmazing with rhubarb. And I’m thinking about things like sausage and onion, too. It came together very fast, but looked like I had worked hard.
Oh, so for supper, I had been hoping to toast my roll for the roast beef sandwiches, and also maybe melt the cheese over the meat. But I may have mentioned, the oven was broken. So I tried using a kitchen torch.
This . . . sort of worked. But not really. But it was still an incredibly delicious sandwich (I had tomatoes, provolone, and horseradish sauce on mine),
and I’m absolutely using this method for roast beef in the future. Someday I’ll follow the whole recipe, which is supposed to result in roast beef like you get at the deli.
WEDNESDAY Chicken/turkey noodle soup, crock pot banana bread
Wednesday I dragged the turkey carcass out of the freezer and made soup, adding some diced chicken breasts that were left over from the chicken pot pies. I had been intending to make challah or something to go with the soup. But, oops no oven. My first choice for non-oven bread would have been naan, but I knew I was gonna be home late again. So I went with this slow cooker banana bread. I was pretty skeptical, but I figured banana bread is supposed to be really moist, so maybe it would be good. Here is how it went in:
You heat up the slow cooker for a few minutes, and then put the batter in and let it cook on high for 2.5 to 3 hours. I actually ended up letting it go for 3.5 hours, so it was pretty burnt on the edges. But it was still delicious!
I threw in some pecans left over from Thanksgiving, and it was very fine banana bread. I’m so pleased to know this is an option — both for times when I can’t use the oven, and times when I want a quick bread but I won’t be there to take it out of the oven. Yay, new things!
The soup was perfectly fine. It was very simple, just broth, meat, carrots, onions, noodles, and pepper.
It’s so dang dark these days, I really struggle to get a normal photo. I struggle with lots of things. This is the darkest month, right? It starts getting lighter pretty soon, dot argh.
THURSDAY Gochujang bulgoki, rice, cucumbers
I had been intending to heat up a chicken pot pie I made before Thanksgiving (I accidentally made too much filling for the two pies I sold, so I made a third one and froze it), but even thought Damien ordered the replacement heating element as soon as I told him we needed one, it isn’t going to be here until Monday. So I stopped at the store and got some pork and cucumbers, and in the morning, I made a gochujang bulgoki sauce.
My original plan was just to marinate the chops and then broil them, but as I was staring glumly at the cluttered windowsill and thinking how unfair it was that the ground is covered with snow and we still have flies in the kitchen, I spotted a kitchen gadget I forgot I had bought a few months ago. It’s basically an oversized pencil sharpener with a handle, and you twist the carrot around, and these long, ruffled ribbons emerge.
I guess you are supposed to roll them back up to make flowers, but I decided to leave them unfurled, cut up the pork in thin strips, and made bulgoki. I skipped the onions and just set the pork and carrots marinating together.
I did attempt to put the cucumbers through the vegetable sharpener, too, but they didn’t fit, so I just cut them up. This gadget will come in handy for when we make our New Year’s Eve shushi! You could probably also make potato flowers, if you cut the potato into a cylinder first. I guess parsnip flowers.
We had to stop on the way home to buy boots for THREE kids, and GET THIS. We did it! It took, like, twelve minutes and everyone is happy. And the kid who didn’t get boots because she didn’t need boots isn’t mad! I cannot believe how easy I get off sometimes!
So when we got home I pan-fried the meat and cooked the rice in the Instant Pot, and it was a delicious meal.
You can eat the meat/vegetables and rice with lettuce, but I had bought a bunch of nori when the international market shut down, so we had that. More food in little bundles, I say! Yum yum.
FRIDAY Spaghetti
We made it, pals. I did manage to get the nativity scene set up last night. If you happened to drive by our house before it snowed and you noticed where I tossed that wreath I bought, please let me know. As soon as it warms up a little, I’ll dig for it, but I don’t know where to dig!
I just remembered something funny. Right before Thanksgiving, I stopped at the store for some bread flour to make dinner rolls. Then I made the pies for the family, and I was like, “oh look, a brand new sack of flour!” and dug in. But of course it was bread flour. Let me tell you, those pie crusts were FIRM. Ha! Oh well.
Basic "blank canvas"sugar cookies that hold their shape for cutting and decorating. No refrigeration necessary. They don't puff up when you bake them, and they stay soft under the icing. You can ice them with a very basic icing of confectioner's sugar and milk. Let decorated cookies dry for several hours, and they will be firm enough to stack.
Servings24large cookies
Ingredients
1cupbutter
1cupwhite sugar
1-2tspvanilla and/or almond extract. (You could also make these into lemon cookies)
1egg
2tspbaking powder
1/2tspsalt
3cupsflour
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350.
Cream together butter and sugar in mixer until smooth.
Add egg and extracts.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, salt, and baking powder.
Gradually add the dry ingredients to the butter and sugar and mix until smooth.
Roll the dough out on a floured surface to about 1/4 inch. Cut cookies.
Bake on ungreased baking sheets for 6-8 minutes. Don't let them brown. They may look slightly underbaked, but they firm up after you take them out of the oven, so let them sit in the pan for a bit before transferring to a cooling rack.
If you’re a regular reader, you know I’m not going to tell you what trending decor you need to buy to make your house look both WOW and NOW for Christmas this year. I’m not going to tell you what you absolutely need to pull piping hot from the oven while wearing themed oven mitts in order to make your children’s life magical rather than tragical. And I’m not going to give you any tips for sculpting your bod so as to show up at the office party looking like that baddie everyone’s . . . mogging on. Mogging about?
I’m old, I don’t know what I’m talking about.
I do dearly love giving advice, though. So as it is Giving Tuesday, here is my best, most practical advice for how to have a pretty good December. (Some of this is geared toward big, chaotic families and Catholics, but not all.)
1. If you’re planning to give money to someone who needs financial help, do it ASAP. A splashy last-minute miracle is nice to get, but what’s really nice when you’re poor is knowing that certain things — a present, a Christmas meal, or the electric bill — will be covered.
2. If you live on the dark side of the Mason-Dixon line, start taking Vitamin D gummies every day, and keep it up until Spring. It may not make a dramatic difference, but it may help you feel a little more energetic and less sad as the darkness grows. Gummies are more expensive than pills, but I’m far more likely to remember to take gummies because I am a big baby.
3. For the storage-poor among us who buy a mountain of presents: Clear a corner of the house now, for storing the landslide of Amazon boxes we are about to receive. If you have to, stash your regular clutter in a trash bag and deal with it later. I’m not a spreadsheet person, so I keep a running email in my drafts folder to keep track of what I have ordered, where I ordered it from, and what has actually arrived. Or you could tape a piece of paper to the wall, and attach a pen to it with a string, and really commit to keeping it current. Just do something other than stashing things here and there and keeping a running tally in your head, for that is the path to heartache and lost presents and horrible last-minute trips to Target.
4. If you just had a baby or you’re sick, you don’t have to travel to anyone else’s house. You just don’t. It’s a normal, human, reasonable thing to say, “Oh, sorry, we can’t do that” and just keep saying it, and following through. Let your [insert irrational relative] be mad! What are they gonna do, arrest you? If you’re the husband/dad, it is YOUR JOB TO STICK UP FOR YOUR WIFE LIKE JOSEPH DID FOR MARY. Protect her and defend her and ask her what you can do so she can put her feet up at least a little bit on Christmas, and really do it, even if you don’t get why she cares about it. Your wife is more important that your [insert irrational relative].
5. If you’re feeling overwhelmed about all the Important Traditions you have accrued, ask the people you’re in charge of which ones they actually care deeply about, and see if there’s anything you can weed out. You may be surprised. But also ask yourself which ones you care about, because your preferences also matter! But also, consider delegating responsibilities — and then preparing yourself to be okay with results that are not exactly how you would have done it. In any case, a group conversation about expectations ahead of time in a calm, neutral way is almost always helpful for managing anxiety and overwhelm about big plans.
6. If you’re using NFP, get ready to see your weirdest chart ever in December. Stress and a poor diet and lack of sleep will do that. I have no further advice; I’m just telling you you’re not alone.
7. Consider doing screen-free hours for Advent if you can. This year, we are doing screen-free evenings from 7-10:00, Monday to Thursday; and then Fridays are for family movies (and weekends are whatever). This routine really tamps down Christmas frenzy and gives us time we didn’t realize we had, to do nice things like read books, pray as a family, listen to music, do crafts, or just sit around and yack; and it helps some of us sleep better.
8. If you have little kids who will be getting dressed up, sort out tights and dress shoes now, and put them away. Also maybe write on your calendar on Dec. 24 where you put them away. So many, many things will be going on right before Christmas, and shoes and tights are always the first casualties. If you care about what your older kids are going to wear, have them pick an outfit and show it to you well in advance. Consider not caring, though.
9. Christmas light timers are actually pretty cheap, and they are so worth it. Time and energy spent trying to make yourself get up and turn on the lights, or get up and turn off the lights, is time and energy you cannot spare. Buy the automatic timer.
10. Buy more scissors and more tape now, and hide them. But don’t hide them so cleverly you can’t find them. And buy batteries!
11. If you’re going to take pictures at Mass of everyone in their nice Christmas clothes, and you want them to look even minimally cheerful and alert, take pictures before Mass, not after. Not only will there be less dishevelment and sulky expressions, your conscience will be more likely to allow you to say things like “You’re going to smile in a normal way in the next three minutes, or you’re going to meet a helicopter of fists” before Mass than it will after you’ve received the Body of Christ.
Alternatively, just lean in to the whole Terrible Family Photo thing. You are who you are, so why struggle? Think of it as doing society a favor, so other people don’t feel like they have to live up to a photoshopped, studio-quality life.
12. If you’re going to Midnight Mass with kids, wear thick poofy jackets even if it’s not cold. This is more decorous than sleeping bags, but it serves the same purpose.
13. Build the thing ahead of time. That Barbie Dream House is going to take longer than you think to put together. Consider setting captives free before you wrap them, by which I mean cutting the 496 little plastic loops keeping toys in place in their packaging. Kids want to play with their new stuff right away, and there’s nothing more stressful than trying to make that happen while they shout at you.
14. Get to confession during Advent. Just do it! Do a lame, half-hearted, grumpy confession if that’s the best you can muster, and let Jesus do the rest. Then, whatever else is going on, you’ll be able to say, “oh, but we got to confession, yay!”
15. Disposable goods are your friend. Think about Christmas breakfast. Think about the stickiness. The crumbs. The spilled drinks with pine needles in them. Christmas is a really great time to use at least disposable tablecloths, even if you’re not a disposable tablecloth kind of person normally.
Relatedly: A little eggnog goes a long way. Consider buying little shot glass-sized Solo cups to encourage more digestible portions.
16. If you don’t use reusable wrapping (we don’t, because I think tearing open presents is fun), make sure trash bags are on your final shopping list. Then when you’re opening presents, have one person be designated to grab the wrapping paper, give it a thorough shake to dislodge any Barbie shoes or instruction booklets or teeny little allen wrenches, and throw it away right away.
17. This sounds dumb, but have a plan for the day after Christmas. Even the most spiritually attuned family feels a sad little let-down after a highly anticipated event, so it’s a great idea to establish some kind of relaxing “day after” tradition — something easy to achieve, like watching a movie or listening to a certain album. Traditions are very powerful for making people feel secure and cared-for, and the predictability almost matters more than what it actually is.
IN CONCLUSION! Do as much as you can ahead of time, try not to be too hard on yourself, and get to confession. Happy Advent!
A couple of weeks ago, I broke my toe. Even though it was only just a very little toe — a piggy, if you will — the break is really cramping my style. It’s hard to walk and hard to stand in one place, and it’s really hard to balance. It turns out that’s mostly what my little toe was for: Helping me keep my balance.
Which I knew, in theory. But sometimes you don’t know something deep down until it becomes so personal that you fall on your heinie, which is what happened to me the other day, when I tried to stand on one foot with a broken toe.
I have spent a lot of time in the last several years thinking about balance, and what it means, and what it takes. Not just physical balance, but something even more interior: Balance in how we spend our time, in how we speak and think, in our politics, in our relationships, and yes, in our spiritual lives.
When I was young, I thought poorly of balance, and compromise, and prudence, and that whole class of virtues that require you to stop, consider, and moderate yourself. I could grudgingly acknowledge they were useful for getting along in the world, if you’re into that kind of thing; but it was clear to me that these were the lamest kind of virtues. They’re a consolation prize for people with no passion, no conviction, no courage, and possibly no personality.
Most of the country feels that way now. I have some friends and family who are very far right and some who are very far left, and they all feel with their whole hearts that theirs is clearly the only honorable position. They also feel that the other guys forced them into it, because someone has to counterbalance all that extremism.
Even people who mean well are very much at sea these days. It’s really hard to know when to freak out, and when to chill; when to sound the alarm and when to pace ourselves. We don’t know when to protest, and when to let things ride, or when to reach out and when to denounce. We can’t tell when to draw bright lines and when to look for common ground. We have, in short, no sense of balance. People get yelled at for trying to maintain some balance.
Lately, I’ve been practicing a form of exercise which I shan’t name, because I’m just too tired to have that fight right now. Suffice it to say it sometimes requires me to stand on one foot. It requires balance. And I have learned that balance is not what I thought. … Read the rest of my first monthly column for The Pillar! Each article will be accompanied by a recipe.
(I did it, guys. I got someone to pay me to write about food!!)
Here we go! This is my tenth annual list of Christmas present ideas. It used to be that I’d only include things I could wholeheartedly endorse, because I had witnessed my kids using or playing with these gifts. But now they are older, and they don’t spend their whole entire lives in the living room where I can see them! So, this is my best guess about good presents. Caveat emptor, and read the reviews. Everything here is under $100, and most of it is under $50.
I have used this kit to make delicious mozzarella many, many times, and I really enjoy it. You just need to supply the milk (a gallon for about a pound of cheese), and I also recommend getting a pair of kitchen gloves, because hot cheese is hot. I also recently started using silicone molds, like this skull one,
Not the most deluxe one out there, but it’s sturdy, easy to put together (my ten-year-old did most of it), and a nice generous size for the price, and it’s on sale right now. You can rig it to swing back and forth, or to swivel.
I actually got this as a summer family TV show (for teens and up), and it was much cheaper than I expected for an entire series. If you haven’t watched it in a while, this show really holds up.
And we have arrived at our first gift that I don’t really know if the kid liked or not! It’s set in ancient Greece and it’s by Lloyd Alexander (author of the Chronicles of Prydain), so it seemed like a safe bet.
Slide your ID in this wallet that has a little cut-out, and you become Batman. It has styles for vertical ID’s, too, for people under 21. Goofy but well-received. Who doesn’t wanna be Batman?
Cowboy Bebop complete serAs I understand it, this is a groundbreaking and seminal series for anime fans, and it has interesting music.
I think this is the last DVD set on the list! I have a long-standing grudge against Spongebob because I could tell when my kids had been watching it, because of how visibly stupid they had gotten. But I have to admit, it’s funny stuff. (Are you happy, Ashley and Stacy? I admit it! It’s funny.)
You might be SURPRISED at how much fun the right kid will get from this thing. It has a million options for fonts and pictures, and I found it a little overwhelming, but my ten-year-old got the hang of it right away, and everything and everyone, including some docile guests, have been labelled ever since.
A book that came highly recommended for ages 9-12, but I haven’t read it myself. A mysterious little free library guarded by a cat appears in town, and leads to adventure.
I actually bought this to go on a charm bracelet, because I apparently don’t know what three inches means. Anyway it’s sturdy, the limbs move, and it has a bright little light and a keychain. If your kids are not as obsessed with Batman as mine are, there are other keychain minifig lights of many, many other characters.
I got this as a starter charm bracelet, and then filled it in with lots of other various charms from Michael’s and Etsy. This is a nice present for making a kid feel like you really know and understand them, because you can find charms of EVERYTHING they like.
A decent starter set for beginning carvers. It comes with a nice little roll case to store the tools in. The tools are quite sharp! It does not include any instructions (or at least the one we got didn’t), so a kid who wants to know exactly what to do might be a little overwhelmed by this.
This was on my wish list, and I love it. The teeth are very sharp and the way the handle is shaped makes it easy to grip and manipulate in tight spaces, and you get a lot more leverage than with a hacksaw. Useful for carving or for carpentry. Japanese tools are super.
Speaking of Japanese tools, here’s another one that I requested and am enjoying having! This one is for the garden, and it’s also super sharp and really handy for smaller hacking and gouging jobs. The handle is light, but it’s a sturdy tool, and very useful.
Might as well mention the hori hori knife I also have, even though I think it was on a previous list.
I can’t find the listing for this exact knife (actually I have two different ones, and I like them both!) but they are all priced around $15-$30, so I don’t know how much it matters which one you get. It’s excellent for bulb planting (it has the soil depth markers right on the blade) and root excavation, as well as any number of other dirt-stabbing jobs you might have. One edge is serrated, and the whole thing is slightly curved, so you can stick the knife into the soil and then twist, and get what you want. An ingenious garden tool with many uses.
I was reading and enjoying this book, but lost it, so I haven’t finished it yet! It’s set in the not-so-distant, horribly believable dystopian future. His first novel, Peace Like a River, was tremendous, and then his second one, So Brave, Young, and Handsome was a huge disappointment; so I figured it was worth a shot. As his writing tends to do, it creeps right up to the edge of being precious and overly self-aware, but it was undeniably fascinating and gripping, and I hope I find it so I can see what happens.
This is a book I only recently became aware of, but apparently it’s beloved. I got it because I was trying to get other people on board with the idea of making a stargazy pie, and that didn’t work, but we sure love the book. It’s a rare children’s book that really appeals to a childlike mind, but doesn’t talk down to kids. A sweet and satisfying story with pleasant pictures. It says ages 2-6, but I think some older kids will find it appealing.
This SEEMED like a good idea, and maybe it will be a good idea for someone on your list! I think the problem is that the thing that makes you want to try making a viral recipe is seeing it online over and over and over again, so having it in a book kind of takes the edge off. It did get good reviews, and the recipes are supposed to be quick and easy.
and I stand by it. King Arthur recipes are well-written and reliable, and this would make a good present for someone who’s learning to bake or who already knows, and wants a solid collection of recipes.
Part model, part puzzle. Does not need glue or tools. Reasonably easy to put together, but it’s nice looking, and would not be out of place as a present for a teen or adult Batman fan.
This is one of these little models that’s designed to be tucked in between books on a shelf, so it looks like you’re seeing into a little world. Kid said she likes it, and the instructions were reasonably easy to understand, but some of the parts didn’t fit together right. So not suitable for a perfectionist or easily frustratable person. There are several other designs, all pretty cool-looking.
Good heavens, more Batman. This is a mirrored bat logo with a light behind it for the wall, and you can change the color with a remote. It’s really more of a light than a mirror, and really more decor than lamp, but it’s cool!
A cute little bookshelf. Comes in several colors. It doesn’t hold a ton of books, as you can see from the picture, but the benefit is that it fits into a narrow space. I vaguely remember putting this together, and I don’t remember crying or running away from home, so it must be reasonably easy to assemble.
I think we forgot to play this? I guess we’ll try it over Thanksgiving vacation. It came highly recommended, and it’s very pretty. It’s a strategy game, for ages 8 and up, for 2-4 players, and takes 30-45 minutes to play.
In case you are not really sure what kind of cat the person on your list had in mind. This one is a bit thicker and also pleasantly soft. I’m really glad they’ve stopped making kids’ sweaters so itchy. What was that about?
Actually we got the Pepsi pencil case from this same company, but that’s sold out and (I don’t know why this makes me laugh but) it says they don’t know if or when it will be in stock again. So maybe you would like this Pringles pencil case, instead. Reasonably sturdy and well-made, and comes in a few different flavors.
Maybe people in this house could be a little quieter! Maybe they could, but they won’t! Maybe they can’t. Here is a white noise machine with 20 different, non-looping sound settings. It plugs directly into the electrical socket, and also has a detachable USB cord, and it has a little light, volume, and a timer.
Another game that came highly recommended, but it was for a kid who has moved out, so I’m not sure if he’s played it or not. It is for 2-4 players, ages 13 and up, and it says it takes 5 minutes to learn, 45 minutes to play.
Directed by Akira Kurasawa, starting Toshiro Mifune, the only actor my mother ever admitted to having a crush on. This is an unexpectedly goofy movie, and the two bumbling peasants were apparently the inspiration for R2D2 and C3PO.
We got manual typewriters for two of our kids for Christmas, and they were a big hit. You can find them for sale on eBay and Facebook marketplace and no doubt other places, and you can find the specific ribbons they need on eBay. I used to spend hours and hours of my time typing out the dialogue from Archie comic books all summer long, and I don’t even know why, except that it was fun. Typing is fun! Especially when the typewriter comes in its own compact little suitcase with a handle. One of the ones we got was military, because you know what? You can’t hack into a piece of paper.
This is “Ice Blue” model, but it comes in several colors. Great for smoothies, very useful for soups in the pot. KitchenAid is still a great brand, but if you are thinking of giving someone a standing mixer, which is a wonderful present, I highly recommend buying an old used or refurbished one rather than new. I’ve had mine for almost 30 years, and it was refurbished when I got it! I hear about the new ones breaking after five years or so.
We got ten of these for stocking stuffers. You squeeze the rubber mug and a rubber kitty pops out. Whoever decided to spell it “POP a Chino” should be arrested, but the actual toy is cute, and satisfyingly rubbery. I have a weak spot for Schylling toys, which are just pure toys, not intended to teach you anything.
Okay this one is really stumping me. It showed up as something I ordered around Christmas, but I have no memory of it, at all. Looks like it might be fun? It says ages 14 and up, “easy to learn, hard to master.”
As I get older, prepare for more and more lists of things that, according to my records, I definitely bought, but I have no further information, haha.
I do remember this! Floppy and adorable, nice and roomy. It is made of “synthetic snowy owl fur,” by which they mean thin fleece. There are a number of other animal onesies at the venerable ABPTBAZ store.
I’m including this even though it’s out of stock, just to remind you that you CAN buy a device that’s just for playing music and reading ebooks, and the parental controls allow you to keep the kid from accessing the [ptui] rest of the internet. Our particular child isn’t especially devious or tech-savvy, so I can’t say how easy it might be to defeat or subvert the parental controls, but there are lots and lots of parents who do want this exact thing and will give detailed reviews, so it’s an option! Feel free to recommend specific products if you’ve found something good.
Perfectly fine earphones that have gotten constant use all year. Reminder that your child does not need studio-quality sound to listen to whatever ridiculous synthesized nonsense they’re probably listening to while they do the dishes. We got these because they matched the MP3 player, but they come in a bunch of different colors.
You’re never gonna believe this, but I don’t remember anything about this game. I think I must have bought it hoping we’d play it over Thanksgiving vacation or something. I will admit it looks very much like something I, and I alone, would enjoy playing. Who wants to come over and play with me? If I can find it?
This isn’t the exact model we got, but something along these lines. You put the coin in the right spot and Godzilla rises up out of the sea (box) making a noise (I don’t remember what the noise is, but I would guess “SKREEEONK”), snatches it, and sinks back down, and the lid closes. There are also versions of this concept with cats, monkeys, pandas, etc..
Brass earrings with an iridescent finish, nickel-free, gorgeous, HUGE. For someone with very confident ears. (I will also say that if you, for instance, buy these well ahead of time and then somehow lose them but don’t discover this until almost the last week in December and need to reorder them real fast, this store is very accommodating and will get a second set to you very quickly!)
Am I thrilled that my ten-year-old latched onto Bender as a hero and role model? Not especially! Does she adore these earrings? Yes, she does. So there you go. At least it’s just his head, and not his shiny metal ass. (They’re pretty big, but because they’re 3D printed, they’re light.)
A very specific present for a very specific person. They have many, many other styles from pop culture, and they come with a little metal chain and clip. My kids have some many charms on their backpacks, they sound like Jacob Marley coming down the hall.
The specific earrings we got (a Russian blue cat gazing at the moon) are sold out, but they do have earrings showing dogs of all different breeds. It’s kind of weird, because the earrings we got were a more abstract design, but it looks like what they’re selling now is more hyper-realistic styles? But maybe you know someone who would be delighted to have earrings that look just like their specific dog. You will probably find them here!
As described. We somehow ended up with two different hoodies, each with a giant parakeet attacking Tokyo (not the same design, though!), but I don’t remember where we got the other one. We ended up giving them both to the kid and she wears both of them, so there you go.
These also come in black with red spikes, and plain black; but the pink and green ones are UV light reactive, so you tell me. I don’t know if Demonia boots are very well-made or if my kid is just really gifted at walking, but she DOES walk around in these, and she loves them. At least they have sensible grippy soles.
And that’s it! That’s the list. Happy shopping, and good luck!
